I Will Run To You

I Was Nothing

Reunion Arena
Dallas, Texas
Tuesday, September 6, 1983
(12:30 am)
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"I heard your dad telling Buckingham he though it was an inside job."

Stevie stared straight ahead at Joe, who was kneeling on the floor in front of the small, torn leather sofa she was sitting on. He looked as though he had not slept for days, and if it was possible, she had never seen a person more under the influence of cocaine in all her life. He sniffed every few words, he had a tendency to grind his teeth, and he looked as though every nerve ending in his body were smoldering. She quietly thanked God that she had given up cocaine the moment she'd found out she was pregnant.

"Well it looks like he was right, Joe," she said, careful to maintain her calm and not make him angry. "I don't get it. Why all the letters and flowers and all? Couldn't you just have talked to me? Why pluck me right out of the ladies' room after a concert?"

"It's a long story, Stevie." Joe fished in his jeans pocket for a vial of cocaine and opened it, offering the tiny spoon on the inside of the lid to Stevie.

"No, thank you," she said politely, thinking of the baby in her belly that was just about the size of a jellybean now, conceived on the very first night she and Lindsey had reunited, Jess' birthday. She could still see Lindsey lying above her, looking down into her eyes. "Is this what you want, Stephanie?"

It was. She did. She wanted Lindsey and their baby and to go home to Phoenix to see the dogs and get married and have nights out in the backyard with Lindsey and Chris and Lori and the kids and the dogs and the pool and sharing a joint in the moonlight. She knew she had to be careful of how she approached Joe if any of that were going to happen.

"You sure?" Joe quickly sniffed a healthy dose of cocaine into each nostril.

"I am." She thought quickly, hoping for the sympathy vote. "I'm not using right now, Joe, but thanks. I'm pregnant."

"Buckingham's?" She nodded. "I thought you were all hung ho on Henley. What happened there?"

"I'll let Don fill you in on that one."

"I haven't spoken to Don in years," Joe confessed. "You don't follow the news, do you, Stevie?"

"That's history, Joe, not news."

"Touchee." He saluted her with his hand as he shoved the vial into his pocket with the other.

"I don't understand this," Stevie said, trying not to sound impatient. "Why all of this? You could have just asked me out on a date, for God sake."

"I don't do well, person to person," he admitted. "You know my first wife was named Stephanie?"

"Really?" She'd heard all about the situation from Don years before. The strain of losing their daughter Emma had been too much on their marriage, and they were already on the rocks when he'd joined the Eagles.

"She was great. I fucked that up too." His head dropped to his lap. "You know we had a daughter?"

"You did?" She pretended the whole story was news to her, lest she conjure up the name Don Henley another time.

"Emma Kristen Walsh," he announced proudly. "She was a great kid...like a miniature adult, you know? We'd go walking in the park and she would talk to me just like I'm talking to you...like she was thirty when she was three, you know?"

"That's the kind of kid I was," Stevie confided in him. She could see the obvious look of pain in his eyes as he talked about his daughter. "What happened to her?"

"Car accident," Joe explained. "On the way to the park. We used to go there every day, you know, and Stephanie would pack us snacks...and Emma could never reach the water fountain so I'd give her a boost and she'd get up there and take a drink..." Silent tears began to stream down his face which he ignored. "I used to think they should just install a kids' fountain, you know? Like a shorter one next to the regular one." He sniffed hard and added, "That's the only thing that kid ever complained about."

Stevie's hand inadvertently went over her belly, holding onto the baby she was already hoping was a girl so she could name her after Robin. Her eyes filled with tears as she guessed at the conclusion of the story. "You built her a fountain in the park, didn't you?"

Joe nodded, and plunged his hand into his pocket to retrieve his wallet. He pulled from the worn brown leather a plastic sleeve of photographs, and thrust it towards Stevie. She saw a little blonde girl of three in one picture, taken in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado in the snow. She flipped to the next photograph and saw a little stone drinking fountain at a park, inscribed, This fountain is given in loving memory of Emma Walsh, April 29, 1971 - April 1, 1974. Stevie glanced briefly down at a woman with long dark hair who was also named Stephanie, and then gave the plastic sleeve of pictures back to Joe. He tucked it back into his wallet and returned the wallet to his back pocket.

"Joe?" Stevie's tone was almost soothing as she called his name, willing him to look at her, as his eyes were in his lap again. "Joe, why are you doing this? I know you like to cause a ruckus, but that's just a little hotel room damage, not kidnapping!"

"I just had to find out, Stevie." He took the vial of cocaine out of his pocket again and took one quick hit before stashing it away again. "Do you have any idea what Don still says about you? Or Souther for that matter?" Stevie shook her head. "I've been watching you on this tour, Stevie...and thinking about Henley and what he used to say back when we were up drinking together...he wanted to marry you, you know."

"I know." Stevie wiped the tears from her face. "It wasn't meant to be, Joe...like you and your wife..." She leaned in closer to him and dared, "Like you and me."

Joe took a deep breath in and out. "It was a fucked up idea, wasn't it?"

"Incredibly fucked up."

"Are you sure you don't want any coke, Stevie? I mean, I feel like I owe ya and..."

"I'm pregnant," she said for the second time. "Remember?" The blank look on his face told her that he had little memory of what she'd told him just minutes before. She had gone from terrified to angry, and now there was nothing but pity in her heart for Joe Walsh.

And here I used to think he was kind of cute, she recalled.

"Are you hungry? I can go out and find you something to eat," he offered. "I remember Steph used to eat a lot of fried chicken when she was having Emma...fried chicken and vanilla ice cream." He laughed to himself. "I told her no kid of ours was going to be vanilla because we were too weird, and I bought her rocky road."

"That's not what 'Rocky Mountain Way' is about, is it, Joe?"she teased. She smiled at him. She could afford to smile now. Joe thought about it for a minute and shook his head.

"Nah...I'm not as creative as all that like you," he admitted. "That one came to me when I was home in Colorado, mowing the lawn." With another deep inhale, he stood up, and said, "I'm going to call the car and take you back to your hotel now, Stevie...you should be with Buckingham. He's not quite the asshole I figured him for."

"Oh, he can be," she said, and they both managed a small laugh. "But he's my asshole and I love him."

Joe tossed his hair back out of his face and smiled. "Now who am I to mess with true love like that?"

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