The Purging of Asgard

Chapter 16

You sit on a chair in the corner of the bedroom, after being caught up by the All-Father. There were certain things Sif either didn't know, or she left out. Odin didn't sugar coat anything, from his own actions of taking Loki as a baby, to Loki's incarceration, you got all the information you needed. Most of it you didn't want. This all still feels surreal. You have moments of feeling like Lady Sigyn, talking about your time in Asgard, your life with Loki. Then you have moments when it sounds absurd, your mortal memories pressing through, making you second-guess everything you think you know. Now, sitting across from Odin, you are warring a little less with yourself over your own identity and a little more over how you should deal with Loki.

You know him. You know the mischievous prince who would conjure the illusion of a snake in the middle of a banquet just to startle an unsuspecting Asgardian maiden. You know the sincere prince who gave his heart to you, promise a thousand lifetimes to you, began a family with you. You rest your hand over your lower belly, you had been... the pair of you had started your family... almost. You shake off the nagging feeling of loss, trying to deal with the issue at hand,

"What am I supposed to do, All-Father? He has hurt or killed so many, his crimes have gone unpunished. And I have trouble remembering what was and what wasn't... I have a life here that I'm content with." It only slightly feels like a lie.

"My child, your fidelity to your husband has surpassed all before you, earning you recognition as a goddess. You have shown yourself just, fair, loving, and strong willed in your own right. You are perfectly capable of making that decision. So how do you think you should proceed? You will not be criticized if you choose to leave him and remain here as the mortal you have believed yourself to be. Is he worth it to you to stay through his punishment and any impending consequences?"

You stare into the corner of the room, at nothing in particular, thinking, knowing the time to choose is coming soon. You feel the tensions boiling, Loki has been locked away in another room, being watched by Balder to ensure he stays not only safe, but out of trouble, but you know that will only last so long.

"By rights, the throne should pass to Loki now." You look at Odin, thoroughly confused, as he mutters to himself. He looks up, almost startled that he had failed to mention, "Thor abdicated. Relinquishing his claim in favor of spending what fleeting time he may with a mortal. A woman he considers his love."

"Love? Thor? The headstrong, petulant, arrogant, boy prince found a woman to love him? A mortal at that. Honestly you're out of the loop for a generation and you miss all kinds of things." Odin chuckles, though there is an edge of bitterness. Now that you know who, and what, you are, it must be expected of you to return to Asgard. But you're not sure you're ready to let go of this life.

"All-Father." Sif bursts in, "We have news."

"What is it, Lady Sif?" He asks quickly,

"Balder sensed an odd disturbance in the vicinity. A sort of power fluctuation not common in this realm. Together we seem to have placed its origin, and the house is not far from here. We believe it to be Hela's stronghold, and we believe she is not alone.

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"Mom. I had a bad dream again." Aren trudged into my room around nine o'clock. The boy normally slept like the dead, but lately he'd been having the strangest nightmares, falling through a rainbow, a crushing darkness; once it was nothing but a voice, or rather, a scream, a woman wailing a name, seemingly in mourning. The dreams seemed to be triggered by the comics he read, but I made him stop for a while and that didn't change anything.

I gesture for him to join me, as I did every other time, and he hops into my bed, curling up under the covers.

"What was it this time?" I ask, only half listening. I had remembered something earlier this evening that would certainly help to further my mission but it required a bit of research. I used my computer, bemoaning the archaic technology, and waded my way through various web pages of brainless banter, theories, and conjecture on the subject before finally coming across exactly what I needed.

Aren catches my attention when he mentions that I was in his dream this time.

"You looked weird, though. Like, you were really pale, and only had half a face, and you were dressed kinda funny. But the worst part was that..." He looks like he doesn't really want to go on, like the dream was too horrible.

"What was it?" I prompt. He takes a breath,

"It just... It felt like you wanted to hurt me. You were reaching for me, but the look on your face..."

"Aren..." I hesitate, unsure what to say, "you know I wouldn't hurt you, right? I'm here to keep you safe." I feel cold. An odd chill, like I've missed something that could unravel everything I've done so far.

"I know, momma. This was just a really scary one." Too long. He took just long enough to respond, I know something is wrong.

"Was there anything else, sweetie?" The endearment always felt odd, but it seemed to put him at ease most times.

He pauses again,

"No." He lies, even tries to offer me a smile I can see right through.

"Did you want to sleep in here tonight?"

"No, I think I'll be okay. Talking about it helped. Goodnight, momma."

"Goodnight." He shuffles back to his own room. I know I have to work quickly. It's only a matter of time before we're discovered here, and now I see. He knows something, and he may not even know he knows it. As much as I hate to admit it, as much as I've tried to prepare myself for what's coming, I find myself wondering if I actually want to do this.

I shake those thoughts from my mind and turn back to my reading.

I have to follow through. I have to finish this.

I have to win.