Enigma Stigma (ONC 2023 Entry)

12.

Constance was used to silence stretching between the two of them, but this had to be the most uncomfortable silence they had shared yet. Beom stared across the picnic table at Constance for a moment after she had spoken before moving to spring to his feet as if he had been struck.

"Beom, where are you going?"

"Why did you keep this from me?" asked Beom as he marched back towards his camper van. "How long have you known you work for my adoptive mother? Were you only being nice to me because of her?"

"No, of course not you dimwit!" said Constance as she got up from the picnic table to try to follow after him. "I knew you before I got to know her."

Beom was about to get into his camper van when Constance caught up to him. She reached out to put a hand on his shoulder to pull him up short.

"Beom..."

He shrugged her grip off his shoulder before whirling around to glare at her.

"Go home and leave me alone!"

"You're acting unreasonable."

"I'm acting unreasonable?!" snapped Beom; a fire in his eyes that she hadn't seen before. "How long have you known she was my adoptive mother and kept it from me?"

"A...a few weeks," answered Constance. "I don't get why you are so upset."

"I have never let anyone in like I've let you in," said Beom, "And to find out that - after I finally confided in you my true feelings about everything - you were hiding this kind of secret from me, hurts."

"I wasn't trying to be deceptive. I just wasn't sure when to bring it up," said Constance lamely.

"Well, you brought it up now," said Beom as he moved to get into the camper van without looking back at her. "Now leave me alone and don't talk to me again."

Constance jumped back when the camper van door slammed shut in front of her face. She stayed still for a moment. Constance wondered if he would eventually simmer down in a few minutes and talk to her again, but that wasn't the case. It was obvious that he felt betrayed, and Constance couldn't help but to hate herself for how the truth came out.

Moving back over to where the food still littered the table, she packed it up the best she could. Putting all the cooked food carefully into one of the bags, she moved to place it outside Beom's camper van door along with his notebook and guitar. There were so many things she wanted to say yet she couldn't bring herself to say any of them at the same time. She knew that nothing she could say at that point in time would change anything anyway.

- - -

The next few days on her way to work, Constance noticed that Beom wasn't on the bus. Every time after work when she went to the location of his camper van, he remained locked inside it. At first all of this deterred and discouraged her, but come day five when things were appearing that they would be the same, Constance found that she had had enough.

"Look, I get that you might be mad at me," said Constance as she stood outside his camper van. "You can still be mad at me if you want to, but I want you to at least listen to what I have to say first. After I say my piece, I promise I'll...I'll leave you alone and you can go back to being the lonely enigma."

Constance paused for a moment to gather her thoughts and make sure she would say the right words before continuing.

"You asked me once what happened to my old job. What happened was that it wasn't what I always thought it would be. I loved teaching - but after a while - it was clear that it wasn't the right fit for me. I was trying to make myself fit into the mold of being a perfect teacher when it wasn't where I belonged. I have always - since I was a little girl - wanted to be a writer. I just was worried that if I were to actually pursue it, I would let those in my life that cared about me down. However, I wasn't happy where I was. I didn't belong so I walked away. Even though it was ultimately my decision to walk away, it didn't mean it was an easy one. I lost so much and felt like I had to start everything over from square one. I was thankful that - during this time - I had my mother. She never once made me question my decisions or made me feel like the odd one out like the world did."

Constance allowed another pause to pass to give Beom time to reflect.

"The reason I bring all this up now is because it's not wrong to stand out or to chase something that will ultimately make you happier in the end. What's wrong is pushing away those people that are in your corner as if they were never there to begin with. Your adoptive mother misses you, Beom. She has never forgotten you for even a second. She keeps cooking those cinnamon muffins you love in the hopes that you will one day return to her. Hate me all you want, but Beom, you need to stop hiding. Who cares if there is a stigma with being an enigma? You should only really care about being yourself."

Constance moved to take a bag of cinnamon muffins out of her messenger bag, lying it outside the camper van door like some sort of peace offering. Constance allowed herself to stay there for a few minutes before walking back the way she had come. She wasn't sure if any of the words she had just told him would resonate with him, but she certainly hoped that they would.

As Constance disappeared from view, the door to the camper van opened. Beom stared in the direction she had obviously walked away in before looking down at the cinnamon muffins bagged on the ground by his feet. He stared at them for a moment before forcing himself to hop down out of the camper van.

The area was deserted like it normally was as Beom walked down towards the dock where the sun was already painting its masterpiece across the rippling surface. He kept walking until he was at the end of the dock, looking down at his semi-fractured reflection in the water.

Even though he hadn't wanted to, he listened to everything Constance had said. His fingers moved to play with the bracelet that he still wore on his wrist. He slipped his fingers about the bracelet before giving it a sharp tug until it snapped free. With the broken bracelet in his grip, he drew his arm back and tossed it into the lake, watching as it disappeared beneath the surface.