Sheep to be Slaughtered

~Chapter Twenty-Eight~

**** Not necessarily a trigger warning but there are some suggestive themes in this chapter ;) ;) Not a "lemon" necessarily, but maybe a bit of a "lime." ;) ;) Enjoyyyyyyy..... 

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          My stomach still rumbled in protest when we finished eating. We had to save as much as we could and that meant stretching out our supply even now. It was enough though and I had certainly gone to bed with a much emptier stomach in the past...

           I tugged my blanket tighter, doing my best to keep out the cold gusts of wind that drifted into the cave every so often. Both Damien and I had grown silent, the two of us both likely having the same event in mind... Damien continued to tend to the fire, his gaze lazily following each pillar of flame that shifted and twisted before us. The movement of the fire was soothing... hypnotizing even, as its warmth could be felt upon my face. I could feel myself growing more tired by the minute. How wonderful would it be if the fire could make us forget about the atrocious scene we had both witnessed... fire had the power to wipe the earth clean of impurities... to start it over fresh... why could it not do that with the human mind as well?

           "I've been thinking of something you said earlier," Damien said, not looking away from the fire.

           I glanced up to him, waiting for him to continue.

          "When you mentioned I only care about saving myself..." he said as though repeating it pained him. "That wasn't always true..."

           I closed my eyes and exhaled. Of course, it wasn't true... I had been so caught up in the moment, I had said such a terrible thing... and Damien had saved me from the Venge... of course he cared about more than himself...

          "Damien, I'm sorry..." I spoke immediately. "I never should have said that. It's not true at all..."

          "No, no, I think you're more correct than you realize," he interrupted, his brows furrowed as he continued to stare into the fire. "Until you, I really only had myself to look out for..."

          I opened my mouth to speak but he went on.

          "My parents were never my parents... and learning who my father was... well, I stopped caring for a while," he said quietly. "I was so tired of all the lies... I let that bitterness and resentment consume me for a long while..."

           I felt so guilty now... Damien had been through so much. Both of us had been hurt... lied to and wronged... who was I to act as though I was better than him? "Damien..."

           "No, don't apologize again," he said. "I just... just wanted to tell you that I do care. Maybe I didn't for a while... but... I want you to know that I want to get you and Leanna out of this forest. I don't... want to..." he sighed, his jaw clenching and unclenching as he thought through what he was trying to say carefully. "I care about you... and I care about Leanna... not just me."

          I smiled at him softly as he now looked into my eyes. I could practically feel the raw emotions that swam beneath his eye... that created that strained expression on his face... and I knew he did care. I had been wrong to say what I had.

          "I will see that you both get out of this forest," he promised, the sincerity of his tone so powerful and certain that I believed every word he said. "You will see what's beyond the forest and I will take you there myself or die trying to do so."

          "Damien..." I interjected.

          "No, I'm not finished," he said determinedly. "I've spent a long time just thinking about myself... and keeping myself alive and... it was so... isolated and... lonely that I was hardly even living. And it's only been a short while since we've been together but... I remembered what it was like to have someone... someone that cared about me and someone I ... cared for too..."