Colliding hearts-Eren x Levi, Jean x Mikasa

Chapter 21 - Prom part 2/3 - Deja Vu

(Mikasa's p.o.v)

I trailed one finger along one of the white trees' slender, outstretched branches. Beneath our feet, fake snow crunched, realistically. We walked in silence, through the small forest. Until every inch of the outside world was concealed with white fingers, holding us in their palms, preciously. And we reached a dead end. Well, not quite dead. Just a wooden bench, dusted with powdered glitter. I couldn't help smiling, remembering out first kiss, on a simple, park bench. The same night, Eren was stabbed. The same night; he had his first kiss with Levi. That terrible, weird, and beautifully messed up night.

Jean gestured with his hand, for me to sit on the bench.

Nonchalantly, I sat; palms either side of me, legs crossed. He sat down beside me, leaning forward, elbows resting on his thighs. The unbearable silence continued. For about thirty seconds. And then he said;

"I don't know how to start this."

"You've had enough time to think about it." I heard myself saying.

He sat up straight, taking a deep breath in, and turning to look me in the eye. His caramel iris's shining under the bright lights.

"We haven't spoken in weeks."

"No, we haven't."

"Are you mad at me? Because you have every right-"

"Look Jean, you lied to me, and even though it was over such a small stupid thing it showed me that you don't trust me. And then you took another girl to prom. I'm not mad. I'm just hurt."

My words pierced through him like an icicle and we were both silent for a minute; unable to find words to say to each other. But the connection we had always had was still there. Just fainter.

"I'm sorry. I regret lying to you more than anything, and I never meant to hurt you."

I thought for a moment, trying to think fast and make a decision instead of dragging this out any longer.

"Tell me what you're feeling right now." I said.

"What?"

"Tell me what's in your heart. And tell me the truth. Don't sugarcoat anything. Tell me, straight."

More silence. Sharp silence. And I thought he would never break it when he said;

"I can't even tell you how much I miss you."

I felt my heart thud and I looked down at my nails, gently picking at them.

"I really mean it. You mean more to me than anyone. Anything. I would do anything for you. And I know I screwed up. Really bad. But I can promise you now, that I will never treat you like that again. I'll never take you for granted. You don't deserve that."

"I need to know you're being honest. That this isn't just some bullshit speech from a rom-com." I said, coldly. I was trying desperately to act calm and cool but I knew in my heart that he was now being honest.

"I know it sound cliche. But this is the truth. I owe you at least that." Jean replied, slowly.

He paused, his brow creased slightly, as he turned his head back and looked down at his hands.

"You deserve better. Than me. I don't know how I got lucky enough to get a girl like you. I'll never know why you ever chose me. But being with you.... was the best thing that's ever happened to me. And... I.... I'm not asking for you to take me back. But I would never be able to forgive myself if I didn't tell you how much I love you tonight."

My lips slowly parted and I felt the pain begin to fill my eyes with tears. I hung my head, and blinked them away. Then met his gaze again, with a wan expression as I tried to hold in all the emotions that were swirling inside of me like snowflakes in a blizzard.

His gaze was intense, as if his eyes could see right through the blizzard. And I held my breath, waiting for him to break the silence between us. And he did. He shattered it like ice. And with his next words, I felt the warmth begin to return.

"Mikasa Ackerman, I am in love with you.

You are the most

complicated

strong

intelligent

radiant

enchanting

goodhearted

fascinating-"

Before he could say another word, I pressed my lips against his, softly.

The forest melted like frost around us as I let my tears come. They rolled down my cheeks, and onto his. The moment was so slow. And quiet. But perfect.

He reached his hand up and gently placed it at the back of my head, and kissed me back; slowly. His lips were soft and warm, and a calm feeling of security washed over my body like the sun's rays.

I wasn't cold anymore.

The color came flooding to my cheeks in a scarlet blush, as our lips gently broke apart. But we still remained close.

".... And most amazing person I've ever met." He finished, breathlessly.

I smiled, lifting my arms up to cup his face.

"I love you too." I said. And his lips began to smile.

"Are you getting deja vu right now?" He asked.

I laughed, remembering that night when we first said we loved each other. But this time was even better. Because I now knew how real this love was. Our real love in a fake forest.

Jean tilted my face up a little to his. "You're crying." He said, concerned.

"Thank god I wore waterproof mascara." I grinned, gingerly wiping away the wet trails down my cheeks.

"Are my eyes red?" I asked Jean, turning my face closer to his and giving him a wide-eyed expression.

"No. They as beautiful as they have always been." And he gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.

The song 'The dog days are over' by Florence + The Machine started playing and I heard the students cheering from the dance floor. I couldn't resist smiling.

"I love this song." I admitted to him.

"Want to dance?" He asked, a shine in his eyes.

"Yes." I grinned.

Jean stood up, and offered his hand to me. I took it carefully and stood up. We stood together, hand in hand; before turning back to forest path. And then we were running. The white trees were just a blue around me, the thousands of lanterns hanging from every branch dancing like stars over my vision. We reached the edge, and stepped out; back into the blizzard. But I wasn't afraid or worried anymore. Together, we stepped out onto the polished dance floor and I instantly twirled around and around, my dress fluttering around me. Many of the students turned and stared as I stopped and took Jean's hand again and we began to dance.

I've never really liked dancing, I always felt self conscious. But now,

standing in a ball gown,

under a shimmering disco ball

with the boy I love

I now understood why people did it.

And it felt so amazing. An electric buzz. A current running through my body.

I'd never felt more alive.