Colliding hearts-Eren x Levi, Jean x Mikasa

Chapter 16: Why don't we go together?

(Eren's p.o.v)

I sank back into the couch pillows and balanced my laptop on my knees, then switched on to Netflix and scrolled lazily through the feed. Next to me was a mug full of cold americano coffee; of which I had barely touched. It tasted too much like Levi's lips. Only his were sweeter. Despite how many times I told myself that I hated him; for being a coward and choosing other people's stupid opinions over me; the thought that constantly whirled around my head was how his lips felt on mine. And how I had to feel it again; even if its just one more time. It felt as though I was drugged. And I hated myself for it. For being so needy and for being addicted to him. After what he did.

I didn't hate him. I hated myself.

I heard soft footsteps behind me and turned my head to see Mikasa heading towards me with two mugs in her hands. She was dressed in grey sweatpants and a light pink crop top, with her black hair a little tousled. 

"You haven't touched your coffee." She commented, sitting beside me.

"I'm not thirsty."

I kept my eyes dull and on the screen, hoping Mikasa wouldn't see the pain in my eyes.

I'm pretty sure she saw it though.

I felt something warm being pressed into my palm and looked down to see a mug full of creamy chocolate swirls.

"Hot chocolate." Mikasa said softly, prompting me to drink it.

As soon as I had tipped back my head and taken a sip, I felt the warmth spread throughout my body and my stomach rumble. I had eaten nothing all day.

Then I set the mug back down and continued to scroll through, with Mikasa peering over my shoulder at the movies.

"'The Purge' is good." She said, clicking on it for me.

A picture of a man in a stretched orange mask showing a twisted and wide sadistic smile flashed on the screen and my chest went tight. 

I had watched this movie with Levi when he had slept over with me to have a Netflix marathon.

Without even realizing it, a tear slipped down my cheek and I brushed it away, angrily. Mikasa wrapped her arms around me, and instead of shoving her off, I let myself be hugged. I had never realized how good it felt. Not since mom had done it.

Eventually she let me go and I gently massaged my temples, trying the ease the thoughts that chiseled away at the inside of my skull. It didn't really work. 

"What about you and Jean? I'd thought you'd be heartbroken about you two breaking up." I said, numbly.

"We haven't broken up." Mikasa said stiffly.

I stared at her. "So why are you not speaking to each other? And why is he taking Crysta to prom?"

"You heard about that?"

"We go to Sina high. Everyone knows everything."

Mikasa laughed, weakly. 

"So your still together?"

"I guess so."

"And you haven't..."

"What?"

"You know."

"What are you talking about, Eren?" Mikasa asked.

"Have you slept with him?!" I asked, irritated. And I instantly regretted the words.

Mikasa looked down at her sweatpants and picked at the fabric.

"No." She said.

"You sure?"