Queen of Shattered Dreams

25 - Unwavering Fealty

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The servant places my dinner in front of me. I look toward the door, feigning annoyance that I am eating alone. Dendrite's habitual tardiness is saving me from pretending to be concerned.

Last night, I'd taken supper in my room and deliberately slept in to avoid Prince Dashel. Breakfast with only Dendrite and I had been strained. She'd mentioned trying to see Hassiba but being denied by a maid stating that Hassiba was unwell. Then she'd started to ask where Mother had gotten to. It was the most the girl had ever spoken to me at one time. It was difficult to play innocent but also keep my usual bite toward her. The things I had wanted to say would have given away what I had planned for her, and I needed her to not be suspicious of what was coming.

Thunder rumbles faintly from outside. Rain may delay Vlad's return to the castle.

With my fork, I spear a mushroom and take a bite, chewing slowly in the silence. I close my eyes and savor both the taste and lack of sound. I don't believe I've ever enjoyed food this much. I must personally thank the cook for this delicious meal.

Once dinner is over, I leave the dining hall and make my way to the chapel. Upon entering I walk directly to the front and light a candle, kneeling afterwords to say a quick prayer. Do the gods answer a prayer for someone's speedy demise? Will they answer the prayer of a murderess?

I stare piously toward the ceiling, my unrighteous prayers on my lips. A man comes to stand next to me, lighting his own candle and kneels.

Vlad.

"My queen," he whispers, reverence in his voice.

"Will it look as though she fell from her horse?"

He remains silent.

"Will it look like an accident?" I whip my head around to face him. He won't meet my eye. I rise to my feet, my hands clenched at my side. "You failed?" I struggle to keep my voice low.

At this he stands. "Please forgive me, my Queen." He bows his head in submission. Yet, he did not submit. I was very clear what I wanted him to do and this pathetic display is proof he didn't obey.

"Look at me," I say through clenched teeth.

He hesitates before raising his head to meet my eye.

"Tell me what happened."

He swallows. "She got away from me."

It takes a moment for his words to sink in. She got away. My face softens and I step closer to him, so close I'm practically in his arms. I reach a hand to his face and trace a finger down the scar on his cheek. I'd always meant to ask him about this scar, much like the one on the table in Hassiba's rooms. I suppose I thought there'd be endless time. "She just—got away from you?" My tone is dangerously sweet and judging by the spark of fear in his eyes he hears it. After escorting Mother to the ships and being tasked with killing Dendrite, he must sense what I am capable of. But he only knows my desires, he's no idea the magic within me. He hasn't connected Feodor's death or Hassiba's memory loss to me. He can't possibly fathom what I could do to him.

"I followed her on her ride, as you instructed." He doesn't back away from me. He doesn't have quite enough fear. Perhaps it is because Vlad Weidman cares for me, but as with his fear, it isn't enough.

"Go on."

He clears his throat. "She must have seen me. She rode harder and further than she has before. She went into the forest and I lost her there. She won't come back."

"You can't be sure of that, Vlad. The one constant with you is you always get your man. Why should you fail now?"

His eyebrows pull together in a pained expression. "She's just a girl, Mila."

I take in a slow breath, then wrap my arms around his waist. He stiffens at first but soon his arms wrap around me. She's just a girl. It's the worst excuse he could have given.

He kisses the top of my head. I grab the dagger from at his waist.

He pulls away at the motion but my grip is firm on the weapon. I thrust it forward, embedding the blade into his abdomen before he can get a safe distance away and before I change my mind. His fingers wrap around the handle, wide eyes on me as he stumbles back.

"I was a child when I came here. If the robbers hadn't accosted me on my way out of this godforsaken kingdom would you have stopped me or would you have let me go?" Weak, pathetic tears fill my eyes. "Why couldn't you let Alfrid go? You knew he was important to me even if you didn't know I loved him." My voice cracks. I hold an arm across my waist as though it will keep me together, because in this moment I feel ready to break into a million pieces. It's as though I'm a mirror that has cracked and at the center, the main pressure point is this man. Not Mother, or Feodor, not Dendrite, not Hassiba or Lady Bryde. But the only man who could have helped me escape this life. The same man who could have taken mercy on Alfrid but chose not to.

"Why didn't you save me?" Wasn't I more deserving than dead-eyed Dendrite of being saved? She's betrothed to a young, handsome prince who will no doubt treat her well. She went along with a plan to keep me from getting pregnant. She's cold and reserved and calculating. She's not a child, she's an evil princess who would turn into an evil queen.

Blood glistens on Vlad's hands. "I let her go because I failed to save you. This isn't who you are, Mila."

I stretch out my hands in front of me. "Maybe this is who I was always meant to be."

He shakes his head, then grimaces in pain, crumpling to the floor. "You've lost yourself, Mila." He grunts my name in pain. "I'm sorry for the part I played in that."

I haven't lost myself. I've found myself, saved myself from the terrible people in my life, the people who wouldn't help me. The people who hurt me, got in my way, and let me down.

He's stretched himself on the floor. How odd it is to watch someone die in this way. I kneel over him, reach for the handle of the knife, and yank it out of him.

He cries out in pain, but doesn't scream. Ever the brave soldier.

I lean over him, my face close to his. "Don't worry, Vlad, you can make it up to me."

His brow furrows. I press my fingers against his wound. The tingling sensation of magic returns. "As you die, so shall you live. As you've taken, so shall you give. Your fealty shall be to no one but me, unquestioning, unwavering it will be. The only thing to set you free, will be to stop Dendrite's heart for me."

I press my bloodied fingertips to my mouth and kiss them, then I press them to his lips. He takes in a shaky breath, then goes still. I watch his lifeless body. The color drained from his eyes and I debate whether to close them or not.

I decide against it. I take the handkerchief from his coat pocket and wipe the blood from my fingers and get to my feet.

He almost looks at peace, though he shouldn't as he has yet to mend his transgression against me. "Awake," I command.

He blinks, then sits up. "My queen?"

"Clean up this mess," I instruct, gesturing to the blood smeared on the floor and then to him.

He gets to his feet. The color to his eyes has not returned and so, eerily pale, they meet mine. "Of course, my queen."

"Change your clothes and stay watch tonight. If Dendrite returns to the castle, you know what to do."

He nods. It courses through his veins now. It's what gives him life and purpose. He'll never betray me or let me down again.

No one will.