Awaiting The Dawn

13: Can You Kill?

Days later, the princess declared she wanted to learn swordsmanship. "You said you'd teach me, Hak."

"No I didn't," was his curt reply. He clearly did not want to help her learn the sword.

"You can teach me while we travel! I need to learn to fight so I can drive off anyone who attacks us."

'Was she capable of taking a human's life?'

With his own doubts too, Hak asked the important question. "Princess, can you kill someone?"

Before taking up a weapon, one needed to be clear on what...or who it'd be pointed against.

If it was simply to improve yourself, you only need friendly sparring. If it was to hunt, you must kill the prey. If it was to defend, you must be willing to shed human blood. That was what her mother taught her.

From her, Hisa learned all the skills of a hunter. Those skills later allowed her to become a warrior of their clan.

The distinction between the two was simple.

The hunters were responsible for catching food for the village. Most learned from a young age and would join the hunt after turning fourteen.

The warriors trained, patrolled the mountains in case of intruders, and would escort villagers when they traveled outside. They had to pass a test using their weapon of choice.

Her mother was so angry when she announced she'd take the test. She said Hisa was unsuited to become a warrior.

It was part of the reason why she left. To prove herself. That she could handle people being killed in front of her. Hisa thought that was why her mother didn't believe in her.

Hak had a more serious expression than usual as he looked at the princess. "You want to repel enemies, but they won't just run away. You need to either kill or incapacitate them. Can you do it?"

They weren't meant for her, but those words sent a pang of guilt into Hisa.

'No.' She mouthed to no one. 'I can't.'

Apparently Yoon saw that, because he quietly walked by her side and mouthed, 'Me neither.'

But what was the point of holding onto her weapons if she didn't want to fight? Why did she ever want to be a warrior? Was it really to spite her mother?

Just as she thought this, the princess gave her a reason. "...When we were cornered in the mountains, I had a sword, but I couldn't use it. Even if I'm outclassed, even if I can't kill, I want to be able to create opportunities for escape."

Hisa wasn't sure what triggered it at that moment, but she was suddenly standing in front of a familiar figure.

   A woman in her forties, with soft gray eyes that betrayed the scowl on her face and the sharpness of her voice.

'Mother.' Hisa didn't realize just how much she missed her family.

   "Hmph, fine. Go take the test." She turned around and refused to look at Hisa.

Why was she being shown what happened four months ago?

   "Leave the village again with that friend of yours. Make all the mistakes you want. Let your visions decide your path and run away from everything frightening."

   The following words came naturally even though it wasn't what she wanted to say. "I'm not running away from anything. And I'm not making a mistake!"

Gods, her previous self was so stubborn and wouldn't listen to reason.

...Was Hisa still like this now?

   "Oh really? You brought an outsider here without permission."

   "I vouch for him! Suzu is a good person. Trust me!"

   "Trust you?" Her mother refused to turn around, holding up a hand and counting Hisa's actions with her fingers. "You separated from the merchant twins after only two months, don't return home for ten months, only come to take the warrior test, and bring back a skinny, featherbrained husband."

   "He's not my husba–"

   "On top of that, you want to leave again for who knows how long." After all five fingers were held up, she curled them into a fist, then aimed a throwing knife towards Hisa.

   She shifted her feet to the side, dodging the attack without difficulty.

   "I will be seventeen tomorrow, mother. And I'm going to become a warrior." Hisa felt the need to reassert her decision. That she wouldn't change it.

   Her mother finally turned around.

   "You foolish girl." Her stormy eyes reflected Hisa's figure. "See for yourself if your choices were right or not."

   The disappointment in her tone hurt far more than the insult.

   But she refused to admit it. "Fine! I'll prove it to you!"

   Just as Hisa was about to storm off, she felt a hand stop her.

   "Wait." She held Hisa's shoulders in a hard grip before letting go, eyes boring into her. "I taught my daughter to fight so that she could carry her own life. Carry it. And carry it back home."

   She brought her into a tight hug, still speaking in a harsh voice. "Promise me."

   Hisa groaned, complaining she couldn't breathe.

   After repeated attempts to get out of her mother's grasp, she gave up. Closing her eyes and returning the hug, Hisa whispered. "I'll return. I promise."

When she opened them again, her mother was gone.

She could feel her eyes build up in tears. Damn it, why'd she have to see a vision like that?

Hisa wiped them off before anyone noticed and forced her focus back to Thunder and the princess' conversation.

After some consideration, Hak handed her a bow and quiver of arrows. Hisa had noticed he'd been carrying it ever since they met up again in the alley, but she hadn't gotten the chance to try it.

"I'll fight in the front-lines. You'll fire at the enemy while staying hidden."

"Okay. Give me a sword too." The princess tried to negotiate, her face saying she wasn't expecting him to agree.

And she was right.

"Let's start with the bow for now."

The princess pouted, which forced Hisa to hold in a laugh. She was so cute.

"Princess, King Il never let you touch a weapon. Right now, I'm going against his orders. You should consider why your father hated weapons."

With that, both the princess and Hisa went deep into thought. One tried to figure out Hak's meaning, and the other tried to recall if she ever killed a human.