Stay with me, let's just breathe (Eddie Vedder FanFic) | Completed

Chapter 2 - Party

  A couple of drinks after and some hours passed by I found myself sitting in a small green sofa. I never was the kind of party girl but at that moment getting drunk was definitely an option. I stared at a couple making out by the kitchen table and remembered one time when I entered my house and started hearing moans coming from the kitchen. When I got there my brother was banging some weird girl with two piercings on her nose. It was kind of a funny scene, but I was young, something about 14 or 15 and until that time I had never caught my brother doing such a thing. Right now, I've lost count of the times that I caught my brother doing something similar, it's surprisingly common nowadays, so I just close my eyes, whisper "sorry" and slowly walked away. My brother is a handsome man with his dark hair, good bone structured face, bright almond eyes and childish smile, so it's no wonder that girls go crazy over him. It didn't bother me, I only wished he kept them for more that one night or so because lots of them were actually really pretty and the ones I got the chance to speak to not just look at and whisper "sorry" were also really nice to hang out with.
- Are you having fun Cass? - Asked Stone. No, I was not. Besides being bored and getting drunk by myself, having a swollen nose and feeling beaten as fuck, I was hell off drunk, so I was getting upset and wanted to start fights with everyone. - Cass? You ok? - Stone asked. "At least Stone was still around..." - I rolled my eyes looking at the other side of the room, my eyes scanning through the crowded house. I didn't even knew half of the people that were there, the only guys I knew were Eddie who was pissing me off, Stone who was trying to lighten up my mood but failing miserably, and Mike the guitarist from their band. He was a funny and outgoing guy, and he was also really sensitive despite his first appearance. I liked being around him just because he was funny enough to make the whole room cry with laughter. He was now pissed drunk and had two girls hitting on him. Two hot girls the lucky bastard. The last time I saw him he was by the stairs kissing the blond one.
- Yeah, I'm ok - I said finally.
- You don't look ok... - Said Stone.
- I am. - I looked at him, bored.
- Is it because Eddie hasn't stopped messing around with random girls? - He asked, sitting in one of the sofa's arms and making a Godfather pose.
- Why do you say that? - I asked, backing out a bit.
- I have eyes, Cass... - He said, lifting his eyebrows much more then I could ever try to.
- Well, you're wrong - I said while looking at the other corner of the room, again watching the couple making out in the kitchen table.
Stone was going to say something as I felt his mouth open in my ear, but out of nowhere, I heard Eddie's voice singing softly in my other ear.
- Hey... - He whispered. I could tell he was drunk. I couldn't help but think that he was a bit funny when drunk.
- What's up? - I said. He looked good although his eyes were strangling to keep open. He must have been drinking the entire time, lucky him.
- I was right... - Stone giggled, also sounding drunk but getting up and lighting a cigarette.
- Shut up. - I answered with disregard.
- Right about what? ... - Eddie said with a grin towards me.
- Fuck off, Eddie. - I walked away, struggling to walk in a straight line, oops. My drunk rage was starting, I always get pissy when I drink.
I didn't know where I was going I realized after getting up. I walked up the stairs finding myself in a corridor. I started opening random doors to see if I could find a bathroom and maybe be there until the morning came. It sounded like a great idea. I just wanted to be left alone, I didn't even wanted to go to this so-called party. Getting drunk all by myself wasn't fun, and watching Eddie going around random girls wasn't fun either. I could admit I was jealous.
The first door was a bedroom.
The second door was a bedroom too, but this one was not empty, which made me do what I did with my brother and his girls: close my eyes, whisper "sorry" and walk away.
The third door was a bathroom. Not so bad.
I looked around and got in. My head was spinning a lot more than I thought when I was with the guys. I was there for four or five minutes and then someone knocked on the door loudly and out of nowhere:
- Cassie!? You there!? - Said someone. The alcohol as getting in my head and I didn't bother to try and recognize the voice.
- Fuck off! - I screamed.
- It's Eddie. - Said the voice softly.
- Still: FUCK OFF! - I screamed again.
- Come on... open the door, let's talk... - He said. His voice was one of my weaknesses.
