Colliding hearts-Eren x Levi, Jean x Mikasa

Chapter 15: You're Screwed

(Jean's p.o.v)

"Look on the bright side; at least you've got a date to prom!"

I laughed bitterly at Marco's attempt to cheer me up. Marco was always great at getting me to crack a smile when I felt like crap but today there was nothing he could do. Literally nothing.

"Not 'a date'. Two dates" 

I buried my face in my hands and closed my eyes, trying to stop the world from spinning all around me; the whole coffee shop a blur of bright colors and smiling faces. It was torture. All I wanted to do was crawl into my bed and turn of all the lights. Lie there in the dark and think about what to do. Or not think. About what I was going to say to Mikasa...

"What about you and Ymir?"I groaned through my fingers, desperately trying to switch the attention onto something else. 

"Ymir?" Marco snorted. "No way. I'm doing the lights at prom so I wont have time to bring anyone. Anyway; I might just tag along with you and your date."

"At least that would make things less awkward."

I'd had everything planned out. Id already got my tux and even rented a limo; there goes my college fund. And I had planned how I was going to ask Mikasa. And now I couldn't...

"Um Jean..."

"Marco, man, can you just give me a minute so I can work out what the hell I'm going to say to Mikasa!" I snapped

"Jean-"

"She's gonna be so mad... What if she dumps me!?"

"Jean!"

That voice... Not Marco's. 

It was unmistakably that voice... 

Oh shit...

I reluctantly drew my hands away from my face and forced myself to not bite my lip in fear. 

"Hi Mikasa."

She stood beside Marco, who tried to look casual; sipping from his coffee and keeping his eyes on the floor. It was unfair how beautiful she looked. Her glossy ebony hair, framing her face and matching her thick dark eyelashes. Her eyelashes that shaded her eyes of zircon. Her lips... now drawn thin in an unmistakable annoyed expression. I felt my stomach go tight as I wished I didn't have to tell her this now.

"You said you were busy." 

"I was." I said pathetically.

She raised an eyebrow.

"I was... talking to Marco about prom." 

I wish I'd just kept my mouth shut. I wish I'd bit my tongue and just told her straight. Because as soon as I said the word prom, her eyes had lit up and I saw her mask of sadness slip, revealing a sliver of happiness. Happiness, that I was just about to destroy. 

"Prom?" Mikasa asked, a tone of hope in her voice that made my heart tug.

"Yes."

I looked down at the wooden table, sticky with coffee mug rings. In that fraction of a second, of which I could savor me and Mikasa being together, I placed my sweaty palms down on the wood and decided to just get it over and done with. Do it quick, but gently.

"I'm going with Crysta." 

There's nothing I wanted more than to stay staring at the pattern of the wood, but I felt a pull to look in her eyes again; just to pain myself. So I did.

Her face was a web of confusion and disappointment but overall despair.

"What?" She asked quietly.

"I have to go with Crysta. I didn't know, but her mom and my mom have always planned it; since we were kids. They're best friends and they've always wanted their kids to go to prom together. I tried to tell her that I'm with you and all I want is to go with you, but she wont listen. Look, I'm really sorry."

My mind went blank, I couldn't think of anything else to say.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

"Why do you have to do what your mum wants?" She asked.

I didn't want to say it. I didn't want to look so pathetic in front of her. But I had to tell her.

"Look, my moms threatening to send me off to live with my dad. He left last year and he now lives in London. If I leave, I'll never see you or anyone else. I have to stay here. Even if that means doing whatever she asks."

Mikasa stared right at me. Or rather; through me.

All I wanted was to make her happy. And I'd failed at that.

"I'm so so sorry." I said in a small voice. 

She nodded slightly, but I could see how much this hurt her. 

"I want to go with you more than anyone." 

She nodded again. 

Marco slowly got up and walked over to where Armin was sitting. He glanced over at me, with a pained expression and then mouthed the words "You're screwed."

Gee, thanks Marco. Not that I already knew that. How could Mikasa ever want to stay with me if I couldn't go to prom with her or even stand up to my mom!?

Armin's face was almost comical, and I would have laughed if it had been any other situation. He looked so confused. Mikasa was close to tears. And so was I. And Marco was just watching. Behind Mikasa I watched him whisper in Armin's ear to explain what was going on. Armin's face twisted and my chest clenched as I realized that he had wanted to go with Crysta. Nice work, Jean. You've screwed over two people now in five minutes. Great. Mikasa began to say something, but I couldn't hear her. I just heard the chime of a small bell and I saw Levi walking out of the coffee shop, behind her.

What's he doing here?

"Jean, are you even listening?" Mikasa asked, her voice catching. 

"Yes!" I said, snapping back to reality and meeting her eyes again.

"I said, I'm going. And I hope you have fun with Crysta." Her words had no emotion behind them. There was no sarcasm. Or real meaning. Just hollowness that made it so much worse.

And so I watched, speechless, as the girl I loved waved curtly goodbye to Armin and walked away, out of Costa. I tried hard to push it out of my mind, but I knew I had caught a glimpse of a tear down her cheek. 

Marco came and sat beside me again, looking sheepish. As if he wanted to pretend he hadn't just seen this happen. He looked at me and said sadly.

"Your taking this rather well."

I banged my fist down hard on the table, making him jump and a few people turn their heads.

GODDAMMIT, JEAN.