Could Have, Should Have, Didn't - A Narnia Fanfiction

Chapter Ten: Hiding Away

It had been two hours since Ivy had left them.

She had promised to be back soon, saying she was only dropping Cynthia off with Mrs. Anderson. But two hours was a long time to be lingering with the woman, and she'd never done that before.

Enough time had passed for her to be lost.

Enough time for something bad to have happened. For someone to have hurt her.

And that caused an uproar of pain in his head.

Was this all because he had accidentally ignored her while they danced in the rain? He hadn't been trying to be rude, he just hadn't wanted to have had to deal with her negativity right then.

Hadn't wanted to see if she was looking at him like she sometimes did. With that glimmer in her outstanding eyes.

A soft careen of the boat sent a jolt of discomfort through him. His knees were getting sore from being tucked so harshly to his chest in his hammock. A stretch sounded good for his tight shoulders and back. A nice walk would do that. A walk to find her.

Tonight, he'd thought, maybe he could get some sort of sleep, but now, with her disappearance, he was wide-eyed and awake, knocking his fingers against the wooden pole behind his head to distract himself and to pass the time.

He didn't want her disappearance to have been his fault.

Had it been?

Where could she have gone?

He wasn't even sure where to begin checking. She never mentioned places she might hang out.

Never mentioned anything.

His foot met the floor.

The memories of the brig haunted his every second and deterred his want to get up and look around. Every shadow menacing.

A whole trip full of darkness- nights by himself and in a cold, tight cell? He didn't want that. The thoughts alone made his teeth chatter.

Yet his need to protect straightened his shoulders, and he slowly shifted in his blankets, hearing how they rustled against the low murmurs of sleep on the boat.

It was a quiet night tonight, no one up and checking on anything, no strangers walking past, no children silently complaining. It would've been a good night to get good sleep. Would have.

For a while, he sat at the end of the strung-up fabric, waiting. Maybe she was getting back at this very moment, maybe she was fine, maybe she had come back, and he hadn't seen her climb into her hammock- it was far away, beside Rita's. Maybe she was asleep and peaceful.

In his heart, he knew she was still out there, and she might be in trouble. If anyone seemed dangerously drawn to trouble, it should've been her. Every second, something was either wrong with her or she'd accidentally stumbled into something.

So, on slow legs, he got up, clambered out, slung his satchel over his shoulders, put his coat on top, and stumbled through the door of their level. Anxiously hoping no one would hear. Having to explain might mean he would be forbidden to go up.

It may have been better that way. His hands wouldn't stop shaking when anything made as much as a squeak. With each step, all he could see was the man who'd locked him away, waiting around every dark corner. Strong hands pressing bruises into his arms.

If he stayed down on his level, he wouldn't have to worry... Oh, but he would. Would worry about her.

A man rushed by, paying no mind to him. But it sent a tremor of fear through Ed. This time, in his imagination, the man didn't just put him in the brig, but he whipped Ed too, then left him to rot in jail. Away from everyone whom he needed to look after.