Tender // All American X LGBT

18. The Complication😔 PT2

I made my way to the center of the room where JJ was pulling names out of a box and everybody was waiting anxiously waiting for the next victims to be called out "okay the next set of names are Simone and Jordan" he announced and everyone cheered them on. Jordan looked kind of uncomfortable but she reassures him and they leave. Once they are gone the crowd calms down and awaits the next set of victims "okay so we have, me and...." he pauses for dramatic affect before pulling out the next name and then making direct eye contact with me "Mr Carter himself" he says and suddenly all eyes are on me and everyone is cheering us on 'who the hell put my name in that fucking box'  I look around the room examining everyone until landing on Markus who's eye are already on me he's doing that thing where he stares into my soul and examining my intentions. He has a sour look in his eyes. 'he clearly doesn't want me to go through with it' JJ passed the box to Owen and held his hand out for me. I gave Markus one more look and he still had that look in his face, I took his hand and led him upstairs.

We got to his room and he locked the door and turned the lights on, which was kinda weird. "you're waisted aren't you?" I asked him "I had a few drinks" he responded "figured" I said under my breath "oh like you're the most sober thing to bless earth" he snapped at me berely able to maintain his posture "how much did you drink tonight JJ?" I asked him "let's just say, I'm drunk enough to forget everything that's happening tonight so I might as well make the most of it" he said as he flopped on the bed and I sat down beside him "is that what you want? To get drunk and just forget?" I asked him activating my 'therapist mode' "well when you say it like that, you make sound like I have problems or something" he said "everybody has problems JJ. And  we drink in a desperate attempt to hide it all. And you know what that makes us?" I asked, sitting down on the bed next to him "alcoholic party animals with inner demons?" he asks sarcastically making me chuckle "it makes us human dude" I said to him. He looked around the room for a second before facing me again "let's go to the beach" he said abruptly. He quickly jumped off the bed and stared at me, awaiting my response. 'can he even walk?' I thought to myself "what are you avoiding JJ?" I asked him with a blank stare "I'll tell you on the beach, come on" he said as he pulled me of the bed and opened the glass door in his room. He pulled across the property until we got to the beach. The sound of the waves crashing was so relaxing and the water was reflecting the light of the moon, it's so pretty. "let's go in" he proposed "are you crazy? It's freezing out here. We'll catch a cold" I said to him as he took his onsie off "Damian, you're caring to much" he said as he stood in front of me in his boxers and a Grey shirt "what do you mean?" I asked in confusion "I mean that you need to relax, take it easy..." he says again removing his socks  with a smile on his face "so you're saying, taking it easy is swimming in the ocean at 2am in the morning" I asked again "uhg, Damian. Be a little more spontaneous! You only have one life, what's the point of having it if you're not gonna live it dude" he says as he ran straight into the water without hesitation. He's right, I do really need to be a little bit more spontaneous but then again, what's more spontaneous than a trip to another city planned the day of? I let out a sigh and called out to JJ to get his attention "hey, I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere alright?" I announced and he gave me a thumbs up and I took my leave.

I returned holding 2 towels, 2 wine glasses and a bottle of wine from the secret wine seller. JJ was still in the same place as I left him in. I layed the towels down and placed the bottle in the sand and sat the glasses down next to it. I then proceeded to strip out of my Grey onsie and and strutted to the ocean in my Calvin Klein's and my white shirt. "well look what the tide dragged in? I was beginning to think that you bailed on me" he said. I stepped foot in the water and it was freezing cold "JJ this water is ice cold, how are you swimming in it?" I asked going in one step at a time "it's pretty nice once you get used to it" he says splashing around. I continue walking into the water until it's at my neck then I dive in and pop my head out "so..... We're at the beach. What was it that you were going to tell me?" I coaxed him but he stayed silent and he broke eye contact to just stare at the water "OK, I'll tell you what. Let me tell you something going on in my life then you can tell me what's wrong?" I proposed "yeah let's do that. I'd feel kinda awkward sharing alone" he says as he swem a little closer to me "Okay well, over the last few weeks my life completely flipped upside down" I started off and he nodded his head paying attention "cause..... My dad cheated on my mom and now they could be getting a divorce" I admit and his eyes went wide with shock "it turns out that he had 2 whole ass kids outside of his marriage, one's in college and the other is 3 years old and it's just a lot" I ranted then he pulled me into a tight hug around my waist and I put my arms around his neck as he rubbed my back "I'm so sorry, D. How did you find out?" he said with my head on his chest "my brother dm'ed me on Instagram while I was at Markus' place . Told me everything but I didn't believe it. I called my dad right after and he basically, indirectly confirmed it so the next day I went out to meet my brother but his mom was being very bitchy so I left before I could see my little sister. But I really only came to terms with it when I found my mom crying when I got home" I finished as I let out a heavy breath "I can't even imagine. How are you feeling about this?" he asked "that's the problem, I'm not feeling. I fully understand what's going on but I refuse to let myself feel it. I can't find the strength to let myself cry and I know it's not healthy but I just can't help it" I answer him as honestly as possible "let's get out of the water, maybe even crack open that wine bottle that you brought along" he proposed and I happily agreed

