My stupid heart (Gemini and Fourth)

worthy of my love

FOURTH'S POV

We had decided to go to the beach that day. No one was more excited than Gemini, he kept telling me about all the activities he wanted to try. He said he wanted to do waterboarding, surfing a bit and maybe parasailing. I just smiled and nodded as we prepared  our things.

"Don't forget sunscreen." He said as he applied some sunscreen on my cheeks. "Mmh" I replied. "Cheer up we are going to the beach, it's going to be fun." He said as he wrapped his arms around my waist and gave me multiple sniff kisses in return making me giggle.

"Okay lovebirds let's go." Mark said as he peeked through our bedroom door. "Okay let's go." I said trying to escape Gemini's grasp. He held me tighter and said "Just one last kiss na'." I looked at him and shook my head. "Na na na,just one." He said pouting. Seeing his adorable sulking face I couldn't help but kiss him. "Now that you got your kiss can we go?" I asked him and he nodded.

The beach was just a 10minute walk away from Prom's beach house so we didn't take the cars and decided to walk and enjoy the scenery. Gemini and I were walking hand in hand, Winny gave Satang a piggyback ride. Prom and Captain were chasing each other. Surprisingly Mark and Ford were holding hands with their fingers intertwined, and they have the nerve to say nothing is going on.

When we reached our destination Ford, Prom and I decided to lay down and sunbathe whereas Mark, Gemini and Captain were rushing off to go Jet skiing. I laid down after applying sunscreen and noticed Ford was applying sunscreen to Prom. I slowly closed my eyes and drifted into a sweet slumber.

After I don't know how many minutes I heard Captain and Mark's voice, but no Gemini's. I lifted my head and looked around but still no Gemini. "Where's Gem?" I asked no one in particular. "He is out parasailing. Gem is insane." Captain replied. "I don't know where he gets the energy from, if I didn't dare escape from him I would probably have died from exhaustion." Mark added.

As Mark and Captain continued to tell the others about their crazy activities and how Mark almost died my mind drifted off. That feeling I have been trying to avoid since this morning came. The hollow haunting feeling deep in my gut that came when I thought about Gem. It wasn't jealousy or possessiveness it was more insecurity.

I saw a video of Gemini and his high school friends hanging out and it made this haunting feeling in my gut. For a second I saw how incredible Gemini is, his accomplishments from a young age until now are incredible. Now hearing from our friends how unreal he is was kind of reaffirming that feeling, the feeling of unworthiness. 

"There's Gem!" I heard Prom yell out distracting me from my thoughts, I looked towards the direction he was pointing. And there he was, my Gemini. He looked incredible even at a far distance. He possesed the kind of beauty that would put Adonis to shame. A smile crept at the corners of my lips watching him walk towards us.

The smile was wiped away when I saw a beautiful young woman walk towards him. I saw them talking, he laughed a bit and she was giggling and twirling her hair. The sight was nauseating to watch. I took a deep breath in and out trying to calm myself. "I am not jealous, I am not possessive" I whispered to myself massaging my temples.

"Are you okay?" Ford asked as he was the one sitting a few spaces away from me. I nodded while my gaze was fixated on Gemini and the girl he was talking to, they were now walking towards us. The closer they got, the more I could see more of her features. She had a cute button nose, pouty pink lips beautiful hazel green eyes and pinkish fair skin. She was perfect, she and Gemini looked good together.

My once raging jealousy turned into a numb feeling of insecurity.  The closer they came the more the emotional turmoil inside me got worse. I could feel tears brimming in my eyes and I clenched my fists. I think I had also stopped breathing, I held my breath in a way to hold my tears from falling. I was insecure about my place in Gemini's life and I felt unworthy to be considered an important part of it.