Rock-A-Bye//Lisoo 리수

💭Chap.20: Thoughts& Feelings 💭

All I wanted to do at the end of the day, was sleep with my daughter after ignoring her for three whole days. But Jisoo didn't like that, saying she wanted to keep me under control, so Somi would have slept with Ireshi since my baby seemed okay with her. I wasn't.

I just wanted to hold my daughter, kiss her little head, pass my hand through her hair, sing her a song to put her to sleep, but I couldn't.

The rational part of my brain agreed with Jisoo, I would have done the same in her place, but my mother's heart was hurting.

«If you need anything wake me up okay?» Jisoo said firmly, to which I nodded «I'm serious Lalisa. No doing stuff on your own. You need to listen to me.» I nodded again as she stared at me seriously as I sighed and rolled my eyes
«I will! I will! Gosh, I promise mother.»
«Now, I can't be your mom too, I'm already Ireshi's. I can be your mommy though, in a kinky way.» she joked making me roll my eyes and quickly lay down, using the sheet to cover myself till it reached my ears
«Shut up!»
She chuckled and pinched my cheeks «Aigoo, my baby Lisa is throwing w tantrum aye?»
I scoffed and pushed her hand away «You're so annoying! I hate you!»
She chuckled and ruffled my bangs knowing I didn't like that «Sure you do.»
I pushed the hand away again and turning on my other side to face her I said «I really do!»
She leaned on one hand, her hair falling to one side, her satin pajama shirt following along giving me a great view of the top of her breasts, making me blush «You love me.» I blushed even harder and closed my eyes, hiding under the covers
«I don't!»
She chuckled and kissed the top of my head «Goodnight Lisa.» I didn't answer her as she turned off the lights and layed down going to sleep.

My cheeks felt really hot, which made me touch them and go over the covers since now I was in the darkness.

Why is she so annoying?! I don't like her! Annoying old lady! Annoying!!!

I kept holding my cheeks as my thoughts went to when we bathed together, now that my mind was clearer something about that moment seemed different.

*Flashback to when they bathed..*

I was still feeling out of sorts, if it was normal me, she wouldn't be here in the bathtub, sitting behind me and back hugging.

Feeling her soft breast on my back made me blush even more and her hands, they were gently roaming around my body, with such care and attentiveness, making sure I was alright and never touching me inappropriately, making my heart race. And the way she hummed a random tune to me with her deep velvety voice, it reached me in such deep places I didn't know I had in me, and I felt cared for. I felt loved.

Everytime her hands passed over one of my flaws I tensed waiting for her to comment on them, only receiving a soft peck on my shoulder.

I turned my head to look at her and asked her «Why are you here?»
She raised an eyebrow «Because you allowed me?»
I shook my head «I didn't mean that... As in like, why haven't you already ran from us? Why are you keeping us with you? Why are you here?»
Jisoo made a small smile and her eyes gently looking at me «Why would I run Lalisa?»
«Aren't you tired of us? Me? Aren't you worried you might be in danger because of me? Aren't you grossed out by someone like me?»
She slowly shook her head and stopped cleaning me, wrapping gently her arms around me «Would you believe me if I told you that I find you the most beautiful woman that I've ever seen? That you're such an amazing and strong person that I always want around? That you seem so lost and fragile that I just wanna hold you and care for you? That Ireshi is the only kid I like, that I find her so smart and cute? That I really like you and I'd like to build something with you. Something stronger than friendship. That all I'd like to do is to erase all of the pain and bad memories you have and make you the happiest woman alive?»

I stared at her speechless, I couldn't believe it, I slowly turned around, kneeling and sitting on heels looking at her «You're lying.»
She shook her head «Why would I lie? I wouldn't gain anything from you. A hot body and hot sex? Sure but that's not what I want.»
«You're 7 years older than me. You can't possibly like me, especially someone like me with a child...»
She took my hands in hers «Listen to me Lalisa. I like you. Okay? And I don't say that without meaning. I've been in love before, I've been badly hurt by it. I wouldn't throw such things around carelessly. I'm not telling you this so you have to like me back or to try to take advantage of you. I like you Lalisa Manoban. And that is the truth. Hell, I would even dare to say that I love you. And you might believe that even less. I can't explain you how or why. Love, attraction are mysterious feelings. I just know I'm sure.»

I blinked incredulously at her, I was feeling in such a way I haven't felt in a long time and my heart felt so full and content. I wasn't sure of what I was feeling exactly. But there was only one thing I felt like doing.

I threw myself at her, my arms locking behind her neck as my lips went on her. I felt tears streaming down my eyes for some unknown reason. But I didn't want to part from her. I didn't want her to let go.

I was ready for her to have sex with me, seeing my irrational action as an invite, instead, her hands never left my hips, gently stroking them with her thumbs. I slowly pulled away, blushing and without being able to look at her. I moved my arms to her torso and hugged her, placing my cheek against her chest, her chin gently resting on my head as we enjoyed the moment.

*End of flashback...*

I turned to look at her although it was dark and I couldn't see anything. I slowly shifted closer to Jisoo and even more slowly moved my hand to hopefully cup her cheek. I must have failed as she made a little pained sound, for then chuckle and with one of her hands, she gently grabbed mine, guiding it to my destination, she softly said «You can come closer. I won't mind. Do you need cuddles?» I silently nodded although she couldn't see, but she must have guessed as she scooted closer to me, placing one arm around me and pulling me against her, as my head went once again against her chest, my hand on her cheek never moving, as I moved even closer, rubbing my face against her. It was so long since someone that wasn't my child cuddled me. It was so long since someone held me. And it was even longer since someone held me with such care and love.

My eyes began stinging and tears slowly fell down and soon I was having another breakdown. And I couldn't understand. I couldn't fathom how I could breakdown so often lately and with her. She must have seen me as a crybaby.

But I didn't really cared. I was... happy.

I guess that could have been the right way to describe how I felt. But I was also scared.

Seungyoon was also like this when we first started out, he was also so good with me, but eventually, he showed his real self.

What if Jisoo was the same? What if I was falling into the same trap from where I ran years ago? What if this time I couldn't escape?

But Jisoo seemed so different, she had countless of chances to take advantage of me and not only sexually. But she didn't. Maybe the deal we made was her taking advantage of me, but no, it couldn't be, because if I had said no she wouldn't have went through with it. I knew it. She showed me. No matter how commanding she seemed to be, my needs and thoughts still mattered. I mattered to her. Ireshi mattered to her.

I don't want to lose her...

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1456 words

Hello hello! Jisoo confessed to Lisa omg! Do you think Lisa likes Jisoo back? Will they have a happy ending?

Thanks for reading commenting and voting!
Big hug and kiss 😘🤗

-Ary 🤙🏻🦄🌈