Giyuu angst

Why are you doing this to me?

I woke up in the bed. I was next to Suma and Makio. I didn't know where Hinatsuru was, I think she was in the kitchen.

I tried to get up but i couldn't my arms gave in. They hurt so bad. I almost forgot that yesterday i was slitting my wrists when Suma came in and helped me. Fuck. Why did I do that? Now she probably thinks that I'm just a lost puppy who relies on people to help even tho he wants to die.

I don't want to live anymore. I'm going to do it. I don't care anymore. I'm sorry Tanjiro Nezuko Kyojuro Tengen Tsutako-nee and Sabito. I'm sorry.

I got up and began exiting the estate. I went to my estate to get something. My sword. I wanted to slit my throat. I got it and went into the forest. I get down on my knees and I began taking of my haori. I folded it nicely and placed it beside me.

I let my hair flow out in the wind as I grabbed my sword. I took it out of it's sheet. I placed it on my neck. At this point I was sobbing and sweating. I was afraid if this is the right choice. I was about to do it when-

"I think that we should go to the udon place, I heard that the udon they make is delicious"

"I think we should Mitsuri"

"And after that we will go make a picnic!!"

WHAT. WHY ARE THEY HERE? WHAT DO I DO NO-

"Tomioka? What the fuck are you doing?"

Oh no ...

"Shinazugawa-san? N-nothing I'm fine" I managed to get out of my mouth as i felt his hand grab my chin making me look up to him.

"The fuck you crying for man?"

"Tomioka-san is crying?"

"Tomioka?"

I saw that the hashiras had circled around me. I wanted to get up but tripped.

"Are you ok?" Asked Tengen helping me up.
He knew what I was about to do.

"Why are you doing this Tomioka?"He said as he hugged me. The hashiras looked at me and knew what I was about to do. I got out of his grip and got up took my sword and ran. I forgot my haori but I didn't want to look back. It's better to let it go anyway. I ran to a cliff. I saw Tengen Mitsuri and some other people run up to me.

I jumped.

"TOMIOKA!" Said Tengen as he took my hand at the last second.

"LET GO OF ME!" I screamed. I didn't want to do this but I had to. Who would even be dumb enough to even come and save me? I guess these 2 .
As i cried and begged him to let me go because it hurt. He grabbed my wrist that was bandaged. But not only this. Everything hurt. I wanted it to end. It was suffocating.

He pulled me up and hugged me. Mitsuri joined in.

"WHY DID YOU DO THIS TOMIOKA-SAN??" She screamed as she cried in my shoulder. I hate this. I made her cry. It reminded me of how my sister cried when i would come home covered in bruises and cuts.

This is why I started crying. She looked like Tsutako. It made me feel so bad that I made the only person that resembles my sister cry.

"Tomioka-san.. please don't do this again.... We are very worried about you...Why are you doing this.. We want to help you.. We want you to feel welcome even tho you don't this you deserve this. But you do. You deserve so much more than you have. We are so sorry that we haven't paid attention to your mental health. We should've invited you to hang out. We're sorry Tomioka-san."

Cried Mitsuri. That was my breaking point. They really tought like that? I fell so fucking bad. I tought that they didn't like me. Like at all.

"How many times did you cry without us knowing Tomioka. You can rely on us. We wont judje you. We know you think that you're worthless, but you are not. We love you. Master loves you. The kids love you. And I definitely know that Kyojuro loved you. People look up to you Tomioka. Even me. I'm sorry that we didn't know what you were going through. We're sorry. For everything. I'msorry for everything Idid to you."

Shinazugawa-san hugged me. Those were the words that I longed for someone to say to me.

"Why are you doing this to me? To us?" Asked Shinazugawa-san.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry...." I said continuesly . He hugged me tighter and whispered sweet things in my ear while i fell asleep.

Sanemi pov: Me and the hashiras took tomioka to his estate and we entered his home. Tengen went and got his haori because he knew that he really loved his haori. I put him on his bed and went to the bathroom. I was shocked.

There were blades and dried blood all over the sink. Dirty bandages and rusty blades. I was about to puke. Why is he doing this. He doesn't deserve this. Fuck i feel so shitty for doing thise things to him. Why did I beat him up? Why did i call him shitty names? Fuck I should be the one who deserves this kind of treatement. I cleaned the bathroom and went into the kitchen where all the hashiras were there. They were drinking tea and talking quietly.

"What are you talking about?"I said sitting at the table where my cup of tea is.

"I don't know what to do about about Tomioka. He seems to be in a very bad state." Said Tengen.

"When I mat Tomioka he wasn't very good at hiding his emotions but now... He has Severe depression, survivors guilt and does self harm." Said Shinobu looking down at her cup of tea.
"I'll take care of him." I said looking up to them.

"Are you sure because you don't have a good relationship with Tomioka-san?" Asked Mitsuri feeling a bit worried.

"I'm sure, I'll look after him so he won't do this anymore. I'll look after what he is eating and his self harm problem." I said looking in their eyes. They seemed shocked but relived.

They went to their own estates and I stayed at Tomioka's. He is still sleeping. He must be very tired. He's pretty when he sleeps. I'm sorry for everything Tomioka. I thought to my self before plopping myself beside him. I began carresing his bluish black hair. Then his cheeks. He looks so pretty. I hugged him slowly aware so i could not wake him up. I put my arms around his waist and my head in the crook of his head. He smelled like liliac. His pretty lashes and hus chest rising up and down. This man is the definition of perfect. Why did I do those things to him. God I'm so fucking ridiculous. He already has it hard. As i began falling asleep I heard something which sounded like "Thank you..."

Tomioka i swear to god you are going to be the death of me.

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YAYYYY I UPDATED SO QUICLY. I MADE THIS CHAPTER TODAY IN MY PHYSICS ENGLISH FRENCH AND MATH CLASS IM SO HAPPY I HOPE YALL HAVE A GREAT DAY OR NIGHT I LOVE YALL AND IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING BEING ALIVE TALK TO SOMEONE BYEEEEE

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