buddie oneshots

break for you, baby

⚠️ IF U GOT A NOTIF OF AN UPDATE, I JUST CHANGED THE TITLE/SONG FOR THIS. NO NEW UPDATE SORRY ⚠️

PSA: this one's going to my ao3 soon & i might add more parts there

k enjoy 🫶
(ao3 is crispy_bo)

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SUMMARY:
eddie's spiraling y'all. this whole "she sees me" bullshit is fucking him up (relatable). and through his spiral he discovers new found flavor to his identity.

so here's an eddie pov loosely inspired by this song (i just liked listening to it while writing this)

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chapter song(s):

break by Alex G 

chewing cotton wool by the japanese house

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Everywhere. He's everywhere.

No matter where I look, or where I hide, or where I'm drowning out my thoughts in this cheap bottle of wine– on the kitchen floor– he's there. And I'm tired of it.

He's been lingering in the back of mind since the cemetery.

"I feel like she sees me."

Then what do I see? I don't blame him, though. Clearly I never made it obvious enough, never showed him that I see him in ways no one else does;

sitting on my couch with his arm around my son who's perfectly molded into his side, and the look in Buck's eyes as he gazes down at Christopher;

the slight worry across his face every time the ladder shakes as it's extended from the truck or when Maddie doesn't pick up her phone the first time;

his hastiness in making sure Chris and I were okay after Christopher panically called him to come save me from myself.

He's different now. We're different. Something's changed, in him, in me, in us. I don't think I'm ready to face that yet, though.

So I stay put, on the cold tiles, holding an almost empty bottle of red wine with a million thoughts jumbling through my mind.

Christopher is staying at Abuela's for the night thankfully.

My shifts' this week have been hell– Buck is always right there. I've tried not to make it obvious that I can sense something's off but it's hard not to.

I eye the heavy bottle in my hand. Maybe I am being dumb and reckless but at this point in time, that doesn't matter.

My whole life I've followed the rules, done what a man's supposed to do. I made a family. But it never felt right, not really.

Shannon knew it, I knew, hell I'm sure even Christopher knew it at the time. I kept pushing, though, because I was where I was supposed to be. Look how that worked out for me.

No one told me I could do different. That it was okay to do different.

My phone rings on the counter above me, so I reach up and feel around until it's in my hand. With another large gulp from the green bottle, I press answer, not bothering to see who it is. Anyone to distract me would be greatly appreciated right now.

"Hello?" I answer, the words echoing into the bottle.

"I hear chris is away tonight, does that mean you're lonely and need some company?"