Caving In | Titans

Chapter 13 - Shared Trauma

Over the next two days, the three teens have been keeping their distance more from each other than usual. Gar is trying, of course, because he always tries to make sure everyone is okay. But, Sam and Jason aren't feeling it. Jason has pretty much locked himself in the training room but Rose is keeping him company and Sam has been pacing from room to room here and there. She finds herself mostly in the room where all of the Titans used to keep their suits, the displays haunted of what used to be. And Gar lets them be, but he checks on them every so often, offering a snack and something to drink. They might not want to talk, but both of them appreciate the effort. Sam always takes everything with a sweet smile while Jason reluctantly tells him to put them on a bench only for him to go for them as soon as Gar is gone.

Sam is currently seated looking at the display that says "Robin" and she's caught in her thoughts about everything. What could have been and what should have been. Sam didn't have a big plan for her life. But, she thought she'd finish high school and maybe go to college, maybe she'd follow in her mom's footsteps. But, she'd go out and she'd do things. She'd find a purpose in this life and it would be great. She'd have hard times because you can't have the good without the bad, but she'd find a purpose and she'd be happy. She never expected all of this though. The fighting and the torture and the pain. The pain that bleeds and bleeds and bleeds. She thinks the wounds are turning into scabs but then the scabs fall off and there's just more blood and pain. It's just so hard and she swears it was never supposed to be this hard.

"Hey," There's a soft voice pulling Sam's attention towards the hallway. "How're you doing?" Kory has a soft smile as she walks into the room.

"I'm fine." Sam gives her the same smile and looks back to the displays.

"We didn't officially meet. I'm Kory." Kory says as she sits down beside her.

"Sam." Sam nods once at her. "Heard a lot about you. Alien from Tamaran who's a total badass." Sam laughs softly, looking back to the display. "Very accurate. You can shoot fire which is, in fact, badass."

Kory laughs softly. "Thank you." She watches Sam who doesn't crack another smile. She doesn't know her but Dick is worried about her and Jason. Kory's always been better about getting the teens to talk. "Dick is pretty worried about you."

Sam glances at her. "I was kidnapped, held captive again, tortured again, and almost murdered again. Yeah, I'd say that's probably fair to worry." Sam snips and then looks back to her and it's kind of like talking to Gar. The kindness. "Sorry, uh, he shouldn't worry, I'll be fine." Sam forces a smile that should have been reassuring but lacked any sort of emotion.

Maybe she's tired of always being fine. When her mom died, she never got to process that correctly. She was in a constant state of flight or fight living on the streets. In a way, it was nice because she never had to deal with that agonizing pain. And then she'd be fine. Then there was Jerry and she got to process that, and then she was gonna be fine. And now she's here with all this new trauma, and she's gonna be fine. She'll always be fine but she's tired of this routine.

In a weird way, being checked on, has the opposite effect that it should. Instead of making her feel better and loved and cared for, it makes her feel like she's destroying a part of people's lives. They're worried about her and everyone should have bigger and better things to worry about. It puts this pressure on her to be fine. She doesn't want to be fine anymore but if she cracks, maybe she won't ever recover from it. So, she keeps her eyes on the Robin spot, wishing she had been smart enough to rob the Batmobile and get caught.

"Can I ask why you guys decided to go?" Kory asks, her brows knitted together.

Sam shrugs, glancing to her before looking back to the Robin display. Everyone talks highly of Kory, even Jason. So, a part of Sam thinks she could tell Kory. At least at this point, she doesn't really have a lot to lose. What is she gonna do? Tell Dick her and Jason just want to do something to help? And Dick's gonna get mad? He's already mad. It's not like it matters very much.