Wraith

Shame

Senna's pov first then Ghost's
Song inspo - Minefield by Nic D
(THIS song is a bop for real go listen to it and everything else by nic d. Also perfect for this chapter )

A few days had gone by, I was trying not to keep count. I didn't need a countdown to the end of me. I knew what I had done had been a mistake when I looked into Simon's eyes before he left. It was too late to take back and it was my pride that had kept myself from telling him what I'd done. I couldn't admit that it had been the wrong move, that I had done it out of anger.

I wasn't perfect, I think we all knew that by now.

Still, I knew they were out there wasting their time because of me. Graves would slip through our fingers instead because of me.

I tried to find out what I could before they would return, so I would have something to offer, anything. But I wasn't the intelligence in this operation. True I knew Graves best, but who he would contact now, what his next move would be I couldn't be sure. Hell he might have just wanted to keep low for a long while and disappear and I had just handed him his opportunity to do just that.

I was sick of myself.

I took my frustration out on Gemma, another shit thing for me to do but she was the one who had come to me willing to get a beating.

I had been surprised when she asked if my offer was still on the table, and while it wasn't exactly what I wanted to be doing with my time, I needed it as much as her. We both needed a distraction, just for different reasons.

She surprised me more when she proved she hadn't been completely useless, which she then explained that it wasn't her first time being trained by someone in the military. Though I imagined I was a bit rougher around the edges than her father had been. I probably expected more too.

I couldn't help it. As a woman I had to be twice as good as the men in my field for anyone to ever look my way, to consider me for the position I now held. Gemma had to learn that too.

We trained after her shifts, on her lunch breaks. She was determined I'd give her that, but she had a long way to go. Training wasn't everything, experience was bigger than that. You had to be put in situations you had never dealt with before or were prepared for to really learn from your mistakes.

I was still learning from mine.

We focused on hand to hand combat mostly and quickening her reflexes. Neither of us would ever be as strong as the men but we could be faster, and more intelligent.

It was a good distraction and outlet. I knew I'd hear about her bruises she'd received from me from Soap eventually but she wanted to keep going. And if anything would make me feel better about myself it was helping her.

We got along well enough, she didn't mind that I was focused on the task at hand and didn't care for small talk. We weren't that comfortable with each other yet but I did like her. She was doing this for herself, sure, but I knew she was also doing it for Johnny and she had my respect for that.

Still, when a pounding came at my door before the sun was even up a few days after the guys had left, I wasn't expecting it to be her.

When we weren't training I was allowing myself to drown my sorrows with a bottle and the loud awakening was doing nothing to cure my hangover.

I was prepared to tell her off when I opened the door but her expression sobered me up real quick.

"Senna, " she started, sounding out of breath, "it's the guys, something happened and Price is hurt."

I stood and stared at her for a second, the ringing in my ears making her words muffled.

I felt like how I did when they told me the news of Sunny, or Gaz. She hadn't said Price was dead but I could tell by the way she said it it wasn't good.