Ephemeral || Hong Joshua

Amelioriating

There I was, sitting nervously in my shared apartment, while Emily was telling me to calm the fuck down. 'I mean, after seeing the picture I do have to admit that's the most beautiful Asian man I've ever laid my eyes on. Perhaps, the most beautiful man I've ever laid my eyes on. But, Hazel. You're drop dead gorgeous too.' I narrow my eyes at her. 'You have to say that, because I'm your best friend. Surely, I'm okay too look at but that men is way out of my league. Besides, I yelled at him and he still likes me. There has to be something wrong with him.' 'Maybe you found someone, who is just as crazy as you are.' I grab Emily in a head lock and rub my hand over her hair. 'That can't be. I already found the person, whom matches my crazy energy.' 'I just got a fucking blow-out. I'm going to kill you.' Emily tries to get out of the head lock, but the attempt is pathetic. She's like five inches shorter than me and I lift weights. After tiring herself out, she taps my arm signaling she gives up. I let her go and she gives me the finger. 'Perhaps, in your next life shorty.' 'I fucking hate you.' 'No, you don't.' The buzzer goes off. Emily leaps for it. 'No, you don't.' But, I'm too slow. 'Hi, yes this is the roommate speaking. She'll be right out. She's just shaving her legs, you know. Just in case.' Emily hangs up the phone and bursts out laughing. 'I'm going to get you back for this. You won't know when or with who, but you will know why.' I close the door, while she shouts: 'Don't come home.' While ascending the stairs, I'm definitely regretting my choice of shoes. I don't wear heals that often, but because I'm tall it shows of my long legs and to be honest I wanted to impress Joshua. I wanted to feel beautiful again after going through my break up phase. I was ready to put it all behind me and move on. Joshua was standing in front of the gate and he held my hand, as he guided my down the last steps. 'Someone as pretty as you, can't be that sweet.' He raises his eyebrow, while smirking. 'You think I'm pretty.' I think it would be an understatement, when I say my face was redder than a tomato. 'No?' He doesn't stop smirking, until we arrive at the restaurant. 'Get over yourself,' I finally say. 'But, you think I'm pretty. Am I not pretty, Hazel?' 'I will walk back.' I start to open the car door. 'Wait. Wait.' He quickly walks around the car and opens my door. I ignore the hand he offers. 'I can open my own door you know. I'm an independent woman.' 'Oh, you don't have to tell me that. I know you're great at yelling people and you probably get your way every time.' I bat my eyelashes at him. 'You don't know the least of it, honey.' His gaze travels to my mouth. I hook my finger under his chin, forcing him to look at me. 'Don't even think about it, until you've put some food in me and have told me more about you then just your name.' He recomposes himself and opens the restaurant door for me. 'Is the food part more important, since you mentioned that one first?' 'If that's a question you need to ask, I will most definitely not kiss you tonight.' He pretends to zip up his mouth. The waiter places us at our table. 'Korean, great choice. It's my favorite.' 'You've had it before?' 'Of course. Jajjangmyeon is to die for.' He chuckles. 'I'm more of a rice guy.' 'Only a psychopath would choose rice over noodles. It's not that rice isn't any good. It's just that noodles are heaven.' I notice that the edges of his mouth slightly rise, whenever he laughs. We decide to order noodles and rice. I warn him beforehand that I will be stealing some food of his, since he ordered bulgogi with rice. 'So tell me about yourself,' I said, while already eating some of the kimchi and picked radish. 'I'm from Los Angeles, but my parents are originally from Korea. I enjoy playing the guitar and riding my bike. I prefer books over movies and I'm particularly fond of reading horror, anime and fantasy. My least favorite color is green.' I interrupt him. 'I've never had someone tell me their least favorite color.' His eyes twinkle, when he says: 'Well, I guess I'm special.' I pretend I'm about to throw up, when I fact my heart fucking fluttered. Why does he say stupid things like that? 'How old are you?' I ask. 'Twenty seven.' My eyes widen. 'You're kidding right?' He shakes his head. 'Why? How old are you?' I gulp. 'Eighteen.' 'Eighteen? And you already live alone?' 'I'm in my second year of university. I skipped a grade.' 'You look older to me.' I take my sunscreen stick out of my bag and start reapplying. 'I fucking hate western skin.' 'Oh no, I meant you just look more mature.' 'Well, you look twenty. Vampire.' He chuckles. 'It doesn't have to be an issue. It's not illegal or something.' 'Well, it will be frowned upon. I'm not sure my parents would approve.' 