Stay with me, let's just breathe (Eddie Vedder FanFic) | Completed

Chapter 6 - Passion

I didn't even had time to breath. What was he doing? He looked so worried, and now this? All of the sudden this passion, love and despair?
He started pushing me against the walls, still kissing me. I couldn't breath. My cheek touched the corner of his eye. Tears.
-Why are you crying Eddie? - I said, as I was trying to push away to see him.
He didn't answered me , he just grabbed me harder as he was guiding me through the house into his room. I didn't know what this was for, I couldn't tell why all of the sudden he made Stone drive me to his house for him to look at me with a sad and worried face and now to be kissing me, harder as ever. We got to his room and he smacked the door as we entered. The music as loud here but I still could hear his deep breathing. I was still petrified by not knowing what was going on, but he was stronger than me, so I couldn't pull away. In fact I don't know if I wanted to, I just wished to know why he was doing that. Suddenly, he stopped.
He stared at my eyes, and just whispered "I love you Cassandra". I was still looking at him, both of us breathing deeply. My breathing stopped for a while, and my eyes stood open. He said that looking so deep into me, he said that like it was the only thing that he had for guaranteed. That was the first that a guy ever said that he loved me... and it was the first time that Eddie said it to me... Was it true? Did he loved me? Rock stars don't have girlfriends. I had to keep telling myself that. But the way he said it...
-Eddie, wh... - I tried to say but his lips fell on mine once again and this time I didn't even foght back, so I just let myself go. He grabbed my head with such strength, such passion, such desire to have me. He pushed me against the bed and I fell with him there.
And so it began, the most confusing afternoon since I have ever met him. Such passion, such sadness, such desire. I din't know what was this about, all of the sudden but liked it. I was worried about the raw and breathless kisses, but I liked it. It was like he wanted me so much that breathing was not important anymore. I didn't knew this side of him. This desperate side of him. The side where Eddie Vedder is actually not in control of everything, he just let's himself go and does unexplainable things. Like asking Stone to drive me to his house and out of nowhere doing this to me. I was getting to know sides of him that I never knew before. Is this what love feels like? Is this what loving someone feels like? This curiosity and admiration towards someone you want to be yours? Is this what love is? This weird feeling that makes you both happy and worried?

I pulled back all of the sudden and I heard both of us breathing heavily. I look to him sweating and I realized the sun was going down and that it was going to be dark soon. I wanted to say all this things that were running through my head but I couldn't find the words. I didn't know what to say that would show how I felt about him. So I was just staring at him, his hair falling to my face, his eyes on mine and both of us without saying a word.
-What's the matter? - He asked, touching my face. I wanted to tell him so badly, but I didn't know how. The words didn't want to come out of my mouth, I couldn't talk. - You are so precious - He whispered in my ear as I closed my eyes, and let the both of us fall into each others bodies.

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My thoughts started to come back to me as my hearing was getting more aware of what was going on . I was waking up. My body rolled over in the sheets and I searched for a comfortable position, but the bed was too cold, and a window seemed to be open because I could sense the wind making the room uncomfortable. I spent quite a bit just with my eyes closed and my shoulders getting really cold because I was too sleepy to move, but finally I decided to open my eyes and to sit on the bed. "SHIT" - I thought to myself as I saw in which house I was at: Eddie's, not mine. I looked around but I didn't saw him. The air was cold, and just as I though one of the three large windows in Eddie's bedroom was open. I got up and closed it, locking at the entrance and seeing Stone's car parked there. "Is Stone around?" - I thought to myself again.
I made my way to the door and as I stepped out of the room I felt my feet freezing as I walked on the cold corridor floor. I walked through some rooms searching for Eddie but he wasn't anywhere to be seen. He was with Stone maybe. I continued to walk down the hall, and made my way to the kitchen. He wasn't there as well. Now I was seriously worried. I walked down to the balcony and as I was zipping up a jacket I found in Eddie's room, I saw him. He didn't seem to notice that I was around, so I took a moment to admire him. He seemed so calm, so in control of everything again. I felt that in a way I would never be a part of his world, he was the kind of guy that is so mysterious that you feel like you will never know him completely. The cold Seatle wind bloowed harder and I sneezed. He looked at me all of the sudden.
-Oh, good morning Cassie - he said, approaching me - Didn't saw you there - he looked at me getting close to my body and grabbing my waist, whispering - I'm glad you are here with me.
-Good morning - I said smilling at him. He put his arm around me and I hugged his waist. It felt so good to be near him. We stayed there for a while just staring at the sky, until he said:
-You know, last night, Stone booked us a gig - he smiled.
- What! Thats's great ! - I jumped - I'm going to be at the first row, screaming for all of you! - I said laughing.
- I hope you do so! You are my girl after all, and I want my girl at every gig from now on.
I entered "heart atack territory". I was his girl? Was I really? I wanted to be but what about the other girls that he was with before me? Weren't they his girls as well? So many questions again that I didn't had an answer for, but I just thought that I wasn't going to care about that for now, he said I was his girl and I was in cloud nine.
-Did I said something? - Eddie asked. I looked at him smiling like a fool and kissed him. I was so happy to hear that. He smiled into the kiss and hugged me in the end.
- So where is the gig? - I asked.
- At the same bar were we meet.
-Good memories - I said taking his hand and walking back to the house - Is that why Stone's car is here? He came to practice or somehing? - I asked as I walked to the kitchen.
- Stone's car is here ? Where? - Eddie said surprised.
- At your front door, where he usually is, didn't you know? Isn't he where ?
- No, the only person I saw today was you Cassie - Eddie said as he got out of the kitchen, probably to check if the car was there. When he got back he was giggling - Cassandra, you are a very funny girl!
- I'm funny?
- Yes, you made me go outside again just to se nothing, you tricked me quite well! - He kissed my check.
- The car was not there!? - I asked confused.
- No, it wasn't - he smiled as he started to make breakfast.
- But I saw it when I woke up!
- No, it's not there - he smiled.
I got up and run to the entrance. I looked at the window and the car wasn't there. Was he gone? Wasn't the car there at the first place? No, it was there, I saw it. Then what happened? I was over thinking the situation, and I decided to get back to the kitchen and eat my breakfast, I was probably still dreaming when I saw Stone's car...

