Try Again | NCT Yuta

016

Hyeji's POV

Hearing the door swing open, I immediately knew who I was about to see. I couldn't slow the tears which streamed down my cheeks as I witnessed my boyfriend rushing towards me.

I notice his worried expression fading into one of relief as he notices that I am awake. He leans over the side of the bed and kisses my forehead softly before taking a step backward.

"What happened? Are you okay?" He bombards me with questions, most simply fly over my head as I just maintain eye contact with him. "I'm so sorry I let you leave, I don't know what happened with me but I accept it and we will work through this together. I love you and we will be great parents."

His hand brushes against my own, an attempt to take it yet I pull away, resting the hand across my abdomen. My gaze flickers to where it sits for a brief moment as I muster yet another burst of courage before facing him again.

"You don't have to worry about that anymore" I can't mask the bitter tones with which I speak.

"The baby's dead Yuta."

"W-What?" The break in his voice tears my heart even more as I watch him start to crumble. Tears immediately rise to the surface of his eyes, lip quivering a he takes a seat in the chair beside my bed, not able to stand any longer.

"I was way too nauseous considering that I was barely a week pregnant. The doctors told me that it seems as though the child was created dead. It never lived, not even for the smallest moment. I had a miscarriage on the street, Yuta. My body has been struggling to keep going after losing so much. That's why I collapsed."

I explain to him, knowing all too well that I'll have to repeat this all again as if he were anything like I were, all the news at first went through one ear and out the other.

The doctors had to explain around four times before I was present enough in able to process the information being presented.

"What did I do wrong?" His next question should stop me from what I say next. But the overwhelming amount of anger which resides within me can't be contained at this point.

"What did you do wrong?" I scoff, causing for his broken gaze to move up to meet my own.

Had today occurred differently, there was nothing that I wanted more other than to hold onto him and cry over and over again.

"The time that I needed you the most, you weren't there. You hesitated with every phrase you spoke let alone the fact that you had to keep asking about the supposed methods of birth control which I was taking. I needed you to hold me and tell me that we would figure it out together, yet instead you let me leave alone. It wasn't until I was in a hospital bed that you panicked enough to come and tell me what I wanted to hear. May I add that I had to resort to the person who stabbed my brother for comfort? Regarding the miscarriage, none of it was your fault. Regarding what I'm about to say, is entirely your fault."

I'd struck a nerve. Mentioning his friend seemed to awaken anger of his own. Shaking his head in disbelief, he doesn't say anything, waiting for me to continue.

"I need you to contact Seulgi and get her here. After today, I really need to consider how much you truly love me. I really need to consider, Yuta, if it was a good idea for us to get back together."

"Hyeji ah" Yuta snaps, moving to be on the edge of his seat. "I am sorry beyond belief for my actions today. I fucked up, I really did. But today of all days, we need each other. Whether you want to accept it or not, it was also my child who was lost. So forgive me if I don't want to leave you right now."

"If you want to have even the slightest chance of us working out, you best call Seulgi and leave. Mourn with Jungwoo for all I care" I want to retract all the words which I just allowed to leave my mouth.