Queen of Shattered Dreams

5 - The Guard

Photo by Irina Iriser from Pexels

My grumbling stomach wakes me from fitful sleep. I didn't eat at all yesterday, what with the king ruining breakfast and Alfrid ruining supper.

Alfrid.

The skin around my eyes is tight and puffy from crying myself to sleep. I had stormed past Mother once I arrived home, I didn't want her questions or worse, her judgments.

I sneak out of my room and make my way to the kitchen. There's bread still on the counter and I cut two slices, adding a hearty amount of butter from the larder. The bread lays heavy in my mouth. It's as though it has no flavor. A sizable disappointment seeing as I haven't eaten in over a day. But it's fitting given the day I've had. Not only am I to marry the king, but the boy I love doesn't love me back, and I possibly don't have the gift of magic as I had believed. How else can I explain why I'd have a dream where I'm married to someone young, someone I love—but then wake to find that in three weeks I'll be married to an ancient hog in fine clothing.

My throat constricts and my stomach contracts. "I can't marry him," I choke out. The thought of him touching me makes me sick.

I return to my room, grabbing my two simplest day gowns. Then once more through the kitchen to grab some food for my journey, bread, fruit, things that will travel well and need no preparation. It's early enough that the servants aren't awake, but they will be soon. I make my way quickly to the front door, walking on my tiptoes. The sky is pink in preparation for the rising sun. The air outside is chilly.

At the stables, I pack my meager belongings into a saddle bag. Daisy, a sorrel mare I've ridden for years, snorts a greeting.

"Hey there girl." I pet her snout. "We're getting out of here." I sling the saddle bags over her back and climb on.

With a gentle pressure I squeeze her sides with my knees and Daisy trots forward. For a fleeting moment I'm anxious I may run into Alfrid on the road to town, but after I turn on to the main thoroughfare without seeing him in front or behind me I stop worrying.

I head east toward Dolgary and Magaroy, the two closest towns. I know roughly where they are from my tutoring, but I've  never been and I'm not sure how long the journey should take. I can't stay here in Direwood though, as I'm sure to be recognized sooner rather than later. The further away I can get, the better.

The sounds and smells of town meet me before I see it: bread baking, the clopping of horse's hooves against the stone streets, the hammer against anvil at the forge. My stomach tightens, Alfrid could be the very one at that anvil. I shake the thought from my head. It is better to forget him and sooner rather than later.

I'm not sure if I urge Daisy faster or if she senses my unease and quickens her trot as we make our way through the center of Direwood. We reach the edge of town, unnoticed, and Daisy slows again, as though to ask me if I'm sure. This is the moment to continue or retreat home. I take a breath and urge her forward on the road. Anything will be better than what fate has in store for me.

The sun and the temperature rise higher. There's nothing but farmland on either side of me and the sounds fade behind us as we move further away. The road ahead is relatively empty at this time of day. More people are headed into town rather than out and it's not market day so the farmers are in their fields.

I relax, closing my eyes and allowing the light to warm me. Birds chirp all around and I'm envious of their carefree existence, the freedom to fly away. No bird was ever betrothed to a king for their mother's social status.

"Good day to you!" A deep voice pulls me from my thoughts. I open my eyes to see three men approaching, one with his hand raised in the air in greeting. Though his salutation sounds friendly, his face is stern, as are those of his companions. Their eyes are intense, their mouths turned down, and quickly, they separate from each other so that they will flank me.