'Wow, you have to feed me first before we talk about meeting your parents.' I give him a playful slap on his arm. 'Don't steal my jokes.' He laughs. 'I'm sorry.' We laugh and talk throughout the entire meal. We were really clicking, until the bill came. 'I'm not letting you pay, Joshua. If you don't want me to pay for us both, let me at least pay for my part.' 'No way, you're a college student. I have a full-time job.' I grunt, when he gives the waitress his credit card. 'You ruined the date, gentleman,' I say, when we're in the car again. He puts the car in reverse and starts driving me to my house again. 'No, I didn't.' 'Yes, you did. I'm going to pay the next time and you're not allowed to complain.' He raises his eyebrow. 'Next time?' 'Yes, I mean,' I blush again. 'Why do keep insisting on making me blush, Joshua?' 'You make it too easy.' 'You're mean,' I pout. 'I make up for it by paying the bill.' 'I hate you.' He pulls over to the curb in front of my apartment. 'Say that again.' I look straight at him. 'I hate you.' 'No, you don't.' 'Yes, I do.' He hooks his finger under my chin and pulls me closer to him. I'm breathing his air and he's breathing mine, when he again mutters: 'No, you don't.' And then he crashes his mouth onto mine. Joshua is a very sweet guy, so I imagined his kisses would be too. It was the complete opposite. It's rough, passionate, dizzying and I cursed myself for not kissing him earlier. I got addicted to his rhythm. His mouth moved in perfect sync with mine and when he sucked my bottom lip, I saw stars. He made me feel the excitement of my first kiss all over again, but it wasn't enough. 'Joshua,' I whispered against his mouth. He was breathing heavily, when he pulled away. 'Fuck,' he said not breaking eye contact. I knew I should've stopped myself right then and there, but I'd had an taste of him and I wasn't ready to go yet. So, I did the sensible thing. I climbed onto his lap. 'Hazel.' I shake my head. 'Don't talk.' I kiss him again. I kiss him until I'm out of breath and I take a break of two seconds before I connect our lips again, not wanting to separate from him. I kiss him until I'm finally confident enough to lower myself again, feeling his hardness against me. I kiss him until I'm dizzy and overwhelmed from everything I'm feeling. 'Fuck, Joshua. This wasn't a good idea.' He sits up straighter, not removing his hands from my thighs. 'What is it?' He asks with a concerned look on his face. 'Are you not comfortable? Have I been pressuring you too much? I'm sorry, I know I should've asked for more consent and I-,' I shake his shoulders trying to get his attention. 'Joshua, shut up for a second. He stops talking. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. 'Fuck, Joshua. This wasn't a good idea, because I can't go back inside now.' 'Why not?' 'Because, you're making me feel things with your kisses. I never thought I would be this type of girl, but I'm going to have to ask you to fuck me.' His eyes widen. 'Hazel,' he says softly. I silence him with my finger on his mouth. 'Joshua, I know you're a nice guy but I'm going to have to ask you to put that aside for now.' 'I'm not going to fuck you in this car, Hazel.' I shut him up with a dizzying kiss. I know how to get what I want and the feeling between my legs just got worse, so I knew what to do. I traced my fingers from his neck to lower abdominal. I put my hand on his pants and started to slowly rub. 'Hazel,' he groaned, as he grew harder. He pushed me back slightly and took my hands in his. He places a kiss on my right hand. 'Not like this. I'm not going to be your one night stand.' 'I don't want you to be and I just told you I've never slept with a guy on the first date. But sleeping together doesn't mean we're not going on a second date. If it feels anything like this, I'll certainly want to go on that second date. I don't want you to leave, Joshua. I'm not going to say anything cliché like we have a connection that I've never felt before, but in this moment I just don't want you to leave. I really don't. I need you.' 'Do you need me to come up with you?' 'I can't Emily has her boytoy over.' 'Her boytoy? You know what. Never mind, I don't want to know.' My lip quivers. 'Please, don't leave.' 'I'm not leaving, Hazel. You do need to go sit in your own seat, because one I can't drive with you on my lap and two if you don't get off now I might fuck you anyway.' 'Well, in that case,' I smirk. He raises his eyebrows. 'I'm kidding. I'm kidding.' I throw my hands up in the air. 'Jesus, Joshua. Never thought you would use that kind of language. You said freaking, when I first met you.' 'I can still throw you out of this car.' 'No, you can't. I've already put my seatbelt on.' 'Smartass.' 'Sexy ass too.' 'Just shut up.'