To Live Past 20

Chapter 1} Who made me into who I am

t.w. (substance abuse, abuse, trauma)

"You could have everything in the palm of your hands if you just got out of your head"

Those simple but effective words hit me hard. It felt as though i had never received what i had always been gnawing for.

My life was destined to be a big mess since the day i was brought into this cruel world.

My names Adrian Hellington. I was born during a blizzard in the middle of a city unknown to many people. I knew i attracted bad things when my mother told me the first day out of the hospital since i was born her and my father got into a car accident. My parents named me after the town they met it, very iconic i know don't gotta tell me.

My father...I don't know much about that man anymore. He was an abusive drug user who always seemed to be on the run. He kidnapped me twice as a kid and kept me from my mother for months. Although as a kid i admired him despite the things i saw him do and the hatred everyone portrayed towards him. He beat my older brothers and my mom before i was even born, i guess i really do attract the bad luck.

I don't see him anymore. I made a ripe decision at the age of only 4 to never see him again, i was put fully in my moms responsibility. A still standing restraining order confirms this.

My mother...My Mother was all i had at times. She was a giver and a healer always there when i was down and knew how to solve my problems. Raising 4 kids partially on her own was a struggle and i could see how much it affected her. Although i had a pretty bad upbringing courtesy of mostly my father she was there to fill the holes i so deeply wanted to hide. My mother developed an addiction which caused us to lose a few years. From 8 to 15 i was left with my grandparents while she fought her undisclosed battle.

My grandparents...My grandparents took me and my oldest brother in when my mother was struggling. My two other siblings went with their dads, even though my oldest brother could've chosen to leave me too he didn't. I can't say living with my grandparents was always a blast but they made sure to give me the childhood i had lost due to the unfortunate circumstances. I was always close with my grandpa, from watching basketball to late night math quizzes. My grandma on the other hand..i always felt like a burden to her. While living with them i started therapy but stopped because i was only 10 having to relive the terrible trauma i was put through. I can't count how many times i stayed up late nights sobbing on my pillow wishing things would get better or questioning if i would make it to see tomorrow. No child should ever have to feel like that. My brother was there for me, he saw my struggles. Him and I had to endure seeing the downside of the addiction in old houses with no electricity, we shared the feeling of carrying that burden. When he graduated in 2019 it felt like he forgot about everything and was able to move past it while i was stuck replaying every moment in my head.

My siblings... My siblings and i were always close. I always found it weird when people would say they hated their sibling because even though mine got on my nerves i still couldn't deny the amount of love i had for them. I have two older brothers Lee and Joseph, I also i have a younger sister Brielle. There's a 5 year age gap between my oldest brother and a 4 year age gap between me and my sister. Leaving me 1 of 2 middle kids which fit me pretty well.

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This is basically the intro into the story, if you skimmed through it and understood you should be fine to understand the most part, feel free to come back and read again if you forget! I'll try to make reminders as to who the people are once in a while.
THANK YOU FOR READING🩷