𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥,𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤~𝔪𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔬 𝔯𝔦𝔡𝔡𝔩𝔢

•𝑗𝑜𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑒•

I sit in my room, my mind running wild as I can't seem to get the thought of that night at the party out of my head.

I knew I had to sleep but every time I try the memory comes running back in my mind making it extremely difficult to doze off.

Thought echoes loudly in my brain making it hard to focus and I have had enough. I jolt up quickly getting out of bed and pulling a robe over my pajamas. I walk over to my locked door, quickly unlocking it and slipping into the dark hallway.

I walk as fast as I can to the astronomy tower desperately to feel the cold fresh air on my skin and breathing it in to unleash the suffocation in my lungs.

I walk up the scrawny dark stairs case with a pace reaching the top of it, quickly finding my way to the window too taking a deep breath in.

The wind was flowing through my hair as I lean into the ledge feeling the cold breeze blowing against my skin.

All the stress and anxiety seems to withdraw from my body.My mind clears as I breathe in the fresh air.

"It's you again, how interesting."I hear a deep voice behind me and I almost recognize it immediately.

"Yeah what a surprise."I say sarcastically as I turn to face Mattheo.

"What brings you here."He asks curiously making his way toward the balcony next to me.

"Can't sleep what about you."I say unbothered as I turn to face him.

"Came for a smoke."He says grabbing a pack of weed and a lighter from his pocket.

"Do you smoke every day?"I ask curiously watching him lighting the weed and bring it to his mouth.

"Yeah pretty much."He says exhaling as smoke lingers the surrounding air around us.

"I'm surprised you're not dead or on a shit ton of meds."I say my brows raising looking down to the ground.

"That makes two of us."He says from beside me.

"I'm glad you noticed you're slowly killing yourself."I say looking back up at him while placing a hand on my chest sarcastically.

He just rolls his eyes letting out a slight chuckle, continued smoking the cigarettes.

"Hey why can't you sleep anyway."He says as he pulls the cigarette out from his lips.

"I'm going to go see my parents tomorrow and it is going to be the end of me I swear."I say dragging my hands down my face in annoyance.

"How come."He asks confused.

"My little princess of a sister will make it hell and to be honest ill even be surprised if they will recognize me it's been like 8 months since I have seen them" I rant of as I shrug my shoulders.

Mattheo stays quiet but I notice he's still looking at me and it makes me wonder if I maybe made the situation awkward for venting to him.

"Shit I'm sorry for unloading all that on u it's really not your problem and besides you're not my therapist all tho I definitely need on-."I quickly say apologetically but I suddenly got cut off by him.

"You're good I don't mind, so don't tear yourself up about it ok."He says bringing the cigarettes to his mouth.

"Yeah your right I just can't stop thinking about it and it's constantly devouring me."I say annoyed.

"I also got a lot of worry so my best suggestion is weed and alcohol."He says gesturing to the cigarettes in his hand.

"Wait that actually helps."I ask confused looking at the cigarettes in his and observing it.