Against my full will, I struggled to get up, took a deep breath and opened the door. Not just because of his voice, but because I was drunk too and I wanted human contact.
He was trying to keep himself standing by grabbing the door frame. I wasn't so good myself so I leaned and rested my head in the door frame as well.
- Good to see your pretty face Cass! - Eddie giggled at me. I let out a small smile and asked him as I entered the bathroom with him, closing the door:
- What's up with you?
Walking towards the end of the bathroom I sat on the floor, with my back against the bathtub. He also sat on the floor, in the middle of the bathroom, and looked at me, still giggling from the alcohol:
- I'm great, this bathroom is great, the music is great, the company is great! And you? - He looked at the ceiling, laughing.
I tried to hold back my laughter.
- Drunk too much, now I'm in the bathroom, you know the feeling right?
- I came to see you - he said, now looking at me.
- Well, I didn't come to see you - I said, now looking to the ceiling again.
- Why are you like that? - he asked, moving closer to me.
- Like what?
- Cassie, I'm drunk, not blind - he said.
- You must be, for you to hit on all of those amazing girls - I teased, looking straight at him.
He didn't say anything; he just looked at me with his eyes on mine. His face was closer to mine that I expected. Alcohol is a funny thing. He kept moving closer, looking at my lips.
- We are not going to kiss - I said, with my cold voice and looking the other way, trying not to smile due to the alcohol.
- Why not?! - He said, disappointed, in face getting more distant now.
- Because I don't want to.
- Yes, you do! You want this more than I do! And believe me, I really want this! - He said looking at me again and making a serious face.
- What? And you say that based on what? - I asked genuinely surprised.
- On everything! Your eyes, your face, your actions, EVERYTHING!
- You're so dumb, Eddie...
- What? Why?
- Because of everything! Your eyes, your face, your actions, EVERYTHING! - I said - But in particular, because of that day, at the concert...
- What? You're still mad because of that? I've told you a million times: It WASN'T ME!
- Oh, yeah? So who was it? Me? Did I blame myself? - I said, turning to him angry.
- Cassie, listen! IT WASN'T ME! I SWEAR! Why can't you believe what I'm saying?
- Because I heard the cops saying that was you!
- Cassie, you were stoned and drunk, how can you be sure? - He asked, getting closer to me.
- I was stoned and drunk, not blind and deaf!
- Cassie, IT WASN'T ME! - He said again - Listen... - He was going to say, but I interrupted him:
- No, YOU listen! I remember perfectly: I was really excited because it was going to be your the first gig that I was going to be able to see, and I didn't care if it was in a small pub. I saw you and Mike before getting on the stage, so I said: "Good luck, kick them in the balls". Both of you got on stage and the concert began, all of you were awesome! Yes, I drank and smoked a little too much, but I still remember why it ended earlier: someone screamed "FIRE!" and all went crazy: I remember getting pushed away and then you screamed my name. I went outside, I saw the cops, and I heard "It was her!" and the cops arrested me, and took me to the police station. While I was there, I fell asleep I think, but when I woke up I heard the cops saying "If the so-called singer says that he saw her do it, then it must be her, right?", so now tell me it wasn't you?
He took a while to answer, because he was looking at nowhere, with a really sad face and a blank expression:
- You forgot one thing...
- Eddie, I've told you: I remember perfectly what happened, I fully remember every single thing that happened that night... - I started to say, but he interrupted me:
- We kissed.
I panicked inside. Oh, yes we did, and I forgot to mention it. Fuck, it was that same night. Why did that pass me by?
- Alright, I... - he didn't let me finish, he got closer.
- Now you listen: I know you want me as bad as I want you, you can't lie to me anymore. We kissed, right after you said: "Good Luck, kick them in the balls" - Our noses were barely touching - We kissed and I can't deny that it felt like fire, I was electrified. When I woke up from that you looked at me right in the eyes and said "Now go" with that beautiful smile of yours. And let me tell you something: for those 10 seconds that the kiss lasted, I just focused on you, I was truly happy with you in my arms - He was completely hypnotizing me with his voice - And I want to feel like that again - Our noses were touching now - Do you want that? Oh say yes please... - He finished softly, almost whispering to me.

