𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢, 𝚒 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚞 | 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚞𝚗𝚐

𝟺) 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍?

and just like that, everything can be taken from you in an instant.

when jisung woke up, he was still laying in the living room, he didn't know how many times or hours have passed, and he can't see through the window since his father always kept the shades down.

his body ached, he felt his bones crumbling and his skin stinging in pain, he couldn't see his face just he could feel the bruises on his face, and let us not forget the blood that was coming from his head. ah, the bottle he shattered on my head, he tries to remember and connect the pieces from last night.

"mommy? where are you?" jisung called out, knowing his mother usually would be by his side by now to help him. his eyes are hazy and his head hurts. he tries to stand and look around, but all he sees are beer bottles, dirty dishes, and shattered glass.

now taking in the sense, he finally remembers everything of last night, but he still doesn't know where his mom is. he tries to walk up the stairs by himself, wishing his mother was here to help him. he knows his mom is probably at her cashier job she got without telling her husband because he forbade her to work. jisung's dad wanted her to have to be dependent on him, he couldn't let her try to get away.

jisung finally gets to the top of the stairs, his body aching in pain. he makes his way to the bathroom and opens the door and that's when he sees it.

the bathtub.

and that's when he actually remembers last night.

his mom wasn't working,

his mom was dead, probably in the morgue at the hospital.

tears try to swell in his eyes, but he won't let them fall, he will not fall into his emotions and let them take over.

he looks in the mirror and slowly takes odd his sweater. he can already see the bruises all over his stomach and back, all different colors from blue to green. not only that, but he can see his burn scars, his cuts, and his emaciated body. he looks like he hasn't eaten in ages, probably because he hasn't.

instead of rolling in his own pity, knowing that doesn't get him anywhere, he gets to work to try to clean himself up a little bit. even though his body looks gross and he lives in a rundown house, he tries to keep his hygiene up as much as he can. that can be a struggle sometimes when he is deep into a depressive episode.

he strips his clothes and gets into the shower. the cold water kinda feels good on his skin. he takes the soap he buys with his own money and washes all the dirt away. all the hands, the words, the burns, the cuts, the death, all down the drain. he can pretend that a shower could revive him and make him clean, but it's a temporary solution to an enduring issue.

but he does what he can. he gets out and dries himself off, applying all sorts of ointments and creams to his bruises, but none to his burns and cuts, he needs those to stay for peace of mind.

while he bandages himself up, wrapping his body in bandages and gauze, he remembers when his mom used to do this with him. he won't lie, most of the hits she took, she took them until she physically couldn't try to get up and take another one. she most of the time told jisung to run and hide under the bed or even as he got older, to stay at a friends house. jisung always told his mom he was staying with a friend and he had many. but no, jisung spent those nights sleeping on park benches in the rain, cold, hot, or windy weather.

jisung usually washes his own laundry in the bathtub and hangs it on a rack to dry. he only has a couple of things to wear but he mostly puts on his hike star platform converse, some black cargo pants or baggy sweatpants, and, his black oversized sweater. he doesn't like to wear clothes that show his body at all, he has no sense of confidence.

jisung gets a message, it's from a number with no caller ID so he checked it maybe thinking it was the hospital.

>518 *** ****

hey, it's random street guy you shared a beer with, wanna hang out?

this is when jisung finally looks at the clock and sees it's six pm. he was going to go out anyway and sit on the curb next to the hospital, so he agrees.

what did you have in mind?<

_________________

please keep your nasty mommy jokes to yourself 🫶🏽