When the Sun Sets

Chapter 16 - Fireborn

Aniya Skywalker

Anguish is still tearing me apart, the knowledge of every single thing that just happened. The Jedi betrayed the Republic, and we had to destroy them, and – and now, we're Sith. Everything we were made and accepted as Jedi to destroy. I don't know what that means for our future.

And... and the clones were being mind-controlled during the march on the Temple, and we had to go along with it. We have no idea if we'll be able to free them. There's nothing I want more than that, because our brothers don't deserve this, but there's nothing we can do about it now. Not unless Sidious allows it, which I highly doubt he will. I'm not going to risk asking right now.

I can only give Appo a soft "we'll free you, I promise" before Anakin and I leave in our fighters. Not as if that promise matters anything, considering we promised to free our mother, too.

The trip to Mustafar is some hours, and it's... torture. Mustafar brings back very, very bad memories. I never want to think about it, but I don't want to think about anything right now. Everything at the Temple is replaying on repeat in my mind, and I can't stop asking myself, what does Sidious want with those initiates that we arrested? I don't know what he wants, and I can't shake the feeling that it'd have been better if we killed them, anyway, because now we're submitting them to the whims of a deranged Sith Lord, and whatever happens to them will be on us.

I can't believe we did it. I can't believe... any of this. I thought the Jedi were good. They were supposed to be. I should've known better. I can't believe Anakin and I never saw it, though when I look back, there were so many clues. They were everywhere. The Jedi don't... I just can't believe all that was for nothing. So much of our lives was a lie. It's not easy to accept.

We're literally our own worst enemies, though. I don't know what that means, and I... don't know how our families will react. I know Padme will be upset, and Jaufre will be horrified, I imagine, and... Master Qui-Gon was angry, and I can't stop thinking about him. What if it's true, and he is going to die? What if it wasn't Krell who will kill him? What if it was someone else? I don't know.

I don't know what to do or think or anything. Normally, I would spend this time meditating, but I can't do that anymore. I'm not a Jedi, so I don't know how that works.

Eventually, I manage to fall into a restless sleep and occasionally talk with Arthree, deciding Anakin probably needs the peace of his own mind, too – I don't even know what I'd say to him, anyway. I don't feel like I deserve to, not anymore. He's so good, but we were still willing to fall to this level, to do it together, and I... I hate myself for it.

I wish there was something else we could do, but I don't know what that would be. Instead, my anger can only turn towards Sidious – he's the one who caused this. He orchestrated it, and I – I want to end this. I want to finish it. I wanted to earlier, and for a desperate, wild moment, I wish we had, even if I know it wouldn't have worked.

I just don't want to be in this situation anymore. I can't believe I let Anakin get into it, and I... I'm not angry at him, not at all, but I wish he hadn't let us get into this place, either. The only thing keeping me sane is the knowledge that this, at least, is something we have wanted to do for years, and that with this, the war will finally be over.

Soon, the Separatist leaders will be gone. The galaxy will be free, and we'll finally have peace in sight. The trickiest part will be surviving through the initial years.

The sheer, icy darkness of the planet overwhelms me the moment we jolt out of hyperspace and start our descent towards the surface. My heart is pounding as I see the planet. I remember it so clearly, even if it's... also somewhat hazy. But most of all, it reminds me of – of my vision. When I see the lava and the way the landscape is tinged orange and gold and red, all I can think of is... is seeing Anakin being hurt.