Sheep to be Slaughtered

~Chapter Twenty-Two~

          My dreams were far from peaceful. They were filled with images of the Venge... of mother and Leanna... of Founder Marco and his chilling stare as I stood before him completely bare. The dreams were strange... I felt as if I watched from the clouds as I saw myself live through those nightmares again and again. I saw myself crying... I thought I had been crying too although I watched from afar... the sorrow was devastating and watching it from this distance only reminded me that many had known these unspeakable things had been occurring... but none had stepped in... no one had cared; their devotion to Founder Marco was unshakable.

          I forced my eyes open to stop the bombardment of images that had traumatized me. I let my eyes adjust to the small cave. It was still dark outside. The fire had nearly gone out and I could just Damien curled up and fast asleep from the light that remained. I could no longer ignore the guilt I felt for taking both the blankets as I saw him curled into himself and so close to the fire... I could certainly make do with just one... and he wasn't awake to protest either...

          I smiled softly as I remembered how stubborn he was in his youth... apparently that hadn't changed in the month he had spent out here. It was peculiar... having all these memories resurface that I had thought were all of someone who was dead, only for him to be here before me... and now, I was reliving all those memories in a way when I reflected on them now...

          I rose from my makeshift bed, crouching a bit from how low the top of the cave was. I pulled a blanket with me and approached Damien who did not stir. It really was him... he wasn't dead... he was here with me... and I was so grateful not to be alone. Draping the blanket over him, I took a closer look at the scar upon his face... so deep... it looked as though parts of it were still trying to heal. I bunched the excess of the blankets around him to try to trap in as much warmth as I could.

          Now, his words to me earlier came back. The knowledge that he was Founder Marco's son felt as though it should be alarming... and for a second, I wondered if he could become the same monster his father was... but I immediately silenced the thought. He had saved me and risked his life by doing so... I could see traces of his father in his features... but this was a different man entirely, in both appearance and heart. His features were softer... the waves of his dark brown hair were far different from the straight black hair of his father... again, I smiled as I recalled how much curlier it had been when we were far younger... he had hated it then as Zander and I had often teased him about it... but now, it had grown out into beautiful soft waves. Zander and I had to quit teasing him about it once we all had become young adults.

          I shook my head. He was alive... All this time... No one survived out in the forest. No one survived the Venge. But here he was. Here we both were... and we both believed we'd been blind to the truth up until now. It felt so unreal...

          Damien sighed in his sleep, his body relaxing as he began to warm up. I returned to my blanket and tried my best to roll up inside it. Instantly, I missed the warmth that had come with that second blanket... but this would do. I tried to fall back asleep but the cold bit through the stone floor and through the fur of the blanket just enough that sleep remained out of my reach. I glanced back over at Damien... would it... would it be so wrong to just curl up next to him? For so long, Leanna and I had shared each other's warmth as we fought through the cold winter months... doing the same thing with Damien would be no different... but the heat in my cheeks suggested otherwise.

          For a long while, I fought with myself. I had never slept next to a man... but this was due to the cold, there was no other reason behind this... but why was I getting so flustered by the thought? Exasperated, I flung my blanket back and sat up. Either way, I wasn't falling back asleep without some sort of change. He hadn't stirred a muscle when I had covered him with the second blanket... perhaps he wouldn't stir if I slid up next to him... I could wake up before him and he would never know, and it wouldn't be awkward...