It Stays As It Was Left

Extra: June 5, 1997

I wrote this as a kind of AU of what would happen is Stevie and Dave had seen each other that night.

June 5, 1997

Stevie sat on stage, surrounded by an unfamiliar band, with an acoustic in her lap. She was four months into the tour for her solo album, which she had oh-so painfully named after the first verse of her favorite Emily Dickenson poem, 'You Left Me.' Although, it was a bit ironic for her to name her album that, seeing as she was the one that left, she tried not to think about that. She had been dating Lenny since the beginning of January, and things had been pretty good over the last six months. He had done a great job at distracting her from the shitshow that was her life, and she was having a lot of fun with him. She wasn't sure if the relationship was actually going to go anywhere, but she knew that she enjoyed being able to ignore the emotional pain that had seemed to overtake her life.

"Hey," Stevie laughed nervously to the crowd, still doing her best to get used to looking over and not seeing any of her best friends by her side. "I'm gonna start this gig off on a slow note, do y'all mind?"
The crowd let out an encouraging cheer and she gave them a smile, beginning the chords to Keep You Right Here. She went through another five songs, carefully avoiding any songs that were obviously about Dave before she covered 'Time' by Pink Floyd.

"Alright," She said quietly after she finished the song. "Everybody having a good night?"
Stevie sent the crowd a sweet smile at their cheers and screams, then stood from her chair to grab the electric guitar resting on the stand next to her.

"Well," She said, pulling the guitar strap over her body and strumming the instrument nervously. "This is the last song of the night. I haven't played it much, so I hope you'll be gentle. This song is called Texas Reznikoff."

This was one of the many songs on the album in which she made it vocally clear just how much she loved Dave, and how their relationship felt to her. Anyone who had a brain and knew even a smidge about her past relationship with Dave would immediately know that it was about him, no matter how badly Stevie had wanted to keep songs like that vague. That was why, even though she had put them on the record, she avoided playing them very often; not to mention the fact that it was hard to not burst into tears when she played the songs.

She finished up the song and sent out her thanks to the crowd, blowing them a kiss as she walked offstage. She handed her guitar to one of the techs and head off to her dressing room, grabbing a cigarette and bottle of wine from the table covered in various papers and articles of clothing. She pulled out one of Becca's old lighters from the pocket she had sewn into her dress and lit up, inhaling the familiar taste of nicotine. She used to taste it differently, and she idly wondered if Dave still used that particular brand as she uncorked the bottle and poured it into one of the provided solo cups.

She took a gulp of the bitter drink and let out a sigh, reaching forward from her spot on the couch to grab her phone. She flipped it open and went to the contacts, hovering over what she still assumed was Becca's number. It had been over a year since she had spoken to her best friend in that Denver hospital, and Stevie missed her so much. She missed all of her friends, it's why she had to drink before and after every performance. She had never pictured herself playing without them, and it felt like a betrayal every time she went on stage without the girls.

Stevie knew Camila and Jenni were doing well, though. Camila and Jimmy had spent a few months in England, exploring the places they weren't able to on tour before they moved up to LA, about an hour away from Stevie's apartment. Jimmy had gotten an acting gig in a couple of movies that the couple was hoping would lead to his big break, and Stevie was just as excited for the man that had sacrificed so much of his life for her dream. Jenni had just finished up her first year of college, majoring in both music production and psychology, which she was loving. It seemed that being around so many people who needed help over the years ignited something in Jenni. Once again, Kurt seemed to be helping the girls out beyond the grave. Not that Jenni would admit it though, as, after everything the group went through in the past five years, she tended to keep her emotions to herself.