My stupid heart (Gemini and Fourth)

The uncertainty

It's been 2 months since Gemini proposed to Fourth. They have been extremely busy, attending international fanmeets and also individual projects not to add the school work that they had. To top it all their families were so immersed in wedding planning that everything was just so overwhelming for Fourth.

Fourth has always been a person that plans things carefully to the last detail. However lately he has been taken in by Gemini's spontaneous nature. He has been doing things without planning them or thinking them through, for instance getting married at such a young age.

They haven't gone into details on what's going to happen after the wedding. Are they going to continue living in Gemini's condo or are they going to get a place together? Are they going to start having a joint banking account like married couples do? Are they going to be married in community of property or are they going to have a prenuptial agreement? All these things were things that Fourth kept pondering over, but didn't tell Gemini about them.

Knowing that the wedding ceremony in Thailand will take place in less than 2 months made everything way too real for Fourth. He was overwhelmed, he wasn't in the right state of mind. He wasn't coping, but he couldn't talk to anyone about it. Usually he would talk to his bestfriend and that would make him feel better, yet he can't do that this time because his bestfriend is the one overwhelming him.

How do you tell someone who has given you his heart, has been nothing but supportive and loving to you that you're scared of getting married to him? It's not like Fourth didn't want to marry Gemini, he was just scared. He was scared that they might be rushing into things. They were each other's first. First kiss, first love and first intimate partners. What if someday Gemini fell out of love with him, what if he wanted to explore more. What if he wanted to be in a heterosexual relationship?

Fourth was consumed by negative thoughts and it was not only taking a toll on his mental health but on his body. He didn't eat as much anymore, barely got any sleep, he had lost interest in doing things he normally used to enjoy. Refused invites to hangout from his friends but would always encourage Gemini to go. Gemini needed to go out and have fun, explore the world before he committed himself to him fully.

It was one of those days where Fourth refused an invite to go bowling with their friends, saying he had to meet with his sister. An excuse he made up, he was infact going home to try and get some sleep. Gemini found it strange because Fourth didn't mention anything to him but shrugged it off when Fourth assured him that he will be waiting for him at their condo. Gemini saw the minor changes in Fourth, he was worried but he figured Fourth will talk to him when he is ready. They were bestfriends before they were lovers.

Fourth was mindlessly scrolling on his phone lying on the couch alone in the condo. It has become a norm nowadays, usually Fourth would read a book because he always wanted to gain new knowledge and improve himself but these days reading wasn't enjoyable anymore. He promised Gemini that he would eat something but he hadn't eaten anything since breakfast. He got so used to not eating that he didn't feel the hunger anymore.

The door opened leaving him startled a bit. He was sure Gemini was with Mark and the others bowling. So who could that be? Maybe Lisa came back from London because she was the other person who had the spare key of their condo. He made his way to the kitchen in hopes to see Lisa but was met with Gemini holding a bouquet of sunflowers and a plastic pack with food boxes.

Gemini had hurried home shortly after Fourth left. He first went to buy food, all salads Fourth's favorite. Even though he hated vegetables he was willing to eat them for him. He bought dessert and Fourth's favorite flowers. He just wanted to his baby genuinely smile again. The gummy smile that turned his eyes crescent. He wanted his baby happy.