kanej - "You shouldn't make friends with crows."

1

!! picture above isnt drawn by me, credits to the artist!!

1075 words

in kaz's perspective

-

Inej was perched on the sill of his attic window, feeding the crows that congregated on the roof. 

"You shouldn't make friends with crows," he told her.

"Why not?" she asked.

He looked u from his desk to answer, but whatever he was about to say had vanished on his tongue. The sun was out for once, and Inej turned her face to it. Her eyes were shut, her oil-black lashes fanned over her cheeks. The harbour wind lifted her dark hair, and for a moment Kaz was a boy again, sure that there was magic in this world. He looked back down onto his papers.

"Why not?" she repeated, eyes stil closed. He said the first thing that popped into his head.

 "They don't have any manners."

"Neither do you, Kaz."

She laughed, and if he could have bottled the sound and got drunk on it every night, he would have. It terrified him. He looked back down onto his paper. Suddenly, the beautiful noise stopped and another one emerged from the window sill. A loud, unwelcome, gut wrenching noise soon followed by a thud, the noise you hear when one collapses after a fight, the sound of a body going limp. . Kaz jerked his head up. Inej was still in the same position, her eyes still shut, looking unusually relaxed. But this time, the crows had disappeared and her beautiful bronze skin was slowly being covered by a deep crimson red. It didn't take him long to realise what had happened. Fear rose inside him. He found himself in the water again, drowning, and there was nobody to save him. No kaz thought, Not again.  He didn't waste any time waiting.

He shot up from his wooden chair and ran to her, completely ignoring the pain in his leg. It was still there, but in a moment like this, where the one person you would trust with your life is losing theirs, there isn't anything to think about except that. Inej's mouth lay open, the blood spreading to her neck. The water rose, he couldn't breathe. Kaz turned her slightly to her side, placing his hands above her heart, frantically searching for a sign of life, a pulse. He listened carefully, not letting the water reach his ears, and under all of the panic and blood, he felt a silent beat. He held his breath. Get help something in him said, Before it's too late.

Kaz could see her eyes struggling to open, and a sudden rush of hope and energy rushed over him. Rapidly he slid his gloved hands under her and picked her up with an ease. Kaz ran downstairs to the front door, and made his way to the house of the white rose. The door swung open- the boy at the desk greeting him and then realising the girl in his arms. He looked worried, scared almost, unsure whether the man in a black fedora, black suit and multiple scars on his face had done this to her or if she was in danger. Of course, Kaz noticed this fear. 

"What did you do to her?" he asked.

"Nothing." kaz replied.

He would never do anything to harm inej, ever. Not if his life depended on it.

The boy saw kaz staring, rage in his eyes, looking like a rabid animal. The boy glanced at the door. 

"Will you open it?!" Kaz snarled.

"Y-yes, apologies." he quickly waddled to the door leading to the hallway and unlocked it. 

He was being too nice to him. Its what Inej would do, he thought. She'd done so much for him, this was the least he could do. But it was getting too late and even if she did survive, she would spend atleast a week in bed. Kaz ran down the hallway, panting, wanting to give up. He was doing this for her. He stopped at the panels behind the potted tree. He ran his fingers along them, desperately clinging on to inej. The water rose again, and he was sure that that was its limit as he pressed his thumb into a notch in the wall. The door slid open and revealed a staff-only staircase which he sprinted up, holding on so tightly that if he applied any more pressure, she would get permanent scarring.

 Finally, after what felt like forever, he arrived on the third floor and kicked the door open. He couldn't care less if Nina was busy with a client, but luckily she wasn't. "Nina." he spat out. She seemed to know what was happening almost immediately and cleared her little couch in the corner, but it was perfect for Inej. He gently placed her onto it and almost collapsed from pain and panic, grabbing onto a chair. 

Nina knelt down and immediately started trying to heal her. Panic overcame him and the water was at its limit. Every limb in his body was starting to give up and he almost threw up. Not because he just ran from the crow club to the house of the white rose, or because he left his cane in his room, or because he had to touch somebody. 

Because of the fear that whatever happens to his wraith, his girl, Inej - was not up to him and there was nothing he could do to prevent it. I will find whoever did this to her, he swore, and i will watch their lives fall apart and murder everybody they love. There was no point tho- Inej was dying and there was nobody to blame but him. He was the one who took her as his spider, he was the one who approached her at the Menagerie, he was the one who gave her these crazy tasks. She had a choice, but anybody in their right mind would've chosen to stay with Tante Heleen rather than become a criminal. So why was she different? What was it about this girl that made his heart flutter, that made him want to bottle up her laugh and get drunk on it, that made him mess up his words? Why out of all the gangs in Ketterdam, did she choose his? Why did she choose him? What's the point of being a scary, feared and strong barrel king, if my girl isn't there to watch me? he asked himself. 

His thoughts were broken up by the loudness of a quiet room, and a stare from Nina he could have sensed from a different country. "I'm sorry, Kaz." she muttered. No.. it can't be. He knelt down next to Nina and stared at Inej's face. The water that was crashing at him wildly was silencing down and all hope was lost. He took his glove off and held Inej's hand in his. Kaz brought his mouth near her ears and whispered just so quietly enough that Nina couldn't hear the words he'd only known the true value of now.

"I'm sorry i couldn't protect you."

That was it.

Kaz Brekker didn't have a reason anymore.