We lay down on the towels I brought. JJ takes his wet shirt off and I keep mine on. "so it's your turn to start talking" I said to him as I folded up my onesie into a pillow and slept on it. He opened the bottle and took a big sip before placing it on his lap "what do you wanna know" he said "what are you going through that you need alcohol to run from it?" I asked "I don't have anything to run from Damian" he said taking another sip "I'm confused, earlier you said you'd tell me if I told you what's going on in my life and now you don't wanna talk to me" I argued. JJ is my friend, I really wanna help him but he's just dodging me "when I say I have nothing serious to run from, I mean the only thing I'm running away from is being sober.... " he says "nobody likes sober JJ, they only like me when drunk" he admitted taking another before saying "nobody takes me seriously when I'm sober cause I don't really take charge but when I'm intoxicated it just feels different. It feels like I'm heard" I  states leaving me low-key stunned "what are you talking about JJ?" I asked, he chuckles before looking me in the eyes "Damian, I'm not as cheerful as you think I am..." he admits "I pretend to be someone I'm not so people can like me and alcohol helps me do that" he says "What makes you think that the real you is unlikeable?" I asked him "well that's probably cause I don't even like the real me" he says "who is the real you?" I asked "have you heard the name Playboy Parker?" he asked me an obvious question "yeah, that's you idiot" I snapped at him and he smiled at me before asking me "do you know why they call me that?" I raised a brow at him and smiled "cause the legend says you dated half the girls in our school" I answered him "and do you know why?" he asked and I shook my head no "I get touch starved Damian" he admitted. I cocked my head in confusion "I can't go for too long without physical contact of some sort, mostly hugs and kisses. Hand holding doesn't really help me." I explained before taking another big gulp of the wine "I'm still not seeing the problem" I stated "the real me is dependent, needy, incredibly clingy and super desperate for physical affection otherwise I have heavy panic attacks. My drinking gives me a different personality so if I do get overly touchy with someone, I can blame the alcohol and say I was drunk" he explained in more detail and I let out a big 'ohh'  "so when you hug me, or anyone at school it helps you deal with that?" I asked and he nodded "and when you held me super tightly in the, it wasn't to comfort me but because you needed a hug?" I asked as a joke "come on, you know that's not true" he says taking another sip of the wine "okay pass me the bottle before you finish it" I said before grabbing the bottle from him and picking up one of the glasses that he ignored "wine glasses? Not very spontaneous of  you" he commented, making me roll my eyes and place the glass down and take a sip straight from the bottle.

"Are you seeing anyone Damian?" he ask before looking down at the sand "that's random" I laughed and he just smiled before he continued "no, in just enjoying myself with you right now. I never had a conversation like this with anyone, nor have I told anyone my secret" he says before looking up and making eye contact, his pale cheeks are painted pink which made me smile. "no JJ I'm not seeing anyone, but I am getting over someone" I admit "oh really? Who?" he asked "uhm it's just a guy that I grew strong feelings for, who made me believe he felt the same. I saw kissing him kissing a girl on the field at the game today" I ranted "is it Markus?" I asked with a small disappointed grin "yeah, how'd you know?" I asked shocked "the whole school has been talking about how close you 2 are. The already thought you were dating, I did too honestly" he says "yeah no, we weren't. I really hoped we would though. But maybe I read the signs wrong and he isn't interested in me" I said breaking eye contact to look at the ocean that is being lit up by the moon. I took a big sip of the wine and continued to stare at the water