Love my imperfections

THE FUNERAL

•AMANDA•

Everything reminded me about my father's funeral. Even though it wasn't as fancy as this one, but just seeing Martha in the coffin brought bad memories.

The service was not really long, and before i knew it, we were back in Martino's mansion. "Hey friend" Sandra reached out for me and gave me a tight hug. i gave her a small smile for reassurance as soon as she looked at me. "Your mother looks like a mess." i looked at the direction of Kate and she was talking to some people i don't know. "tell me about it." i said as i brought the glass of orange juice up on my lips. "Excuse me, where is Ethan?" i asked one of the servers as she was about to pass by. "He is in his room with his nanny." i gave her a small nod before she could leave to serve the others.

"i think you should just go and see him." Sandra suggested with a small smile on her face, her blue eyes looking down at me with pity. i gave her a small nod and turned to leave. before Martha was hospitalized, she brought me to her house some several times. so i know my way around. i took the stairs up to Ethan's room. passing the large paintings on the wall and a several number of doors before i reached his room. the door wasn't closed.

i stood at the door facing the light blue room with a lot of toys on the floor. the windows had white curtains nicely opened. his Cort bed against the wall and a nice small dresser on the other side. there was also another dresser that we use to change his nappy on at the end of the Cort bed, some few feet from the door.

soon as Francina saw me, she gave me a small smile gesturing me to come in. Ethan was at the other side of the room, playing with his toys. "Ever since he started crawling, he's been naughty." i sat down beside him and brushed his head. "Mind if you look after him for a while i go and make a bottle for him?" Francina asked as she raised two empty milk bottles Infront of her. "Sure, you can go."

i pulled Ethan on my lap as i continued to play with him. his laughter growing louder and louder. his brown eyes looking up at me as i made funny faces. we were both disrupted my heavy footsteps by the door. i turned to look and there he was, Martino Montez. the owner and CEO of MO fly and other companies. the wealthiest man i know now. "i did not know you are in here." his dark eyes piercing down on us, his black shirt rolled up to his elbows revealing tattoos on his arms.

"i just came to see him." i said as i looked down on Ethan who was chewing one of his toys. he is just a cute little boy, looks so much like his father but got his mother's eyes. "He likes you." He said as he proceeded to walk in the room and took a sit on the chair Infront of us.

"i know we just buried Martha but.. I'm going to need some help with Ethan." he said leaning forward. his calmness is what usually creeps me out. he is so calm. I've never heard him shout nor seen him angry. not that I've spent much time with him, but every time i met him. he is just this calm guy with few words to say.

"Yeah, yeah sure. I'd really love that. I can bring him in when i go to work then come fetch him when I knock off and on my off days..."

"Amanda. you will have to take over your sister's duties sooner than we expected. I'm the one telling you this before the family meeting because I want you to prepare yourself. i don't know when they will expect you to start but you will have to...move in and become my wife and Ethan's mother."

"What?" i felt my heart beating fast. every part of me getting numb. somehow i started felling cold. a breeze making me shiver. "No, No. I.. I never agreed to that traditional method thing." he sighed and leaned back.

"She was your sister." he whispered. "half-sister. I don't have a problem helping with Ethan but marring you?"  i could hear my voice about to shake, am i about to cry? the sound of my voice made him look up at me, his eyes met mine, but they held no emotion whatsoever. "You love her, right? you can't just move on like that, not with her half-sister!" i could feel warm tears making their way down my face. i quickly wiped them away when Francina walked in.

"Oh sorry, i can come back later." she said and waited for our respond.

"No" i said.

"Yes!" after Martino's respond, Francina walked to me and picked up Ethan from my lap. she then walked out of the room leaving me with Martino in silence.

"You can't do this," i pleaded with him my voice shaking again. "There is nothing we can do, or i can do."

"There is, you can say no. You can tell them how much you loved Martha and you need time to heal."

"No!" he stood up and left the room.

How can he say no so smoothly like the death of his wife doesn't bother him anyway whatsoever.I started feeling the walls closing up on me, the room becoming smaller and smaller. i felt like my lungs couldn't get enough oxygen, and i started feeling the need to breath faster. there was a tight knot on my chest making it hard for me to calm down. then slowly everything around me become blurry, and darkness took over.

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