Kissing in Cars

Chapter 12

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry," Chris says sincerely as we sat on the edge of the roof. The roof had become the only place at school where we could get away and be to ourselves. It was Tuesday, I had just told him the reason for skipping school the previous day and ignoring all his texts. It was about midnight Monday morning when it finally hit that my dad was not coming back, ever. I guess it hadn't really set in until it was the middle of the night and I didn't hear the sound of his car pulling up and the closing of the door and the heavy thump of his work boots as he trudged up the stairs. When it was painfully quiet except for the sound of Ben's heavy breaths next to me in my bed, that's when I started to break down. He wasn't coming back. My mom was no where to be found. Apparently she stormed out right after he left but I didn't really care. After the move here she was hardly a mother to me at all. I guess a part of me blamed myself for that. I figured she'd decided I was a failure for not being able to handle my old school and hated me for it. But that didn't matter because I always had my dad to count on. She didn't matter. She still doesn't matter. What's going to happen to us now, I wasn't sure. Everything was just so fucked and right when life was starting to be okay. But that's just how the world worked I suppose.

"It's not your fault," I said, "they haven't exactly been the most loving parents lately."

After a thoughtful pause, Chris said "It's crazy how things change in a year, huh?"
I nodded. The sad truth was that hardly anything stays the same after a while. Things change. For better or for worse. Whether you want it to happen or not. The world keeps turning and you just have to deal.

"Well, don't do that again," Chris said. I looked at him.

"Do what?"

"Go off the grid like that on me. I know you're going through shit but I was worried sick about you yesterday. Whenever you wanna go into isolation or something just let me know, but you can't just leave me hanging."

"You're right," I said grabbing his hand, "I'm sorry."

He laced his fingers with mine. "So..... are you still up for going to the carnival? If not that's completely fine I was just wondering since well tickets go on sale today and I was planning on getting them but-"

"Of course I still want to go," I said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it'll be exactly what I need, a fun, light hearted time out to get my mind off things." I said and he smiled. What I really needed, though, was time with someone I loved, who loved me, and who I was certain I could trust. I needed to trust him. Him and Benny were the only two people I had left.

"Okay," he said with a hint of excitement in his voice.

"Okay," I whispered, leaning in closer to him until my lips lightly grazed his. He sighed then leaned forward, closing the gap. It was insane how perfectly his lips felt on mine. It felt like to waves crashing into each other in perfect sync until they melted into one.

We sat there for the rest of our lunch period, a steady pattern of talking and kissing. I never wanted it to end. He was so sweet and kind to me it was hard to believe he also was the most feared kid in school. Eventually, however, the bell rang, ending our perfect moment and forcing us back into reality. We both groaned, simultaneously, then began to collect our things.

Chris sighed. "After you," he said, holding open the door. We held hands all the way down the flight of stairs and didn't let go until we got to the door leading to one of the hallways. Before opening it, Chris spun me around and pushed me against it. I slid my hands around his neck, bringing him close.

"You can go first," he said, "I'm late to my classes anyway."

I smirked. "I'll miss you," I said, kissing him.