Your helping hand | Severus x Reader

〔 Chapter 15 , Memories that was left at the dark 〕

Y/N'S POV

  "Y/N.."

    Our eyes stared blankly down the dawn of our own pit as you mumbled my name. We enjoyed the silent gaze but felt like the world stopped.

Us, who appreciates the silence from the solitude as we could only hear our own heartbeats.

  Cliché but it would still feel new for
       others—including the two of us

Turning my head away from your gleaming black eyes, breaking the eye contact that we seemed to enjoy but was too good to be true. He sighed heavily before his unspeakable sudden he was willingly to take the first move that truly made my jaw dropped from surprise.

His hand held mine, our palms pressed against our own as you slowly leaned over to me. His eyes met mine once again, his gaze was attached to my E/C ones and was giving out the most obvious signs of desperate for eye contact, needing my warm crystal clear eyes with your cold dark ones.

”Y/N..i do not wish to make this to end up as awkward and slow but i also do wish you could understand to what i am about to say”

He announced while his grip tightened that felt almost like the bones of my hands were about to dislocate due to his enormous hands compare to mine. His words were hesitant enough to not let him speak along with how his hand was shaking from nervousness when i did not bare for it to be unnoticed. My eyes soften while my fingertips made soft caress on your pale skin as my eyes speaks reassurance. After several of deep breaths, he was ready to whatever he has to confess.

   ”Y/n.. i might.. actually.. love you“

There .. He finally said it, without a doubt, without any hesitation. He said it.
My mouth in a agape shape with absolute shock. The beating of our hearts was loud in each tug. All of the air left my lungs as it remains dry that made me left silent and stoned. I tried to let my voice to speak, but no word was to let out.

”i-i.. well uhm- i-i uh ohm..”

My words stuttered uncontrollably, it wasn't even close to be called as words, just pathetic stutters of mine. Seconds that felt like hours that i thought it would feel magical or romantic but at this kind of situation, it felt like nothing i expected. As minutes flew by, i still hadn't spoke a single word that made dear snape's gaze fall into a worryingly pit hole. His grip loosened as i could feel between the touch of our palms made spaces like a world without a grip.

”But.. it is completely okay to take time, there is no rush for this. I just.. want to let you know how much i cherished your presence throughout this years i had in hogwarts ever since you came into my life”

He said as my thoughts dropped to the ground that instead landed to a distraught professor, his eyes that were normally tired and dead were instead soft with worry.

    Words cannot tell how hard this could be.
I was baffled by his feelings for me but the absolute false timing for this moment was not meant to be. I only discovered my past feelings towards snape, while for snape, he suddenly had the hopes to confess within a snap of a second. Although, it's frustrating for the both of us. I can not bare your hopeless eyes as it lingers desperately for an answer. Our hands were one step closer to falling apart just like patience.

”I appreciate your feelings severus..i-i will think about it.. but i think i need to go back to my office. I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening professor”

And with that...

I left.

Feeling like a coward and a selfish human being that ever existed.

________________________________

   Days went on that felt like internally.
You have been avoiding the hopeless professor, severus snape. Where you would always see him running towards you whenever he sees a chance to talk to you. not like you were doing this to avoid his confession on purpose, no, it's because you were lost, one who doesn't have a clue on what to do with this situation.

Pacing back and forth of the grey tiles of your office, biting the sides of nails as if you are anxious and yet you are.

There's times where you wake up from another unpleasant ringing sound and cold sweats from nightmares of a black figure. There's also times where you find yourself sobbing silently in your sleep, which gave you more deja vu. Those unforgettable memories of your sacred childhood who have ruined you.

A sound of a knock at the door made you flinch.

You rushed through the door and fixed yourself before opening the wooden door.

”Oh.. hey kendrick, what's up?”

Your shoulders relieves as it was the only person you wanted to see, without being at the open corridors. Blackwood stepped inside your office with paperwork on his hands.

”Not much. Just checking in on you”

He asked as he placed the papers on your desk. Raising a eyebrow, your expression was nothing but pure confusion. You asked why in a very visible way of curiosity.

”Honestly Y/N.. i barely see you at the great hall, you never visit me for quidditch and we don't even talk that often anymore! What happened Y/N?”

He explained with a pinch of attitude and complaining in his tone.

Your heart cracked as you heard those words. The weight of shoulders start to get heavy as seconds go.

”My absolute apologies kendrick. It just that its been a busy week for me”

His expression softened as he heard your apology. The both of you stood in silence as it went on.

”You say that as normal but something tells me that, that wasn't the problem”

And that hit you.

You've been keeping severus's confession away from others as you hid it from your own reality and truth.

Moments after blackwood said those reassuring words as he tried to seek the main problem. You spoke mumbling words as tears outburst while you sobbed quietly. The moment you started to sob, blackwood quickly rushed himself to you as he hugged you lightly with your hands covering the falling tears that made blackwood's heart ache from a view of you feeling nothing but sadness as he observed.

”Hey hey.. look at me and listen to me Y/N. Whatever that is making you feel like this, you can tell me. Feelings are meant to be understand and listened. So tell me, what's wrong?”

His advice hits you as senses finally kicked in. It was the wrong decision to hide yourself as you know deep down that you still love the professor, but no, you were stubborn enough to disagree.

”Im sorry kendrick but I am to ashamed from my own actions, so i have to handle this problem alone. But i appreciate your advice i really do”

You said before grabbing his hand and pushed him out of the room without mercy.

—i love cliffhangers ♡♡♡