The way I feel.......(#Wattys 2015)

December 15

December 15

2:59AM

Dear future self,

I can't sleep. Again. Its cold out there tonight. I'm thinking about Elsy, I know she is crying right now. But she wouldn't just admit it. She was always there for me and now its killing me look at her this way. I guess I need to give her her space.

Reality #1: Bad things always happen to good people.

Fact of life. Can't help it. Sadly.

I liked it when I was younger, not having to face this cruel world with all the harsh realities you have to accept. And coming across people who break your heart into a million pieces and then expect you to act as if nothing happened. And, my dear, that sucks. And all these people can say is 'sorry'. Is that the best you have? Its like you break a glass window and then put a band-aid on it. That is the graphical representation of the word 'sorry'. And the worst part, you are unable to express yourself in just words. Or actually, you don't have people you want to express yourself to. Aaaahhh this world is a pathetic place to live. This world is very ungrateful. Nobody ever thanks me for being patient enough not to kill them.

Reality #2: Life will never be fair.

Whatever you do is not coming back. All the 'karma' thingy is just to keep you going. Life never gives back what you give it. Never ever expect life to be fair. Never make this mistake. I know people who are cruel and brutal but lived a life which they don't deserve. Karma? huh, lies and lies and lies. I can see more lies coming my way.

But, that is no reason for you to turn bad or brutal. Just learn this,

Be yourself, your true self.

Do what you think is right. Not what the world thinks is right. Because in the end its you who goes through the consequences, not them.

Oh dear, Maria, I wish you luck to deal with the 'future' world because I can only see the world deteriorate. People (like me) who want to change the world do exist but people who will not let that happen also exist. I guess, two realities should be enough to deal with today. Just get that straight in your head and you'll be good, hopefully.

Love,

Maria.