,,
Wow. The audacity. I almost forgot Haejoon was like that, always getting on my nerves one way or another.
-Damn. Wow. You surely are one to talk, you paranoid bastard ? You think i'm the cough only messed up one ? That's hilarous. So, remember the day i got drunk as hell ? Guess what, a few of my memories cough came back to me ; including what you said, how life is too long and shit. Stop being so fucking self-righteous for a second. Stop pretending you don't look down cough on others the second they do something that doesn't go your way. ..
...You know that i'm grateful for my parents...The cough dorm thing and uh stuff..But i always hated that part of you. Why do you always have to pick a fight ?
-Are you even serious ? I'M the one picking a fight here ? See, you still ran away. Instead of answering me, you just spit bullshit at my face trying to change the subject of conversation.
..I'm grateful to you too. You helped me with the bullying at school, my allowance, made breakfast every morning, and basically saved my life. And you know what ?
Despite all of that,
despite living with you for months,
despite knowing everything you've gone through..
I just can't like you. It's impossible.
There's always that thing you do, or this thing you say that makes me want to punch you right in the middle of the face, even now. You just...you never really learn from your mistakes, and that's normal, that's how you always lived, but i can't handle it.
I don't hate you, not at all, but being with you can be so tiring at times.
It's exhausting. You're exhausting.
..
I can't reply to that. I can't think of an answer, i don't even know the face i'm making right now.
But it hurts.
It fucking annoys me so bad,
but more than anything,
it just hurts.
Being told to your face, by one of the most important person of your life, that it's impossible for you to be liked by them in any way, that's a pretty damn horrible feeling.
So what now ? Should i cry ? Should i get angry ? Should i yell and let the world know about my pain ? Or should i stay silent and fake a nasty smile ?
My heart is throbbing so bad i feel it down to my stomach.
-..Eunyung ? There's a question i've been wanting to ask you for a while.
-..What ?
-Do you still hate everything ?
10th november, 5:25 pm.
