Claiming The Hidden Alpha✔️

Chapter 34

  Jerome

I couldn't understand what took over me and as I brought my lips to kiss Erica. I knew that it might have been because I wanted to console her but I also knew that there was no way that could happen. If it was to be because of her crying there was no way I could say I was moved by her tears because we have only kissed once and this is the first time I would be initiating it. It felt like I was in some kind of trance where only she and I exist.

All the worries I had earlier vanished immediately. I couldn't help but be vowed to that. I could feel myself wanting more of her as we kissed slowly and passionately. I knew that this might not have been her intention but I'm ready to make this happen. I knew she might not have wanted to initiate the kiss but I did. She had brought her head up to look at me closely but her lips met mine unexpectedly. I knew that if it wasn't because she had brought her lips to meet mine I wouldn't have kissed her this deeply if it wasn't for that fact that she responded to my kiss.

I could feel my worried expression disintegrate into nothingness and I was filled with nothing more than happiness. I feel happy with the fact that we were still able to kiss even if it might be our last kiss. I knew that I had promised her that I would do all my possible best to win the duel. I knew it won't be easy for me to fight Alphas but I'm willing to try because of her. I will never lose any opportunity I have to be with her.

I broke the kiss after a while feeling guilty. It was as if I have taken advantage of her. I knew that I shouldn't have kissed her because her lips met with mine with accident and I feel like I have take advantage of the moment. I feel guilty for that and I couldn't help but feel the need to apologize for it. After I broke off the kiss all that I haven't think of before start popping into my head. I feel more worried about all that has happened. I knew that it won't be able to ask for her forgiveness since it looks like I have taken advantage of her.

I knew that she wouldn't be happy with all this and I felt more guilt. All I was thinking of earlier is about the duel but now it has changed. I'm thinking of a way to beg for her forgiveness. I don't know what to do or say. I knew that it wouldn't be easy to beg for her forgiveness. I feel like she won't want to be associated with me. I could feel tears threatening to fall from my eyes. I knew I shouldn't have lost control over my body. I was at fault for everything. I knew that I shouldn't have let my emotions or my needs get in the way of my mate and I.

I have a feeling that she was hurt and angry about what I have done. I knew that she would be hurt that she had trusted me but I took her advantage in return. I knew that she wouldn't want to have anything to do with me. I knew that things weren't going to go as planned.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to make you angry or take advantage of you. I don't mean to make you angry, I'm sorry for that kiss. I don't mean to take advantage of you, please don't hate me," I said slowly with my head bowed. I feel scared because since the time I broke the kiss she had been awfully silent. I felt sad that I have made her like this. I regret ever initiating to kiss her. Her silent treatments aren't helping matters either.

Her eyes snapped toward my direction while staring at me with a sad smile on her face. She looked hurt as I stared at her. Her face was contorted into what seemed like hurt. "You don't mean to, is that what you will say after kissing me. I don't know I'm this disgusting to you to say you are taking advantage of me and that it wasn't intentional," she said with a sad look on her face.

She had a sad look on her face and I couldn't help but wonder about what I had said wrong. I don't know what to say nor do right now. I'm confused. I don't know what made her stare at me like this.

"It's not like that Erica, I thought you don't like the way I kissed you, I thought you hated me for taking advantage of you. After our first kiss I wasn't able to take the thoughts of you out of my head. I wasn't myself all this while and now that I have the chance to kiss you, it felt like you don't like the kiss and most especially you were staring at me and I thought that you aren't in support of that. I thought that you would hate me for what I did, I couldn't get you out of my head and seeing how our lips met I couldn't help but take advantage of it," I said hastily as I breathed heavily and she sighed heavily before replying.

"It isn't like that, I was just shocked that you took the lead. I have always thought you won't be able to initiate any of this, I thought you were the sweet and good mate, I don't know you will ever have the courage to kiss me," she said with a pause while taking a deep breath. I couldn't believe what she just said, and I knew that what she said was true.

I don't look like a person who has the guts to kiss his mate or fiance like he wants. I have always been shy and not able to do anything that has to do with romance. I have always wanted to impress Mabel and I have always done all I can. I knew that I had to take the lead as a man but I have been trying to do that. Mabel had been the one who always initiated any of our intimate moments and I was always glad for that. I always feel happy whenever that happens.

"I wasn't disgusted by the kiss nor am I angry, I'm happy that you finally took the lead. Did you know how hard it is for me to think and concentrate on whatever I'm doing after I have kissed you. I knew that it was a good intimate moment which none of us would want to forget but since you didn't take the lead I ha always try to avoid you to make it look like I wasn't desperate, I knew that you might have thought that I'm a cheap person and that's why I had initiated the kiss in the first place," she said and I smiled after hearing what she just said. The truth is that I don't know what got over me today for initiating the kiss but I never feel bad about it. I knew that it was a good thing but seeing the way things were I felt bad for it. If I had known that this is what she has always wanted then I would have tried doing that since.

"You are my first kiss, and I don't regret ever making you my first kiss, am I your first kiss?" she said and I felt my heart stop beating instantly after hearing her question. I don't know how to tell her this but it's a no, Mabel was my first kiss, and even though I haven't had sex with her she have always wanted to have sex with me.

She is a person who have a huge vigour for sex and has always wanted to have with me but I have always find ways to avoid that. I have always find ways to avoid having sex with her. I always told her to make that happen on our wedding night, and she told me that since we are engaged it doesn't matter. I have always wanted to make that happen on our wedding night because I always thought that it was all wrong. I knew that something is going to change our lives soon but I don't expect this to happen. I have always knew that there would be something huge coming on our way and I don't know it's something like this.

"No, you aren't" I said sadly and she sighed heavily before replying.

"Have you ever have sex with Mabel before?" I heard Erica ask and I felt my heart stop beating at the question. I don't know that she would muster up the courage to ask something like this.

"I haven't," I replied honestly and she heaved heavily like some loads were lifted off her head. I was also happy that I also haven't made a mistake like that. I knew that I wouldn't have the guts to lie to her about all this.

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