It's not that I didn't want it (because God, I really wanted to), it was just that... He was a challenge. I liked challenges, but he was a different kind of challenge. He was a challenge that you know it's going to go wrong, like climbing for the first time to a really tall tree, or learning how to ride a bike for the first time. It's not that I don't want to learn how to ride a bike; it's just that I know that I'm going to fall to the ground for trying. But on the other side, he just amazed me: he had that I-don't-care-what-I-look-like appearance, that honest and truthfully voice, and that hole atmosphere when we are alone is real, so why not? Why not forget about all the times that I'm going to fall off the bike, and just put my foot on the treadle and just go with it?
And I did.
It didn't feel wrong at all, it felt right. For the first time in weeks, I felt that I was doing something right. Our lips touched, and my whole body lit up. He bit my bottom lip as he was asking for entrance and I let him in. In seconds he was on top of me, kissing me passionately. I stopped for a bit to catch my breath, and he said, whispered in my ear: "I wanted to do this to you, for so long..."
We started kissing again, and his hand reached for my tights, grabbing them strongly. I tacked off his t-shirt, and he tacked of mine. I was feeling like this was meant to happen, it wasn't wrong, it felt right. Everything was so right, he was kissing me so hard, I was sweating, he was sweating, I wanted to be there for the rest of my life. The alcohol was making everything feel faster and more intense. He ran his hands throw my back, still kissing me passionately. He moved to my chest, then moved a bit southern... He was enjoying this as much as I was...
My breath was getting heavy, and when he reached for my belly, he stopped, looked at me, and I could see that he was the same Eddie that I saw when we kissed for the first time in the concert. He got back up again, only teasing me. I got on top of him and took the lead. His hands ran through my back again, reaching for my... "Oh God... I should have done this sooner...". That tiny bathroom was getting hot. And both of us were getting hotter than the bathroom. He got on top of me again wanting to have the lead again and smiling. He grabbed both of my hands, and immobilized me, by putting them next to my head. Normally a bathroom floor isn't the best place to lay down in, but at that point, we couldn't care less.
We didn't start kissing again, we just stayed there looking into each other's eyes. Time stood still. It was like we were talking just by thoughts. He approached me slower. He stopped.
- Please - I said, quietly.
He was still looking into my eyes.
-What? - He asked.
A second went by.
- Keep going - I answered, pulling him to me.
And he did. He smiled and kissed me softly. He let my hands move, and I put my hand around his neck. He held me close and kissed my cheek: "Thank you" - he whispered. Five minutes went by, and I was feeling more and more devoted to him. He was holding me by my waist and I was praying for that night not to have an end. I was feeling his skin, close to mine. I kissed his neck biting it softly, and he breathed heavily. He reached my bra, but as soon as he tackled off the opening part...

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The door smacked.
- SHIIIT! - I screamed alarmed by the noise.
- HOLY CRAP... WHAT TH... - Eddie started saying, but he stopped when he saw...
- ALRIGHT... - said Stone, eyes opened like never before.
Eddie leaned against the wall to cover me.
- I swear that I didn't know that you two here... Oh my god... I'm so sorry... I di...
- Fuck Stone... - Eddie said, looking at me, with a grin but trying to the least drunk thing possible.
- I'm just gonna... hmm... out... go out... - Said Stone, before leaving and closing the door, giggling.
He breathed heavily, I did too. He stepped back and looked at me. I didn't knew what to do so I just tried to clip my bra back on, but it took me a while since I was drunk and alarmed. I stepped forward, towards him. He held my hands and got closer.
- I... - I tried to say, but he put his arms around my neck and hugged me real tight. We let ourselves fall softly into to floor and just stayed there, hugging each other, both sweating. After a while, because we were both without any shirts, and it was starting to get cold I started shaking, and Eddie looked into my eyes like he was going to kiss me again. Instead, he looked around, but he couldn't find my t-shirt for me to put on, so he grabbed his shirt and put it around me, then kissed my forehead, and hugged me again, making me fell asleep in his arms, making the alcohol drift me away.  

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written in 2014
rewritten in 11/12/2017
rewritten again in 15/07/2018