Love my imperfections

A Male Widow

*Martino*

I rolled up my sleeves, took a sit behind my table and placed my feet on the table so I can relax. This week hasn't been easy, plus I took some days off since the death of Martha. And also we are launching another restaurant in Texas and if this deal goes well, I will be the happiest man.

I opened my eyes when I heard the doors of my office open. Carl walked in with some paper bags in his hand and the other hand some drinks. "I brought some food."

I slowly removed my feet from the table and leaned forward to receive my food. "Your soon to be wife should start bringing you food before you pass out." He said as he handed me my food.

"Carl don't start." I said as I start digging in. "Come on, you should wife her already. Plus she is the one you wanted  when you first went to meet the Thomas."

"Carl you need to keep your mouth shut if you don't have anything good to say." He raised his hands up in defeat as he started eating.

"It's not as easy as you think. Also I don't have time for relationships. I have a multimillion business that needs all my attention. And a brothel that I need to keep safe" I said after taking a sip of the orange juice he brought.

"Tino, the two of us know that you really thought that she was the woman you were getting, not Martha. And I still want to know why you married Martha even though you knew she was sick, was it out of pity or cause you wanted to see Amanda more regularly?" Carl is a dutchbag, he says his mind and doesn't even care how you will feel about it.

"Carl. I wish I was never your friend." I said as I stood up and threw the paper bag in the dustbin. "Really? Last time I checked, I'm the first person, the only person you call when you need a favour, so you need me."

"I don't even have a wife because you call me even in the middle of the night. Jeez." He said with a frown on his face. "Plus, the department at Texas just accepted your proposal, meaning.."

"Well done Carl. You are the best friend I could have ever wished for." I said playfully as I watched him stand up and leave the office.

I went back to work. Working like my life depends on it. Well yes my life depends on all my businesses because I started them myself, I grew them myself. And most importantly, I want to make sure Ethan never has to go through what I went through to be successful.

Soon as I was done I cleared my table and went home.

Soon as I got home, Ethan was crying his lungs out, I looked at the clock and realised that Amanda hasn't yet knocked off. "It's fine I will take him." I said as I took him from the servant and gave her my laptop bag.

"Hey little man. What's with the fuss? You hungry? Come, let's go get something quick to eat before Amanda comes back." I walked to the kitchen and got him some baby food that Amanda got for him, he really like them. Soon as I started feeding him, he was quite and enjoying his meal.

Once I was done I decided to run him a bath, then put him to bed. Amanda will be walking in anytime from now and I think this whole thing of not having a nanny for him will definitely not work. There is no way I can come back home to crying Ethan every day. I heard the front door closes and quietly I closed Ethan's door and went downstairs to meet up with Amanda who just got back from work. Looking like absolute disaster.

"Where is Ethan?" She asked without greeting me, clearly he is the most important one. "Asleep." I said as I passed her and went to the kitchen. She followed.

I grabbed some water from the fridge and turned to look at this small human being in front of me. Her brown eye looking up at me. "Did he eat? Or bath?" I gave her a small nod before I gulped down my water.

He blue scrubs hanged over her shoulder making her even more shorter, her posture giving tired and ready to bury myself in sheets. Her curly hair up in high puff bringing out the shape of her face.

"What did he eat? I did not prepare any food for him last night. Thought I was gonna do it today." She said as she made her way to the dining room. Sat down and patiently waited for her food.

"I gave him the baby food in the fridge." I said as I sat down in my usual spot. "Those are supposed to be his snacks Martino. At his age he is supposed to have full meals so that they can aid him with growing." She said with a frown on her face. The Nurse in her coming out to play.

"Hey, Ethan is my son. I may be a male widow but he is still my son and I will do what's best for him." I said looking down at her. She uncomfortably shifted in her seat. Looking at everything but me.

"I never said he is not your son. But I'm only saying.." before she could finish her statement I interrupted her.

"Where were you today when I found him crying his lungs out cause he didn't see any familiar face?" I leaned forward l, glaring straight in her eyes. My heart beating faster than I thought, I clenched my hands into fist, my eyes piercing her skin.

"I was at work, I had.."

"Oh, yes. Work. Because it's the most important thing to you. Next time before you want to lecture me on how to raise my son, remember that you don't want to raise him like he is yours. You actually don't want to make him yours." With that I stood up from my chair and left the room. I just want what's best for Ethan, even if I may be selfish, it's all for him. And also, the rules have to be followed.

I could hear her breathing, sobbing, but I continued to walk up the stairs to my room.

I hate it when someone doubts me, I hate is so much. I'm trying so much to do what's better and what's best for my son. It's not easy. Just because I did not plan to have him doesn't mean I have to desert him. He is mine and that will be like that for good. I just don't want him to grow up like me.

My life now is milk and honey, but it was never like this growing up, I will do whatever it takes to give Ethan the childhood I never had, especially of being raised by both parents. Amanda doesn't have to love me to marry me, he has to do this for Ethan, the sooner the better.

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