I spent the morning at Eddie's place and I stayed there until the band arived to practice for the gig. They were all exited but still nervous because that was going to be a proper concert, something big, something that if it was done well it could be their change to make it into the music industry. Eddie asked me to stay to see them but I could tell that he was nervous and I preferred to go home and let them to their thing alone am focussed. Eddie drove me back to my place before the rehearsal, and just when I was getting out of the car, he took my hand and said, smilling at me :
- Thanks for spending the night, and the morning... Well, thanks for the company.
- I guess even future rock stars feel lonely sometimes - I winked.
He smiled and placed his hand on my check:
- I will come here to pick you up at about 9 p.m. is that ok? We have to be there early to do a sound check and to set our things up.
-Yes, it's fine. I will be waiting - I said before kissind him and getting out of the car.
-One more thing! Bring Patrick and your brother if you want! - He screamed from the car.
I turned around and screamed "I will!" right before entering my house.

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"JOE I'M HERE!" - I screamed hoping that my brother would hear me. I walked up the stairs really loudly and knocked on his door, but the music was so loud that I couldn't even hear myself knocking. I screamed again "JOE!" but nothing. I tried to open the door but it was locked. That meant that he was with a girl. I walk down the wall and entered my room, lightly closing the door and laying on the bed, looking at the ceiling. I was so amazed by Pearl Jam. They were going to make it, I knew that. They were going to amaze everyone, and one day they would have someone knocking on their door and offering them a contract. That made me smile without even noticing. I was genuinely happy for all of them. It was their dream, and they were getting there.
I heard someone whispering " Cass" outside my door, so I said "Yes" and saw the door open, reveling Patrick.
- So you are home again. Can I seat here? - he asked, pointing at the bed.
- Yes of course, sorry about the mess - I looked at the room and smiled awkwardly.
- No it's fine really - he smiled at me - The girl that is with Joe, is she his girlfriend or something?
"I knew it" - I thought to myself.
- Is she blond, short hair, brown eyes and a bit skinny ? - I asked, thinking about the girl that dunped him a few days ago.
- No, she was her hair dyed bright red and is really curvy, and don't really know what colour are her eyes - He answered, trying to remember. "Typical Joe" - I thought to myself again.
- Well, in that case no, it's just some girl he felt like banging - I answered, getting up and opening the window.
- Does he do that very often? - Patrick asked.
- Switching girls? Oh you have no idea! Joe is a magnet! - I laughed.
He laughed as well, and then I remembered:
- Eddie and the band are going to do a gig today, you feel like going? I'm going to invite Joe as well when that girl stops moaning and he turns down the music.
- Today? Yeah sure! Wow, they are going concerts now? - He asked all surprised.
- It seems like it, they are all so nervous it's adorable! - I said getting up and leaning against my bedroom wall - Eddie is going to pick me up so if you want you can go with us or with Joe, when ever he is finished with the redhead over there.
I had just shut my mouth when I see Joe entering the room in his underwear, his chest all sweaty, his hair in a big mess and hugging a short girl with bright red hair, also in her underwear, screaming and laughing: "WHERE ARE WE GOING TONIGHT KIDS!?"

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written in 2015
rewritten in 14/12/2017