Tubbo's pov:
Dinner came faster than expected.When Y/n came in my room they stayed there until dinner was ready.We talked and he helped me overcome my urges for now.We exited the room and saw Tommy there staring at the ground.I couldn't bare to see him so i walked past him and down the stairs.I take a seat at the kitchen counter being kinda scared to eat.I haven't eaten in about a week and if i eat now then i'll lose all my progress.Once we were all seated at the kitchen counter Phil had handed us dinner that he made with Kristin over FaceTime.I wonder if she knows about what had happened.We start eating dinner which was steak And potato's i felt the urge to throw up just looking at it.It looked good i just need a moment
Wilbur:Hey its okay take your time
He rubbed my back as I picked up a potato.I twirled my fork around to get a good look at the food
This probably has so much calories
I eat it anyway and i keep it down.I eat a couple more small potatoes and a a few bites of steak before i felt it.The taste of saliva and thickness in my mouth.I got up and ran to the bathroom puking.I stayed there for a good few minutes as someone came in.They rubbed my back and hummed some soft songs to calm me down.It worked but i had to cry.I couldn't stop the tears coming down my cheeks or my choked sobs that made my throat hurt.
Wilbur:Its all gonna be Okay Tubbo
I hugged him and tightly too.We stayed like that til i had pulled away
Tubbo:i'm sorry i-
Wilbur:its not your fault.Your clearly mentally unstable but we're gonna help you
Tubbo:i don't want help
Wilbur:Why not
I can't tell him.I don't want him to end up like Tommy.I don't want to ignore Tommy i truly don't but i don't want to put all my problems on him.He has enough problems with his parents and stress with streaming i would just be making it worse
Tubbo:No
Wilbur:what do you mean No can you express more
Tubbo:i said NO!
I stormed out.Great i think i just ruined another one of my friendships.I went back to the counter and grabbed my phone before going back up the stairs and into my room.Locking the door i looked around my room for anything
Tubbo:Come on surely i have something-here we are
I found in the depths of my desk i found another blade but the sharper one i had.Perfect.I grabbed everything i need to ensure that i don't need to go back to the hospital which includes bandages,paper towels,and an extra change of clothes preferably pj's so i could go straight to bed before they question me.I start to roll up my sleeves as i sat on the floor so if i got to dizzy then i'll be in a place where i don't pass out.I removes the bandages from the hospital and see the mess i've made of myself.Its only motivating me to harm myself more.Since there was no more room on that arm i went to my exposed leg.I'm thankful that i wore shorts as pj's.I cut and i cut and i cut and i cut.1 3 5 7 9 11 cuts before i move to my other thigh. I do the same process.1 3 5 7 9 11 13 15 cuts before i start to feel lightheaded.I wanted more.I needed more.I went to my other arm rolling up my sleeves before counting again.1 3 5 7 9 11 13 15 17 19 21 cuts then i stopped.I put the blade away in a drawer near by and dropped my legs from their sitting position as well as my arm.I felt numb and paralyzed.I couldn't move it hurts so bad.
Knock knock knock
Wilbur:Tubbo its me you know the rule of the locked door
Tubbo:w-Wilbur it hu-h-hurts
I whispered.He heard me though because as soon as i said that he started to try and open the door.I lifted my good arm and threw a shoe at the knob and it unlocked the door.Wilbur barges in and his eyes widen.I look down and blood is staining the hard wood floor as it stains my hands and arms as well.He rushed by my side
Tubbo:W-Wilbur i'm so-sorry
Wilbur:How much did you cut
Tubbo:I coun-ed
I was slurring.I didn't care though.A step closer to death.That what i want is to die
Wilbur:Tubbo how much did you count
Tubbo:11 on thigh one,thigh one,th-thigh on-
I felt weaker
Wilbur:No Tubbo listen to my voice stay with me.11 cuts on thigh one what about your left thigh,thigh two
Tubbo:ummmMmmM 15 cutes on thigh twooooO
Wilbur:okay now your right arm
I look down at my right arm.Counting once again because i had forgotten
Tubbo:21 i just recounted
Wilbur:Okay good job for counting and telling me.How long were you bleeding for before i came
Tubbo:like i donmr know 5 minUteS maybe mORee-
Wilbur:shit
Tubbo:is that bade-
Wilbur:Everything is fine Tubbo-PHIL GET IN HERE
Tubbo:NoOoOooOoooO i don't want Phil i want chuuuou
Wilbur:he can help you with your cuts
Tubbo:No!
Wilbur:what about Puffy she's a nurse and a Therapist i can call her?
Tubbo:Yesss i love PufFy-
He picks up his phone and calls Puffy.he's talking with her now
Tubbo:Wilbur i tire-
Wilbur:Stay awake for me bud it'll only be a little
Tubbo:i tryss too
I wait.
Wilbur:She's just around the corner Tubbo stay awake its gonna be okay
Tubbo:EhhhhH?
I'm confused and tired.I'm fine
Puffy:Phil let me in I'm here now and holy shot okay(i meant to put shot)
Phil:whats going on Puffy?-Tubbo!
I heard Phil and also a discord Notification on my pc which was next to me.
Phil:Ranboo not the time
Tubbo:Haiiaii RAnboO
Ranboo:Is Tubbo drunk?
Phil:No wait one sec-Tubbo can i tell him everything?
Tubbo:Suore
Ranboo:Phil what's going on is everything okay your worrying me!?
Phil:Yesterday we found out that Tubbo self harms and we went to the Hospital they put him on medication but today Wilbur found Tubbo in his room bleeding and so he called Puffy because she's a nurse!
Ranboo:What!That's it i'm flying over i'll be there tonight latest is midnight no need to pick me up from the airport
Phil:Ranboo no-
I'm guessing he hung up.
Tubbo:Woah the stars look so preeeetyy tonigjt
I look up and see stars.They look beautiful
Puffy:how many cuts did he do
Wilbur:he told me 11 on his right thigh 15 on his left thigh and 21 on his right arm
Phil:Jesus christ thats it i'm looking through his room
Tubbo:NoooOoooo donooon't
Wilbur:Its okay Tubbo just calm down
I sit there for a moment.I'm tired
Tubbo:Night night Wilby
Wilbur:No tubbo don't
I didn't listen.I closed my eyes finally getting the rest i wanted
YOU ARE READING
"Hey Vlognation"
FanfictionBrotherinnnit is Tommyinnits camera man,although the internet has never knew he existed that all changed when Tommy asked him to be in his vlog one day.You were reluctant about going but soon found out was that being in that vlog was the best decisi...
