• Tomorrow Will Be Different • {J.C} (P.1)

•Chapter Thirty-Four•

        "It's alive!" Albert exclaimed with a mouthful of partially chewed eggs.

         Erin grinned, watching as Julian sleepily made his way into the kitchen. She took a bite of bacon, the sight of Jules causing her to suddenly lose the hunger to eat.

Her gut swarmed with butterflies each time she looked at him—it was becoming exhausting.

        With eyes barely open, sporting a 'not-so' good morning scowl, Julian pulled a chair out from the table. He quietly groaned, sitting with a slouch as he reached for the cigarettes next to the plate of food Erin had so kindly made him.

Julian was hungover, his head was throbbing and the feeling of his tongue grazing against the inside of his mouth was similar to sandpaper.

Erin had been sleeping in Albert's room—on the air mattress. Julian tried his best conveying what he wanted without actually having to say it.

For some reason, Erin didn't want to be around Julian. In fact, Erin was going out of her way to dismiss him—which he took painstakingly to heart.

He found himself staying late after work to avoid Erin trying to avoid him. Twice within the last week, Jules had been too drunk to even walk a couple of blocks back to the apartment, having to hail a cab—last night had been one of those nights.

        Living with Erin without having the prerogative to touch her was taking its toll on him. He had to see her everyday and pretend like he was just fine with Erin as only a roommate.

Julian would catch her glancing his way, flashing him that same fucking look she had given to him just a week prior—when she had shown up on his doorstep covered in bruises. Since Albert had returned, those glimpses Erin shot his way were fewer and far too in between.

        "What time did you make it in last night?" Asked Albert.

"I don't remember... six—maybe?"

        "That's only three hours." Erin commented, wiping the grease off her fingers.

She couldn't eat anymore, the pitiful misery inhabiting Julian's eyes dispersed any appetite she had left. Erin wanted to wrap her arms him, she wanted to tell him that everything was going to be fine; anything to make his smile reappear.

Nevertheless, Erin wasn't sure that things would be fine, nor if things could ever go back to the simple way it had once been before.

         "The sky is blue, you go to college to pay for college, um... the lottery is a tax on the stupid." Julian mumbled with a rasp. His eyes moved across the table, staring Erin down as she looked back at him in confusion.

       "What?" She forced a sweet smile, not particularly caring much for his tone.

"I'm sorry," Julian shook his head with annoyance plaguing eyes. "I thought we were playing let's state the obvious."

"Well if we're still playing, I'd like to state that you're being an asshole right now." Erin sat back in the chair, folding her arms across her chest.

        "Yeah, what the fuck?" Albert spat.

        "Sorry, I'm- I'm still half drunk. I meant it as a joke—it came out wrong." Julian buried his face in his palms.

He didn't think they would call him out for the comment, it was meant to be taken as satire.
        ...or perhaps it was meant to be satirical.

The truth was, Julian's despair had risen to the surface. He didn't know how to tell Erin how he felt. He hadn't meant what he said to come across so harshly, it only mirrored the frustration he had with himself, and his lack of ability to say what he needed to say.

       "Tomorrow's our first night playing the Lounge full time, you gonna be there?" Albert gleamed proudly as he looked to Erin. 

"If everyone's okay with it... yeah." Erin's eyes wavered to Julian, nearly pleading with desperation.

        Julian scoffed, "Have I given you a reason to make you feel like I don't want you around? Of course I want you there, Erin—I'm more than okay with it." 

"Sarcasm?" Erin asked in a whisper.

"I fucking wish." Julian whispered right back.

        "I figured if things go well, we could quit our jobs and go full time." Albert tried brushing over their very awkward hostility, trying to ease the tension of the obvious elephant in the room.
      "I was thinking, I could get your job back at Kim's, and when we go full-time, you could take over my spot. The pay's a little better—you'd be good at it."

         Erin's eyes widened subtly just before flashing a timid smile. She shook her head, her gaze falling to the uneaten food on her plate.
        "Oh, I- I can't. I mean... I could, but... there really wouldn't be a point."

        "You got something better lined up?" Asked Al.

Erin's eyes darted to Julian and then quickly back to the table. He was focused on her—only her. His pale brown orbs were narrowed into slits, dubious with a glare.

        "Not exactly. I'm going back to Carolina... for real this time. My Mom got in touch with a travel agent and booked a reservation. They're meeting me at the airport, so I can't back out this time."

"You're moving back there?" Albert asked; he could practically feel Julian's discomfort—it wasn't hard to miss.

Al was hopeful that Jules wouldn't say something stupid, that he would leave the room calmly before it came to that.

Al could see how much Erin cared for Julian. He didn't want Jules ruining his chances with her by vocalizing his current irrationally inexplicable emotions.

        Erin nodded her response without making eye contact with either of them.

        Al asked, "When?"

        "Friday of next week. My flight leaves at 10am."

        The sound of chair legs scraping across the floor got Erin's attention. Though she couldn't bare to look at him, she watched through her peripheral as Julian stood from the table.

By the time she mustered the courage to look his way, his back was already turned to her—his cigarette in his uneaten plate.

She kept her eyes on him until he was no longer in sight. If Erin hadn't been on the verge of falling to pieces, she would've gone after him.

        "He'll be fine." Albert reassured her. "He just needs some sleep."

         It was nice to hear that Julian would be fine, however Erin wasn't sure  that she would ever be.