Heartbeat

Chapter 7- Megaera

"Sal, it's time for bed." Meg communicated to the small girl. She was looking horrible. She had dark circles under her eyes and had begun stumbling while following Meg around.

"Not tired..." Sal said slowly but loudly. She knew she would forget certain words in Hand when tired, but she never failed to speak loudly. Meg knew she was at fault and that she probably looked worse. She had only been sleeping approximately two hours a night. Clem had recently permitted her to take more time before explaining what she was doing to Granny. While she had the pieces of an idea together, she was still experimenting before fully forming a plan and vision. It was the same when she had created the jurda sticks. Granny remained skeptical of her capabilities.

Since that first night, Meg had drugged herself and Sal nearly every second day. She hadn't wanted Sal to test it with her, but Sal, not being a Grisha, needed to ensure the results would be consistent. Sal insisted on trying if Meg was trying. And Meg was beginning to see consistency. The mix of a stimulant and a depressant at different temperatures had varying results. However, the most startling discovery was when including the stems, which had hallucinogenic properties when fermented and cooked quickly.

The hallucinations were frightening at first but then euphoric. All her most secret hopes were fully formed before her; it felt natural and lasted two to three hours. Sal had reported the same thing, and upon sobering up, they both had tears of joy rolling down their cheeks. They did not spare any details in their findings. They understood that they couldn't hold back when testing on themselves and that every discovery needed to be documented. The feeling evoked in both was the emotions they desired most. Sal disclosed feelings of stability, and Meg did not disclose her feelings of freedom and focus, not wanting to share her desire with Sal. Meg noticed that for days afterwards, she didn't struggle with her mind wandering and that her mission appeared more possible.

The effects were not permanent, but Meg did notice remnants. It was luring to take it again in that form, but she could resist. Thus Confirming that it was at least not initially addictive. First, however, Meg needed to figure out how to promote it as something that could make money for The Widows. Substances were regularly abused in Ketterdam, but this didn't create a sense of escape but rather brought inner peace. Meg hadn't known anyone seeking that.

Simultaneously Meg had been still seeking a way to make parem, but a version that was less dangerous, less addictive, and less powerful. She knew this was a tall order and that she was technically banned, but time was running out.

"What are we going to tell Granny?" Sal asked. Meg considered and then shook her head.

"Nothing; the other Pigeons have produced a good supply. For now, we've just been helping them. Clem has a meeting in a day or two with some store clerks to sell jays to them directly. That will make granny happy, and we'll be able to increase how much jurda we need."

"What if Granny won't pay for more?" Meg shrugged and communicated

"Ask Dal to help?" Sal paused but then nodded. Sal rarely discussed Dal, but their attachment was undeniable. They were opposites but hid nothing from one another. Initially, Meg tried to challenge Dal, saying that they were going on too many dangerous assignments, arguing she was too young. Dal would only spit on the floor in reply. Sal finally pulled Meg aside and begged her to stop, saying she wasn't helping Dal. Meg relented but still disagreed.

"'Well, if you insist on staying up, you should be awake enough to speak in Hand."

"That's not fair; you know I'll only sleep when you do."

"So we should both go to bed?"

"No, we're fine," Sal said, her hands moving slowly, and she yawned deeply; Meg laughed, tallying how many days it had been a few days since they had seen the sun.