TW: Mentions of self harm
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Holly's POV
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I wake up around ten am and lie flat on my back in bed. I want to go see Elliot today in the hospital, but JJ said I couldn't as he's going to be doing police statements all day and whatnot. Apparently, Elliot has an older sister who's stepped up to take care of him too and be his legal guardian. He never told me he had a sister, but by the sounds of it, it's going to be a much better fit for him.
I roll out of bed and stay in my pajamas, having no plans to change for the rest of the day. If I'm sad, I like being able to feel gross in my pajamas all day and care about nothing else.
I walk into the bathroom and prepare my toothbrush before shoving it in my mouth. I brush for a long time, and harshly, so much so that I scratch my gums on the tough bristles and spit blood out into the sink. Ouch.
I rinse my mouth until the water runs clear in the sink and I wipe the dribble off of my chin, stifling a yawn. I am exhausted. I haven't been able to rest properly since Elliot was admitted into the hospital, and no matter how many times Ella and JJ say it's not my fault, I can't find it in me anywhere to believe it.
***
I walk downstairs and into the kitchen where I'm surprised to find both Ella and JJ sitting at the kitchen table, munching on croissants, sipping black coffee, and having a chat about plans for the summer (by the sounds of it). JJ's usually at training by now, and Ella works from home in her office, so I'm surprised to see them both being normal and relaxed for once.
"Good morning," Ella grins, seeing me stop in the doorway. "Would you like some tea?"
"Morning, and no thanks"
I sit down next to JJ and he hands me a croissant from the pastry basket in the middle of the table. I take it and nibble the flaky buttery pastry as my wind wanders elsewhere, occupied with the thoughts of school and Elliot and the upcoming Sidemen trip that's happening on Wednesday. I have some homework to do over the Easter break, however, my motivation has been low and I haven't felt like doing any homework given the current state of my life right now.
"How come you're not at training?" I ask, leaning my head against JJ's shoulder for comfort.
"I'm taking the day off," JJ replies, kissing my hair. "I figured...well...I figured it would be nice to spend some time with you"
JJ might not have said it, but I know what he means by that. JJ would only blow off training for something he's worried about, and in this case, that would be me after the whole Elliot situation. I feel bad that he feels the need to comfort and shield me from things, but at the same time I'm grateful that I'm getting his attention. Ella and I struggle to get his attention lately, so when he gives it voluntarily, we take it as a win as he's a busy man with a busy schedule.
"Oh, God," Ella groans, clutching her phone as her eyes skim something on the screen.
"What's wrong, babe?" JJ asks.
"My boss, Gary. He just keeps offloading all the articles on me to write because four people called in sick. I was already busy with the zoo piece, and now this?"
Ella covers her face with her hands and takes a deep breath. She then pulls on a sarcastic smile and slams her phone down onto the countertop.
"Sometimes I can't stand this job"
"Then leave," I reply, gaining a look from JJ. I know Ella's fixated on being an independent woman and not using JJ's money, but surely it wouldn't be the worst idea to stop working for now and spend time finding a job she actually likes instead of wasting her time on a boss that doesn't respect her boundaries.
