Jealousy

chapter 16

Right now Enzo is up about to give his poem. I wonder what it's about. "This is called Jealousy." His eyes land on me but quickly falls away to his paper. Is this about me.?

"I'm not a jealous person," he starts. "but when it comes to you the thought of someone taking your eyes off of me just for a second kills me a little each time." His eyes land back on me, but just like last time, his eyes fall to his paper. "The thought of you with another guy kills me even more. The thought of you falling in love with another guy makes me want to think things that I've never thought of. The rage seams deeper into my soul every time you look at another guy. Sometimes I can feel the rage slip to my hands and feet. I push back but one day that rage will build up and slip through my hands and feet. Until then I will push it back because I do not have jealousy." He finishes with his eyes landing on me again. He holds it for a second as the class claps. Some look at me but I don't mind them. I look down at my desk and start to play with the bracelet Caleb gave me.

Enzo sits down passing by me. He doesn't say or look at me but then again I'm looking down at my desk. "Rue?" I hear my name being called. I look up and see the teacher looking at me. "Would you like to go?" She ask me.

I'm not really sure I can say it to my mom let alone stand up in front of my whole class. Enzos poem almost brought me to tears and I could just feel his heart ripping. How can I do mine without crying?

"Rue." I hear someone whisper to me. I look over seeing Dean with a warm smile. "You got this!" He whispers. I smile at him but quickly stop as I start to get up.

I cleared my throat once I get in the front. "Mine is called.." My voice trailed off when my eyes land on Matt. I quickly look away to my paper and just breathe. "Mine is called I'll always be the girl who got raped." I could see Enzo eyes widening from the corner of my eye. Actually thats how most of the students are acting. "As I stand there with my back against the door and his body leaning towards mine I start to think on why this is happening. Why me? Was it my outfit that provoked him? Was it my lips that drew him in. Maybe it was the way I talked to him with a firm voice because I was mad?"

"..and if you didn't get the message we broke up."

"Is that so?"

Flashbacks start to flood my mind. I stop and breathe as I feel tears flooding in my eyes. I breathe again making the tears back down and I make my voice steady. "Perhaps it was the way I walked and how my hips moved. What I didn't get was that I wasn't the reason on what was happening. In that moment my mind instantly went to what I did wrong. What I did or didn't do. Even the second time I thought about what I was wearing and how my body looked. But I was kind of numb to the feeling. I knew what was coming next. I wasn't ready. You can never be ready. You will never be ready. I can still feel his touch. His hand gripping my wrist, keeping them up. His other hand holding my leg. His lips and how hard they pushed on mine." My voice started to shake. "I remember all of it. Everything thing was like a vivid dream." A tear escapes without command. "I can't think. I can't speak. I can't even write without the feeling of his touch. The worst part is, I can't tell my people how much he hurt me because I'm scared. I'm scared of what people will think. There's really noway of winning if in their eyes I'll always be the girl who got raped." I closed my book looking down at the ground. I didn't move. The tears hit the ground. It was so quiet.

"You can go and-" I didn't let the teacher finish before I went dashing out of the room. I run all the way to Owens car and thank God he forgot to lock it. I sit in the driver seat and just lay my head on the wheel.

It wasn't long before I hear a knock at the window. I look up. Axel? He got in the passenger seat and closed the door. I opened my mouth to speak but he cut me off saying, "It's okay, you don't have to speak." He hands me a small bag. I give him a small smile and open it. I take the tissue paper out then take out a necklace. It had a gold ring with a green ball in the middle.