It's Ineffable, Darling [AU]

1: Hypotheticals

Crowley

He was okay with hypotheticals.

Some were interesting to think about, at times. But he very much despised a hypothetical that didn't involve him kissing his angel whenever he felt like it. Atleast, that was his rational train of thought the majority of the time. At the moment, he was drink off his arse.

"Oh Crowley, but think-"

The demon groaned in protest. "You can't seriously be asking me to think right now. I can't even bloody count how many bottles I've had!" He was sent into a fit of giggles- but instantly covered his mouth before his angel could note it. That only happened when he was incredibly drunk, and with Aziraphale. Still- he was pretty sure he still had some dignity left.

But Crowley's response received annoyed, incoherent mumbling.

He groaned, adjusting and moving even closer to him. "Angel, do you want me to sober up? 'Cause I will."

Like many of their evenings after the Armageddon- not, the two beings found themselves in the bookshop, though this time- they were also quite drunk. Very drunk. Aziraphale's usual perfect posture was growing slightly less perfect by ea h passing moment, but that was probably the last thing on his mind. His demonic counterpart possessed most of the couch, slender legs resting on an armrest and head on his Angel's lap. The two of them were more than comfortable.

Slurring, Aziraphale continued what he had brought up a few minutes prior. "Wha-" He hiccupped. "Pardon-"

"You're pardoned." The demon sneered.

"Crowley, what if you had met some other angel? Backkkk in Eden?"

The thought alone was almost enough to sober up the demon. "Not possible. You're the only angel I could tolerate. And either way, I would've found you eventually, it's ineffable darling."

Aziraphale blinked. "Ineffable?"

"Ineffable." He confirmed. The word, ofcourse, didn't make exact sense at the moment- but the both of them were too drunk to notice. But it just sounded right to Crowley, anyway. The demon considered Aziraphale's train of thought. "Another angel? One who hadn't given away his bloody sword?"

The angel chuckled uncontrollably.

Crowley actually entertained the thought. "I suppose it would be a very different world. Actually- there likely wouldn't even be a world."

"We didn't contribute greatly to the Armageddon..." Aziraphale seemed to have sobered up- a little, atleast.

"Not. Armageddon-not."

"We are not settling on that name." He argued briskly. "Anyway, it was all Adam's doing. The fact that he chose right over- well, that he chose to be neutral."

"Yeah." He scoffed. "The antichrist changed his destiny. I was there, you know. I remember, Angel."

His angel ignored this. "And thank earth he did. It's... Terrifying, isn't it? How easily we could've never became friends, or worse yet- even have met."

"Never woulda kissed you." The demon smirked.

"I'm serious." Regardless, he smiled.

He shrugged glumly. "Guess we would have met. On the battlefield."

Aziraphale frowned. "I suppose."

"But let's not think of that." Crowley said quickly, wanting only to void his angel of his sadness. "That didn't happen and will never happen, we're here now, and we're here to stay."

"Yes." His beloved smiled, cupping his face with pure joy in his eyes.

He lifted his glass. "To us, my Angel."

The angel smiled gently. "To us."

...
Music; Until I found you, Stephen Sanchez