Try Again | NCT Yuta

018

Seulgi's POV

If one year ago, someone sat me down and told me that Doyoung would be in my kitchen making me a hot chocolate, I would've told them that they were insane.

It was a cold night, so obviously we decided to rug up on the couch and watch some romantic comedies with hot chocolates.

Doyoung continued to amaze me with the amount of patience he had. My situation with Yuta was so complicated and he was just so understanding with everything.

I could talk about it at my own pace whilst getting just the right amount of support from him.

He knew it was no easy game coming into a relationship like this with me, but he decided to dedicate himself to the challenge anyway.

I must admit, I have admired him for this trait for quite a while.

After everything between Yuta and I, I still feel such strong feelings of disdain towards him. What happened between us was my fault.

I should have never pursued him. Especially having known the real reason behind Hyeji breaking up with him.

I failed to see beyond my pathetic childhood crush. I saw an opportunity for us to be together and I just took it.

It was my fault that both Yuta and I ended up being hurt in this situation.

How could I still blame him for it?

How could I blame him for not loving me when I fell for him so hard?

"Where's your head at?" Doyoung's question pulls me out of my thoughts.

"Hm?" I raise my eyebrows, "nowhere interesting."

Doyoung hands me a steaming mug before resuming his seat beside me.

"You were thinking about him again weren't you?"

I hesitate before answering. Spending a moment to look in his direction. I expect to see him looking disappointed in me. Instead, he just seems curious.

"Maybe, I don't know," I reply softly.

"It's okay," Doyoung assures me.

"I was just thinking about it how you're so patient with me when I've fucked up so much. But, even though I know I fucked up with Yuta, I still blame him for all of it. I'm a terrible person, Doyoung, I just don't know what you see in me."

The older sighs gently, extending his arm to wrap around me as he pulls me into his side.

"You're a sweet girl, Seulgi, you always have been," he exclaims. "We all make mistakes in our lives and you are no different then the rest of us in that. At least you can see your wrongs. You may blame him now but I trust that with time and healing, you'll be able to forgive him and move on from that chapter in your life."

Sometimes I hated how he was always right.

"Maybe you should talk to him," he suggests, which catches me off guard.

"I don't think that would be a good idea," I retort immediately, shaking my head profusely.

"It could be good for you guys to try and reach a similar page at least," Doyoung pushes, "especially because of your friendship with Hyeji."

When I still look redundant on the idea, the older male presses a soft kiss to my temple.

"You don't have to become his best friend or anything right now, just aim to be on talking terms at least."

He had a really good point and I hated him for that. He was trying to help me with my issues which is a good thing, but also not what I was fully prepared for.