Deja Vu| Dabihawks Book

Unexpected Battle Part 2

Hawks' POV

I remember when I was little, about 5 years old, I would always cower in the corner when my dad woke up. It was the darkest corner in the house and I thought that maybe, just maybe, if I hid long enough, he would just forget that I existed. I sat there, hours in the day. I knew that he saw me when he woke up. But after he saw me, he wouldn't look at me until I left the spot.

I remembered the feeling of my stomach growling because I refused to move even to eat. I remembered how much I needed to use the bathroom. But I wouldn't. I would only finally move when my mother would drag me out. She was trying to keep quiet so my father wouldn't get mad. This went on every day for about a month. I finally stopped after I realized that it was pointless. My father knew I existed, and that wasn't going to stop anything. Even though he knew I existed, he wasn't going to stop beating me, neglecting me. Everything that he did wrong when he was raising me, he would still do.

It kind of reminded me of that when Endeavor had punched me so hard in the face that it threw me to the ground. I sat there, staring up at him with fear in my eyes. I held my cheek as I pondered why he did it. I listened to what he screamed at me. But I could barely pay attention.

It turned out that he was mad because I left Shigaraki up to him when I tried to save Mirko's life. And because of that, Kurogiri was able to help them escape while Endeavor was distracted with Dabi and Shigaraki.

I couldn't say anything back to him. All I saw while I stared up at him was my father. And all I could feel was the fear I felt when I cowered in that corner, trying to stay hidden from all the demons in my life. I looked around, searching for someone to help me. Someone like my mother. She was always there for me. But she wasn't there. No one was there. Mirko wasn't paying attention. She was getting medical attention in an ambulance. The police officers were helping bystanders. And I was alone.

I looked back up at Endeavor, trying to calm my heart. I reminded myself that we were both pro heroes. This happened because of my negligence. This was my fault and I needed to pay that price. I let go of my cheek and stood up straight, facing Endeavor and hiding my fears as best I could. I put my hands in the pockets of my sweatpants, hoping to hide how much I was shaking.

I looked up at Endeavor, ready to face my fears. "I'm sorry that I was worried about keeping one of the strongest heroes safe. Since Best Jeanist was working on keeping the villains away from bystanders and keeping an eye out, the only others were you and Mirko. What would you have done if Mirko died, huh? What would we have done then?"

Endeavor put a hand on my shoulder and leaned forward, scowling at me. "The way you're talking back reminds me of Touya. And I don't like it."

Before he explained further, he turned and walked away. I didn't know who Touya was, but something about the way he walked away after saying it, told me that he wasn't willing to talk any further about it. Otherwise, I would probably already know.

_________

I had no idea why I was back here at this bar. Part of me wanted to see Dabi again. But the other part of me was hoping that I could just get drunk without seeing him. It would be less of a problem for me.

But I ended up leaving the bar, still feeling disappointed either way. I guess I really wanted to see him. I ignored the feeling, though. Instead, as I flew back to my place, I thought about Endeavor hitting me. Images of my father flashed through my mind, haunting me. Mirko standing there and watching every time it happened reminded me of when my mom just watched.

I tried to shake the thoughts, but even when I got close to it, they came right back. I had to get myself to land before I ended up crashing. I landed on the sidewalk and walked into an alley before sitting down and leaning against the wall. I clutched my heart, trying to get it to slow down. But all I could think about was my father beating me relentlessly. And my father's face slowly changed to Endeavor's face.

Dabi's POV

My surroundings were all darkness. The ground was gone, yet I was still standing. Everything was just a black void. I was alone. I realized that I was sitting down, so I reached down to the ground for support while I stood. My arms weren't scarred. I was a kid.

I looked around again, this time, seeing something. It was a beam of light. I walked toward it, slowly, before speeding up the pace. I was desperate to find any light. Maybe even a person.

I finally got to the source, standing in front of the man silently. It was Shigaraki. He was holding a flashlight lazily. I smiled. "Shigaraki, you found me!"

He scowled at me. "You failed."

I flinched. "What?"

He gripped the flashlight harder, causing his hand to shake. I gulped in fear. "You failed me, Dabi! You aren't useful anymore. Just like you weren't useful to your father. That's why he replaced you."

I felt a sharp pain in my back. My eyes widened as I realized that I had been stabbed. I didn't even have to turn around to know. I just knew. I turned my head slightly, only to see Toga's hair. I looked forward again before falling to my knees, tears escaping my eyes.

I woke up with a start. I had been sleeping in a sitting position against the wall. I was resting my head on my knees in the corner of the base. Toga was talking to Twice, and Shigaraki was conspiring with Kurogiri. The others weren't here. I sighed as I realized that it was just a dream. Even so, I hated it so much.

I glanced at Shigaraki. That look on his face wasn't uncommon. It just wasn't usually directed toward me. But something tells me that it won't always be that way. Someday, if I ever fail, my dream may actually come true. A dream come true. Just not the one that I would prefer.