Memoriae of Forgone Hearts

042

[Cairuel's POV]

March 12

I looked at my phone, Shadace's still not replying to me. I didn't get to see her on their prom, pero nakita ko naman sa stories nila ni Vane na pumunta sila.

Did something happen?

Worried, I took my phone and called her again.

"Answer it, please," I mumbled while tapping my fingertips on the table. Then, the ringing stopped and I felt my eyes lit up.

"Sha, finally—"

"Ang galing mo, Vane!" Shadace welcomed... me? Pero bakit Vane? Kumunot ang noo ko, si Sha ba 'to? She's... energetic.

"You called! Did you see my tweet? You're the best best best friend ever!" The line on my forehead deepened more. Ano bang nangyari? Her voice is different than the usual, or more like, she's not in her usual self.

"Sha? Are you okay...?" I asked.

"Huh? What happened to your voice? You're drinking rin ba? Bestfriend goals!" Nanlaki ang mata ko, drinking? Bigla akong napatayo mula sa pagkakaupo ko sa kama. Ba't naman 'to nag-iinom? This is the first time...

I didn't talk although I had so many questions. For sure, the reason behind her drinking is... she's in pain. I should let her rant. At dahil ang iniisip niya ay ako si Vane, I'll just stay silent and listen to her.

"Anyways, you know that... I'm not, Vaneiza Simone." I heaved a sigh and sat again, I'm all ears.

"You're so daya nga, you said kanina na you will go here and we would... uh tagay?" I chuckled at how she awkwardly said that. Nagiging conyo rin pala siya kapag naka-inom? How cute.

"Is that the term? Ako lang mag-isa nainom dito, oh... Then I felt lonely. No one's home aside from me nga. Lalo tuloy akong nalulungkot!" She became silent for awhile then I heard her sighed. "How I wish... Cai's here..." Hindi ko alam pero kinabahan ako ng kaunti when she mentioned my name.

"Oh gosh, no! No. No. The hell, Shadace, eh siya nga may dahilan kung bakit ako ganito. Nakakainis siya. Nakakainis..." My eyes widened. Me? Kasalanan ko? Bakit ako?

Did I do something that irritated her? We're okay as far as I know.

I'm clueless.

"N-nakakainis..." She continued to say and I panicked when she started sobbing, I feel hurt too when she's in deep pain. She doesn't deserve any of this.

"B-but," she stopped to take a breath again, "I-I like him... W-Wait, n-naiiyak na naman a-ako... Vane... a-anong fagawin ko? I l-like Cairuel so damn much..."

I like Cairuel so damn much...

My eyes widened while that continued to play inside my head.

On repeat.

For real?

"Totoo?" Hindi ko na napigilan.

"Y-yes! You noticed it kaya... t-tapos hindi na ako... n-nag-lie when you asked me..."

I ran up my fingers through my hair. I couldn't help but smile a bit. Who would have thought that we're in the same boat all this time? I didn't notice.

I didn't think she would.

"If... I-If I do not like him, w-why am I hurt when I saw them kanina? T-they look good together... b-bagay na bagay sila, a-alam mo ba 'yon? K-kaya lalo akong nasasaktan. H-how, how I wish... I was her, t-the woman whom he loves..."

Oh, so that was it.

"Why would you wish for something that's already long come true? This is already yours, Shadace."

Sayo lang naman talaga.

Ever since.

"..." Patay. I voiced it out, but that's more good, right? Hindi na dapat mahina ang loob ko, I should even be more observant of her. I don't want to hurt her anymore.

"Vane..." Tawag niya, did she hear it?

"I feel sleepy..." My shoulders slumped. Hindi ko alam kung ano bang mararamdam ko. After that, wala na akong narinig kundi ang tunog ng pagbagsak ng phone niya.

"Sha?" I called, pero wala nang sumagot. I guess, she already slept.

Sigurado namang hindi iiwan si Sha mag-isa do'n. I'll call Manang Meli to take care of her.

And it made me wonder, will she remember all of these?