The girl behind her wall

Chapter 2: It's a rose.

Amanda's POV

Everything just seemed so dark, except for my love for Mason. It hurt me so much that I loved him more than I could love myself. People say that you have to love yourself first, before someone else can love you or you can love them. I've never had that concept easily set in my brain. Which wasn't a problem because no one loved me anyway. I honestly think that concept is bullshit. I have never loved myself. But him, I loved him so much I forgot what hating myself felt like.

He told me he loved me more than anything, yet his actions showed the opposite of his words. He had never told me he loved me before today.

His friends were so awful to me. They have always hated me. Especially a couple days ago when I found out I hated Mason, just as much as his friends hated me.

-Flashback-

It's the last day of 10th grade and I just witnessed my bus driving away. I missed my stupid bus. Great, looks like I'm running to school today.

It took me 24 minutes to get their. I'm finally at my locker and I have 2 minutes until the bell rings for me to get to my first period.

As I started walking through the door into my chemistry class I realize everyone staring at me. Then I see Mason and his friends looking straight at me with blank expressions. Tate was Masons best friend. That little dumb fuck wrote my name on the board along with the words waste of space, loser- hope she dies, would you miss her?

My face turns a bright shade of crimson. The room fills with the taunting laughter of everyone, but only one voice stands out.

Mason -my boyfriend- Grey.

-End of flashback-

How could he laugh at me like that that? It's like he agreed with what was written. He knows I would never do that. Never. I would miss him too much. The way he plays with my hair, the way he kisses me so gently and leaves me wanting more, a--

My thoughts were cut off by my sudden realization. What was I saying? He laughed along with everyone, instead of standing up for me. I thought that's what boyfriends were supposed to do. To be their for you when you needed them. I guess I don't deserve that. I guess I don't deserve someone that will love me the same way I love them. As if that were even possible. He hates me. I hate him. That is just how it is now.

I knew I loved him since the day I met him when we were 9 years old. We met at school. The first time he came over to my house he brought me a flower. I was 13 years old while he was 14 years old. I wasn't allowed to have boys over until I was 14 years old. Ridiculous, right? But the first thing he said to me, was unbelievable.

"Hi, my name is Mason. My mom told me to come keep you company because you're very pretty and um, she said you are far too pretty to be alone on this beautiful day. Even then, you make this day far more alluring."

He made me blush. I sat there swinging on my beaten up swing set while I nervously kicked my legs. I didn't know what to say. I finally had the courage to say something as he sat down on the swing next to mine.

"Hah, tell her thank you for me. Why'd she have a handsome boy like you bring me a flower?"

"Well, actually it was my idea to bring the flower. It's a rose. I thought it resembled your beauty." He said shyly.

"Wow, you are quite the flirt."

"Hah, well I guess you haven't seen anything yet." He said with a smirk.

Damn, that smirk. I think it would be feasible to melt me with that face. He is something different. I just know he's something different, maybe even something special. He used to be so sweet, what had ever happened? What happened to the boy that loved me, the boy that said he would do anything to make me happy. Now that boy is the only one holding me back from being happy.