The Trash and The Green Owl

3

A/N: finals are coming up, and they're killing me.

so what better way to distract myself than to add yet another cursed chapter to this fic?

y'all will need to pry this fic from my cold, dead, rigor mortised hands.

Cale looked happy.

He was sipping a glass of expensive-looking wine as he talked, leaning casually on the countertop of the bar. His eyes were shining, his smile looked genuine, and above all else he looked calm .

Not stressed out by the war.

Not focused on scamming.

Just...

Relaxed .

If only the reason he was like this wasn't a human-sized green owl with a penchant for languages and whiskey.

Alberu glared at him from where he sat, disguised, at a table in the corner of the bar. He had covered his iconic blonde hair with a hat, and he had dressed in his least expensive clothes.

He stood out like a sore thumb in the bar, somehow still looking eons wealthier than the peasants that usually frequented the bar.

Next to him, Choi Han also glared. He was dressed more like an actual peasant, having borrowed clothes from a low-ranking knight. He also wore a hat to cover his dark hair. Choi Han would've blended in perfectly if it weren't for the horrendous fake mustache and sunglasses he had insisted on wearing.

"Look at that owl," Alberu sneered, his eyes narrowed as he tugged his hat lower to cover more of his face. "What's so interesting about him, huh? Oh, yeah, I'm an interdimensional god of languages that prefers the form of an owl blah blah blah ."

Alberu's usually polite demeanor was non-existent when revolving around the language god, a fact that might've been because he had not slept in over forty-eight hours. He had been far too busy plotting to do something as mundane as sleeping .

"The owl has to be manipulating him," Choi Han agreed, stroking his fake mustache as he glared at the owl over the top of his sunglasses. "That's the only reason."

The two nodded, agreeing with each other.

*Across the bar*

"This is the best thing ever," Cage chuckled from under her heavy black hood she was using as a disguise.

"A mustache," Rosalyn wheezed out, her laughter more air than sound as she flopped over the table. Her red locks were temporarily dyed brown thanks to Eruhaben's magic, disguising her.

Eruhaben, who was sitting next to her, sipped his drink elegantly as he moved her ale-filled mug away from her shaking form. He had simply used an invisibility spell rather than bother with a disguise.

Cage and Rosalyn had insisted on following Alberu and Choi Han, and Eruhaben had tagged along, more amused than he had been in centuries.

Cage joined Rosalyn in slumping on the table wheezing when she saw Alberu pull out a miniature version of his "it's not a murder wall it's evidence" wall from a spatial bag and watched him study it as though he hadn't spent the past week memorizing every single bit of crazy on there.

"This is absolutely the best thing ever," Cage forced out, her entire body shaking with amusement.

*Alberu and Choi Han*

Choi Han grimaced when the damned owl let out a loud hoot of laughter at something Cale said. "We're going to lose him," he said sadly. "The owl will dig his talons into him and next thing you know he'll be mindlessly taking language lessons, just another brainless follower of the god."

Alberu slammed his hand down on the table, causing a few stray pieces of red string to come off his portable evidence board and float down to the bar's sticky floor. "We cannot let that happen," Alberu replied gravely.

"Down with the language god!" Choi Han cried, raising his mug of ale. His voice was loud and carried through the bar.

Alberu hissed in warning. "Act natural!" he ordered as Cale looked in their direction with a small frown.

Alberu focused on his board, humming as he pretended not to notice Cale's eyes boring into him. Choi Han went back to stroking his mustache and pretended to be busy composing surprisingly dirty poetry out loud.

(Nobody would suspect innocent Choi Han to come up with limericks about a large-bosomed woman with a shapely ass after all.)

They were going to take down that damned owl.

They just needed to not get caught first.

*Cale*

He knew they were there.

Cale had known all about Alberu and Choi Han's new mission to "save" him from Duo. He had figured it out shortly after he had gone to see Alberu and perhaps steal a few more of his cookies, only to end up seeing the monstrosity of red string and conspiracies that had taken over half of Alberu's office. He had simply stolen a tin of cookies and snuck away, not wanting to involve himself quite yet in Alberu's sudden insanity.

It was amusing to watch, admittedly.

And was Choi Han wearing a fake mustache?

Cale took a sip of his wine, a smirk crossing his face.

This was shaping up to be quite fun.

A/N: i am so many regrets.

i am so sorry.

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