Queen of Shattered Dreams

21 - A Toothache

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The following morning, I sit across the breakfast table from Feodor who holds a hand to his jaw as he chews.

My poor, loving husband has a toothache and could not sleep last night for the pain. "Feo, let me call for Hassiba to see what she can do for you."

He slams a fist against the table. "You think I haven't already thought to ask?"

There was a time when this reaction would have made me flinch. After all, I was only trying to be helpful. But now, I calculate each outburst, especially the physical ones, with how they'll speed things along. Slamming his fist when his bones have been weakened, will soon leave him with a broken wrist that can never heal. 

"What?" Feodor growls, holding his jaw again.

I realize an easy smile has come across my face and quickly wipe it away and think what excuse I could give for finding joy in his moment of pain. "I saw Lady Bryde yesterday. She's looking well. I had been quite worried about her." I tap a spoon against my egg and a satisfying crack breaks along the shell.

I watch him from beneath my eyelashes. His brow furrows.

"Has she been ill?"

I purse my lips, holding back any accusation about his misplaced powers of perception. How could he have guessed I was pregnant but not seem to notice the same things in his mistress? He slept in her bed far more often than mine. "Oh yes, she was looking rather pale and unattractive a few weeks ago, but now she just has..." I pause, pretending to be figuring out the word I'm looking for, but it's at the ready. "...a glow about her."

Feodor presses his hand against his jaw, grimacing. I imagine that right now I could tell him I've taken on twenty lovers and he wouldn't react in the least. He's only listening to the pain now.

"I was thinking I'd go for a ride after breakfast—I would take Weidman with me of course, so there won't be any misunderstanding about my behavior."

"The laborers and their wives will be relieved." Dendrite takes her seat. As usual she's arriving near the end of breakfast.

I narrow my eyes at her, resisting the childlike desire to stick out my tongue. She smirks back at me.

"What will they be relieved about?" Feodor asks, the wave of pain must have passed and he caught her words, if not mine.

"That Mila will have her personal guard on her ride today." She snaps her fingers and breakfast is brought to her. "We'd hate for another family to be broken apart."

Forget sticking out my tongue, I'd like to jump over this table and knock her to the ground.

"You're going for a ride today?" Feodor turns his attention to me. Before I can answer though he sucks in a breath, grabbing his jaw.

I cut into the slice of ham on my plate. Last time I tried to be considerate of his feelings he'd snapped at me. I'm not about to give Dendrite the satisfaction of seeing her father snap at me.

"Daddy?" Dendrite asks, but there's no concern in her voice, mere curiosity.

"It's my blasted tooth."

She takes a bite of toast.

I wipe the corners of my mouth with a napkin and stand.

"Where are you going?" Feodor asks.

Last I knew, I didn't need permission to leave the breakfast table. "Riding." I don't look behind me as I leave the room.

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