Queen of Shattered Dreams

16 - Giving Up

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I was hardly able to sleep through the night, waking each time I rolled over, worried I'd sleep too late and miss my opportunity. Seeing Alfrid the other day had been too short a reunion and we couldn't really be ourselves with Vlad standing there. I must see him again, more so now that I know Lady Bryde's news.

The sun isn't even up when Yana enters my room. "Here it is, ma'am," she says as she holds up her dress. It's plain, a muted green with long sleeves and a scooped neck. It's perfect. I'm able to put it on without any assistance and then Yana does my hair similar to hers. This morning, I'm just a servant on my way to work.

Yana had even thought to bring a pair of slippers that belong to her sister, who she said was closer to my shoe size. Bless this woman for her considerate nature. I've told her nothing of what I am doing—the less she knows, the better. I won't be gone long. No one will even know because they'll still expect me to be on bed rest and Yana is the only one who sees me until at least ten in the morning. That should be plenty of time.

"Now," I whisper, "feel free to lounge in here but remember to go get my breakfast tray and bring it back. No need to save it for me. Enjoy it. Think of this as a morning to pamper yourself."

"But what if someone comes?"

"Don't worry. Simply tell them I'm not fit for visitors this morning."

"But what if King Feodor comes?" Her eyes are wide with terror. As my lady's maid, she's seen his temper flare and also the damage he inflicts on me.

"He won't." He hasn't. Why would he start now? "I'll be back before anyone notices."

"But how will you get past everyone when you return?"

I take in a deep breath through my nose. I don't mean to be exasperated with her. It's not her fault and her fear is justifiable. "I have a plan, but I think it's best if you don't know—just in case."

She swallows. It's the 'just in case' that has her petrified.

I squeeze her arms. "It will be fine, I promise."

She nods but looks ready to cry. I can't deal with that right now so I head toward the door as though I hadn't noticed. My ankle is still tender so I favor it as I make my way through the still dark castle. No one is awake at this time of day, not even the kitchen staff have begun preparations. But that does make for a tricker exit. I don't dare use a torch or even a candle to light my way. I close my eyes and picture where I am. The stairs should be coming—now! I place a hand on the wall to guide my descent. Once I reach the bottom it should be a straight shot to the main doors, no cluttered rooms to dodge furniture.

These shoes are amazing. They don't make a sound as I walk, almost as though they are enchanted. I hope my own enchantment will work as well.

The late summer air is surprisingly chilly this early in the morning. I rub my arms and quicken my pace to put as much distance between myself and the palace before the sun rises.

It's eerily quiet and despite how silent my slippers were inside the castle, out here the sound of my footsteps crunching on gravel is deafening. I stop, listening for other sounds, sounds to hint that I am being followed. But there is nothing. The anxiety that has had a grip on my heart begins to loosen and as I near the village, the sun peaks out over the horizon.

It's as though the light has woken the entire village because the silence is instantly replaced with the sounds of life. Horses neigh, carriage wheels turn, voices rise in volume but most importantly of all, the sound of hammer against anvil. I quicken my pace.